Hello everyone. I'm 19 years old and still living with my Grandmother and my mother. My grandmother owns the house (everything is paid off, just pay property taxes and monthly water, electricity, etc) and my mom lives with her (still). I don't want to be like my mother living with my parents when I'm 50. I work at Red Lobster for $9.65/hr. Every 6 months we get a raise but I know that's not going to cut it. My grandmother's very old (78 or so) and my mom fears what will happen after she passes. She doesn't work and get's a small disability check. So we probably wouldn't be able to pay the bills. But I'd love to just have her put the house in my name in her will. But I fear I can't pay for it. I went to my community college for a semester and decided on majoring in computer science but since then (a year ago) I decided that's not what I want to do and didn't sign up for any other classes after that. My day to day life is pretty ....sad. I wake up around noon, and work anywhere between 4PM and 6PM. So I don't have much time to do things, and that's when I even DO do things. I don't know how to cook anything. I really wish I knew how, but no one ever teaches me. I think that's what's wrong with my life. I was never taught how to do anything. My dad and mom separated (not legally) and he now lives behind my old dentist office. I'm only 130 lbs, 5'11, and have chronic asthma. Trying to get my medications for free, but it's not going so well. I have many doctor bills to be paid since my medicaid ran out ($1,500). I hardly ever eat since I don't know how/don't feel like trying to make food. (my grandmother pretty much has babied me since birth, and STILL continues to do everything for me. even the laundry) I had my mind set to move out as soon as I hit 18, but that never happened. To be honest, I don't even know how I would do it on my own. I can't even get myself to wake up early to get an early start on the day. Maybe I'm just a really really REALLY lazy person. Or I'm just letting fear get the best of me. I bought a car (second car, grandmother bought my first one, and paid for everything that had to be fixed on it, which it never got fixed) a few months ago. $235 a month for payments for 6 years and $~200 for insurance a month. I started going to the gym this month and yesterday was pretty much my first day going. I just can't seem to stick with anything long enough. Maybe I doubt myself too much. idk. i'm trying to look for a second job but i don't even know about that. semester for school already started so i'll have to wait till the next to start up. I just don't know what to do. My grandfather (my only fatherly figure I'd like to think) passed in 99. i was devastated. and my mother isn't exactly a great role model to follow. my grandmother was pretty much taken care of by my grandfather. my sister moved out of my aunts house when she was 18, and now is engaged to my brothers best friend. and she's now living in N.C . My brother has been in jail for 3 years and get's out in ~40 days. im pretty excited but scared to see what the outcomes going to be Idk...I feel like just giving up on life cause I just don't see how my life's going to get any better. I'm just looking for advice / help. I've never been in a real relationship and never really made many friends in high school. And the friends I did have all moved away or joined the navy, had a kid, or just hang out with me if I have bud. Sorry that all of this is out of order but I had to get it down before I left for work and/or forgot to do it. I do like to believe that if my parents left for a month or so I'd be able to keep up the house (except bill wise) but i guess since they're here I don't really have to since they get everything done before I get to it. sigh.......i fucking hate turning into an adult. Ever since I hit 18 it's been a living hell. i jsut need help or a manly figure in my life (as my mom is always telling me)
I just want a nice relation ship, a healthy lifestyle, a good job, a nice house, and just a nice life all around. You know? not the paradise life, but a great life
i think your just having a mental break down lol. calm down your doin alright man you got a job. learn to cook something for fucks sakes it isnt magic lol. continue to go to the gym it will give you the motivation to do stuff. if your a heavy smoker, cut back, or just quit. saves soooo much money. to be big baller you got to either , work hella hours at a mediocre job(or 2 in your case) and save money, or go to college. or become a gangsta thug.save money till your figure out what your gonna do but quit trippin you got it good. take advantage of it. good luck with your family situation and medicine situation but youll be fine dood.
