Norman and his blonde wife live in Detroit. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife went out and moved her car again. The next week they were having breakfast again when the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park ...." then the electricity went out. Norman's wife said, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Norman said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.
LMAO I heard one about the horse but I don't think i should post my version. It was with a real live horse and an audiance.Lol