1,000 Word essay on "Danger of Weed" demanded by a pig

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by HideYoChurren, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. LMAO my boy got in trouble for posession of a Nik the other day... it was such a small amount that all he gets is some probation for 6 months, but he also has to write a 1,000 word essay on the dangers of Marijuana.

    how the fuck do you write an essay on a topic that doesnt exist?

    "if you smoke weed youll become hopelessly addicted..." lol

    i told him to write the whole thing on the dangers of cigarrettes and alcohol which are 100% legal. either that or a whole essay on volcanoes. hahaha

    what do u guys think about this BS essay
  2. hahah tell him to tell them to fuck off.

    No laws are in existence that require you to do shit like that. If the cop persists on the essay have your friend file a complaint for harassment to the department.
  3. I'll write it for you:

    I really(989x) like to smoke weed, but it gives me munchies.
  4. Who the hell is making him write an essay?... But the dangers are serious bro, you can lose your job if you smoke weed. Or you could be arrested and raped in jail by guys who are dangerous to society for possessing a drug.
  5. The dangers of cannabis are mainly legal or political! But that is NOT what they want to hear!

    However, since he MUST do physical dangers, he COULD do a piece on "Cannabinoid hyperemesis". It is a rare condition where HEAVY cannabis users have their body revolt against cannabis! It is negative enough to satisfy the cops, but rare enough that 99.999% of tokers will never have it!

    Here's his research for it!

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis: cyclical hyperemesis in association with chronic cannabis abuse (full – 2004) Sign In

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis: not just a problem in Adelaide Hills (letter – 2005)
    Sign In

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis: marijuana puts patients in hot water. (abst – 2007)
    Cannabinoid hyperemesis: marijuana puts... [Australas Psychiatry. 2007] - PubMed - NCBI

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis relieved by compulsive bathing. (full – 2009)
    Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Relieved by Compulsive Bathing

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis. (full – 2010) Cannabinoid hyperemesis

    Cannabinoid Hyperemesis and Compulsive Bathing: A Case Series and Paradoxical Pathophysiological Explanation (full – 2010) http://www.jabfm.org/content/23/6/790.long

    Cannabinoid-Induced Hyperemesis: A Conundrum—From Clinical Recognition to Basic Science Mechanisms (abst/click for full PDF - 2010)
    Pharmaceuticals | Free Full-Text | Cannabinoid-Induced Hyperemesis: A Conundrum?From Clinical Recognition to Basic Science Mechanisms

    The cannabis hyperemesis syndrome characterized by persistent nausea and vomiting, abdominal pain, and compulsive bathing associated with chronic marijuana use: a report of eight cases in the United States.
    (abst – 2010) The cannabis hyperemesis syndrome characterized ... [Dig Dis Sci. 2010] - PubMed - NCBI

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome as the underlying cause of intractable nausea and vomiting. (abst - 2011) Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome as the... [J Am Osteopath Assoc. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI

    Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome. (abst – 2011) [Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome.] [Fortschr Neurol Psychiatr. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI

    Image of the month. Skin discoloration from compulsive bathing in a patient with hyperemesis syndrome.
    (abst – 2011) \tElsevier

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome inducing acute prerenal failure and electrolyte disturbance. (abst – 2011)
    [Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome induc... [Dtsch Med Wochenschr. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome: literature review and proposed diagnosis and treatment algorithm. (abst – 2011) Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome: literature rev... [South Med J. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI

    Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome: an underreported entity causing nausea and vomiting of pregnancy. (abst – 2011) Cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome: an und... [Arch Gynecol Obstet. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI

    Pediatric cannabinoid hyperemesis: two cases. (abst – 2011)
    Pediatric cannabinoid hyperemesis: two ca... [Pediatr Emerg Care. 2010] - PubMed - NCBI

    Hyperemesis and a High Water Bill. (abst – 2011) Hyperemesis and a High Water Bill. [Z Gastroenterol. 2011] - PubMed - NCBI

    OK, I'm not going to write it for him! lol

    Hope that helps!


  6. I am counting 999 words. OP dont let this guy write your essay, he won't make it long enough :D
  7. Blast! You're right. I had it at x990 before, but that didn't add up right to me.

    Have him write about how smoking cannabis can lead to a slight energetic shift on the opposite side of the universe that will trigger a string of chaotic events, ultimately resulting in the entire police force of the United States being slaughtered by drug cartel members.