One thing about growing up is that you learn that things don't just get handed to you on a silver platter. You either have to work at them, learn about them or do them. So noone taught you to cook? Use the internet and get recipies, or even buy a cookbook, that's usually a good place to start. You work for pretty much minimum wage? Go and apply yourself to the learning you seemed to want to do. Yeah, its hard, but they don't generally just gift degrees to people. Feel lonely? Join a club or association for something that takes your interest. Drama? Painting? I mean you said you joined a gym? Why not actually break the habit of laziness that it is easy to get sucked into in the modern world, and actually go. When you see results, it becomes addicting, plus exterior activities look good on CVs I found, gives interviewers an idea of a person behind the qualifications and often comes up when being interviewed. Noone is going to pick you up, and molly-coddle you all the time; sorry, and all that, but that isn't the way the world works. You've got to learn to do things for yourself, OP and that requires effort, perserverance and willpower. But yeah, good luck...
Hey dude your not doing bad at all.. im your age and im doing MUCH MUCH MUCH worst an im sitll living bro you can pm me for details also i have a friend who is your age and is homeless and there whole family is in jail and they make 7 dollars an hour 5 hours a day and there one of the happiest dudes i know your doing alright dude just keep your head up try to think positive save as much money as possible get enrolled in school and go fuck some bitches and things will get better
I think you should go back to community college, but maybe try a bunch of different classes and see what you're interested in. I would read some books about different types of careers, and see what path you'd like to go on. You can transfer to a 4 year university after two years at a CC, so there aren't any careers that are completely off limits for you.
Keep working out, Eat healthier ( Learn to cook bro, Not everything gets handed to you, I'm 18 and have learned to cook by myself ) Cut back on bud, or get a vaporizer so as not to hurt your lungs ( since you have asthma ) Thc/Cbds cause vaso-dilation ( Dilate your blood vessels in lungs ) Don't expect other people to make you into a man. You have to take responsibility for your own life, and stop moping around hoping someone can save you. You are the hero, you are the writer in the storybook of your life. Pickup a sport, or something that YOU enjoy to do : Such as painting/drawing, Skateboarding, anything like that , Just to get you active and moving! Bike riding, jogging, etc. Be casual. Enjoy life, but take it slow. Don't rush things, slowly Transform. Oh, I forgot the most important thing. Become a gardener! , Go to the store and buy some seed packs, start growing your own! It's like an archaic need to connect back to nature. I connect back to nature by growing plants, whether psychoactive or not! I'm currently growing Tea trees ( Moringa Olefiera, A tree that grows 10-20 feet in a year) Very simple stuff can help you alot! 4 month- old Tea tree being grown by my dads friend, No nutrients, or manure. Straight water n soil. ( in Mexico )
Well if you don't like the way things are going in your life, take steps to change them. First start by doing things you should have been doing for yourself since you were 13. You should know how to cook, clean, do laundry, etc. Next you change your sleep schedule. Start getting up earlier. Eventually you'll get to bed earlier and feel fine. Next find a better job or go back to school. The job you get will probably suck, but meh. Work full time you you'll be able to afford things easier. Or go to school and major in something that makes sense, you'll have a better chance at finding a good job. These are things that you've just got to do. Don't like it? Too bad. 90% of your adult life is doing things you'd rather not be doing. That's just the way it goes man. You'll be better for it anyway. You just need to stop complaining about what you don't like about your life, stop feeling bad about it, and make changes. And I also suggest you cut down on your bud. Stop buying bud and you'll be surprised how much more cash you have.
Nah , don't join the military. I think he just needs to connect back to nature , change his habits/hobbies and he'll be good.
It seems like your have the right idea but you aren't doing anything to change. Im gonna be totally honest and not sugar coat anything. It seems you are just a stereotypical pothead/stoner and want everything handed to you. Stop smoking marijuana if you can't handle smoking and getting shit done. Stop for a couple months-years get yourself together and then start up again. It just sounds pathetic that you mention that you can't get yourself to wake up early and not to mention no one teaching you how to cook. Teach YOURSELF to cook. Get a job, work full time for a couple months or until the next school semester. Work your ass off till september and your should have atleast 5-6 grand. Start school again and work part time. Also start going to the gym like 3x a week or something and get in shape and healthy. In the meantime man the fuck up, wake up early everyday, and teach yourself how to cook. Also do your own damn laundry man Wtf is your 78 year old grandmother doing your laundry for? Once again im not trying to be mean it just seems that everybody in here is babying you also. Im just saying what needs to be said and not sugar coating it. So don't take it to offense, it's only to help you.
I know how that feelin is honestly. I hit that feeling at the same age (im 20 almost 21 now) and it gets better. If you are like me and pretty much have been independent and worked since 16 or 17 then I just suggest finding something that you love to do. Maybe writing or web design or something like that. At this age (the year or 2 after high school) its hard to find a direction. Don't rush it man, just enjoy life. You don't have to have a million friends or a millions bucks to have fun and enjoy life. As far still living with parents, that just sucked. My mom moved out when I was 16 (I had a decent income with running my recording studio) and came back last year. Just so your thing, you seem like a cat that don't act like a moron or cause trouble so there shouldn't be much of a clash. Just chill, find something you love to do even if it's a job, and you will eventually figure out your path. Good luck man
Connect with your grandma. Tell her, "Grandma, I love you, but I know that you aren't going to be here one day, and I'd like to be able to look after my mom when that time comes. Can you show me..." Start doing your own laundry, learn how to cook. Once you're good at it, it feels really good to make dinner for the family. You got that gym membership - start going to the gym. No one is gonna judge you for trying to improve yourself. Ask people in the H&F section (or PM me) for a good starting workout. Pick up more hours. You work 2 hours a day? Either get a new job, or get some more hours. At 9.50$ an hour, if you were to work 4 hours/day you'd be making roughly 200$ a week, assuming you don't work one of those days. That's your car insurance and payments gone in half of the month, and you'd have 400$ for your own discretion. I'd suggest putting half of that away for the future. With just 4 hours of your day gone, you can go back to school. Just take random classes until you find something that you would like to do. Lets say classes take up 4 more hours a day. Assuming you sleep 12 hours (!!!) a day, you still have 4 hours left for family, fun, relaxation. Once you graduate, you can pick up more hours at a new place in order to get more money to pay off college. Life seems hard, but its really easy once you put your mind to it, and focus on what needs to get done.
Aside from my own advice, this is the most viable option. But to be honest, Motivate yourself, watch videos online that motivate you and make you want to do something in your life. (thats what i did when i felt down and in the dumps) Trust me your doing fine, how do i know? You have a job!, a car, and doing good. Get back into college, hell, it could be for anything man! Just do something. Join clubs, workout more! Find a crutch for yourself! Alot of people love going to the gym to relieve stress and pressure from life (i like to lol). Other than that, heres my advice. Dont worry about the highs and lows, just keep cruising thorough life. Everything will fall into place. That being said, look for other jobs where your skills can be utilized, perhaps you need change of pace. Just go out, get a hobby, (listening to music can be a hobby) Your doing fine man, and if you need people to talk to, just PM me and ill give advice on anything man, its what i like doing. But all in all, your not doing that bad, at least compared to myself. haha I been looking for a job for the past 4 months, and have a car with insurance (money slowly disappearing day by day) Keep your head up. No one said life was easy, imagine it like a ocean, just keep riding the waves buddy.
I agree with what SoftPillow said about asking your grandma to help you rather than do everything for you. hell at the very least it'll give you some valuable bonding time with her before her time comes.. Old ladies are usually giddy when their grandchildren ask for a piece of their wisdom, and it helps to get a girlfriend(assuming you are a straight male) if you can whip up dinner better than a restaurant can (trust me, it is NOT hard to do better than restaurant food and it wins brownie points.) To get better at cooking you can always watch Food Network and watch their techniques. I can cook rather well, but I learned almost entirely from Food Network chefs demonstrations and cooking with my best friend. Watching people maneuver in the kitchen gives you a good idea of what you should do in that situation. I honestly don't know what to say about the whole school thing as I took a one year hiatus too, but at least you're conscious to the fact you need to change. I'd highly recommend going to CC as long as you're just being a lump on a log, take some trade classes like screen print that you can do at home and maybe on the side for some extra cash. Honestly school seems like an ideal choice since it is so hard to find good paying jobs, might as well use the time to educate yourself and broaden your horizons. I hope all goes well for you whatever you do dude, you can't live your whole life having mommy/granny take care of you all day. Don't let the couchlock get to ya either, it's way easier being lazy staying in bed, but there's no satisfaction at the end of the day. best of luck blade!