  8. you probably counted really, then the 990x, and the rest of the sentence and counted 1001. And lol you high kid? I couldn't even follow that story. I think Grannys response is sufficent for a great essay to stick it to them with, I guarantee they will never expect someone to write a legitimate danger, more than likely just people agreeing with the propaganda to write 1000 words easily.
  9. tell him to make the first danger "some dealers are mean and might take your cash, if weed were legal this wouldn't be a problem."
  10. Storm crow, i thank you. that may be the only physical effect in existence, besides mental addiction i guess for people who get mentally addicted,. but that not the weeds fault, u can get mentally addicted to mcdonalds.

    there was 3 requirements for his punishment.

    1) 15 Hrs Community Service
    2) a short 6 month probation
    3) 1,000 word essay on dangers of weed.

    for those that said "he doesnt have to write it" im pretty sure failure to write it will result in a violation of probation and then he will get charged for the weed.
  11. Cannabis is dangerous because it makes you realize the government isn't there to protect you it's there to control you, which can make you feel trapped. And the issues with illegality can result in you becoming paranoid or stressed because you have to write a stupid essay. Writing this essay is more dangerous than weed, you could get a cramp in your hand or something :eek:
  12. Still sounds like a power tripping cop enforcing his own made up punishments. There is no way that writing a 1000 word essay is a real punishment. What if the person that got busted is illiterate or English is their second launguage? They gonna bring in an English teacher to see if its properly written?

    Community service and probation are probably all he will get. The essay is just to feed some troll cops ego.
  13. #13 PsilocinTHC, Nov 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2011
    Personally, I'm not gonna believe that until there's solid evidence proving it's cannabis. Not because I think cannabis can do no wrong, just because I'm a bit of a sceptic.
    I remember reading up on it a bit back, but not so many sources so thanks for giving me something to do for a bit.:smoke:
    Where I'm from probation officers sort probation, not actual cops. I'm on it now unfortunately.
    Also, everyone's is different, there are many things that can be made a requirement. I haven't heard of an essay being one but it's plausible. They would have obviously found out if the guy can read and write before assigning it to him.

    If it is real, I'd suggest licking balls and just pretending it causes cancer or some shit. Probation is fucking shit (though mine's nothing to do with illicit drugs, so at least I don't have piss tests), I'd be (and am) trying to get off it ASAP.
  14. #14 Storm Crow, Nov 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2011
    But troll cops are KNOWN to be vindictive and petty, and when they demand it, they MUST have their egos stroked or they may get vicious. In this case the "appeasement process" is simple- write him a stupid essay!

    I would just write the essay! Way simpler than dealing with a troll cop on your case! And the dude should be able to get enough info out of what I posted to do it- no trouble!

  15. I think it is real.

    My first guess. - a person is low on working CB1 receptors. The body responds by making more anandamide to take advantage of what few working CB1s there are. This person also uses" high THC, no CBD" cannabis heavily and his body gets WAY out of balance and revolts. Our bodies need the balance between all of the types of cannabinoids (CB1, & 2 and the GPR receptor activators) or things go wrong.

    I think CH may be cured in individuals who have a dietary-induced lack of CB1 receptors could be cured by adding Omega 3 to their diet to stimulate the production of WORKING CB1 receptors! The poor folks who have a lack of CB1 due to genetics (like a CB knock-out mouse) are just up the creek!

    OK, gotta go! I am still figuring out the endocannabinoid system and the deficiencies/ defects in it that cause diseases- but I'll get back to this later!

  16. you can be overweight for eating too much. damn munchies!
  17. #17 jmick, Nov 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2011
    Always listen to Granny....You have a computer, should only take 10 mins to find and download some suitable cop pleasing propaganda.
  18. Start it with...
    Then just write the entire thing about how bad too much salt and cholesterol is.:smoke:
    Again though, I'm pretty sure that's a sure-fire way to breach probation and end up with more hours and having to write an essay on why it's a bad idea to try fuck with the po-pos. lol
  19. i told em he should elaborate on this haha.

    "volcanoes are bad. they spew hot lava.

    lemme tell ya something about hot lava. hot lava is bad, mkay?"
  20. A police officer can not choose your punishment, they can simply charge you with the crime you commit. The judge chooses the punishment.

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