Been lurking for a while, thought I'd make a topic for my first post on a subject I consider myself to be, experienced in. The best form of security, is prevention, you want to prevent yourself getting into the friend zone because it's going to be hell to get out of it, your best bet is to not get into the friend zone. Alot of guys start listening to women say stuff like 'I want to be friends with a guy before I get into a relationship with them', this is a lie that a lot of women tell you, but nothing can be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is that women don't like to befriend people they date, women are very emotionally driven creatures, they have romance on their mind, and when a woman likes a man, she wants to date him, it's that simple, she doesn't want to be friends with him, if a woman is into you, she wants you as her dude, point blank, and if she puts you in the friend zone, that means you've done something that this woman doesn't like, and you've done something to get yourself out of the potential boyfriend category. So what did you do to get yourself in that category? The main thing people do, is talk to much. You can't talk too much when you first meet a woman, you've got to be somewhat of a mystery, if you want to intrigue woman, you've got to be a mystery to them. You can't get around women and confide in them, running your mouth talking about your problems, what you did at work, what you did at school, sitting up having little gossipy conversations with them, you can't do that, when you deal with women you've got to seal the deal quickly, the longer you wait to close the deal, the more likely she's going to put you in that friend zone. When you step to women you've got to be like a superhero, you've got to be so mysterious to this woman, and you've got to show her all your positive attributes when you meet her. Can't show her any flaws. Now lets say you do get with a female, and you do get into that friend zone, how do you get out? There is a way, grasshopper. Now you have a lot of females who do what I like to call, date tease guys. These are the women who usually already have boyfriends. If you meet a woman and she's always flaky, you're always trying to organize dates or outings with her, and at the last minute she flakes out, thats called date teasing. A lot of women get a little phycological rush from stringing guys along, and they do this because they have their main man at home and you're her little play toy, you're her little ego booster. You see a lot of women get an ego boost knowing they can control guys, and string them along, and have men following up behind them, while these women bullshit men. They get a little ego rush, a little power surge. You don't want to give a woman that power over you. If you want to get out of the friend zone, what you do, is start treating her like a friend. These women string you along because they know you want to hit that ass, these women know that you're waiting in the wings dieing for an opportunity to get your foot in the door, that little friend angle that you're trying to play, guess what, the women ain't buying it. They know you're hussling. That friend angle is something you're trying to do to get your foot in the door and women know this. Not only do they know it, it makes you look weak in the eyes of these women. And you should never show weakness, never seem co-dependent, sitting around wanting to be a females friend? What the hell is that. If she wants a friend, buy that bitch a puppy. If she wants a friend, take her to the Make A Wish foundation. Make friends there, be a volunteer, no one is trying to be your friend over here, we're trying to hit it. And thats the mentality you have to have. Now, getting out of the friend zone. If you want to get out of the friend zone, start treating her like a friend. That's going to throw that woman a curve ball. A lot of women are so used to you jumping up to her every need, whenever she calls you you're breaking your neck to get the phone, whenever she wants you to come over to change a light bulb or move furniture, and you're running over there like a little day laborer, cut that out. If you want to get out of the friend zone, treat her like a friend. And you step to women like this, tell her about other women you're dating, tell her about other women you're banging, just like you would a friend. This is the kicker, if you really want to get out of the friend zone, and I guarantee this works, make a move on some of her friends, people, I'm telling you, this works like a charm. If she has you in the friend zone and you start spitting game to her friends, her whole vibe will change up. Her whole style is going to switch up. She's going to start wondering, damn, why isn't he focusing all his attention on me? She's going to become competitive with her friend. If you ever get in the friend zone with a woman, seduce her friends, hopefully she has cute friends too, this is the fastest, easiest most efficient way you can get out of the friend zone, treat her like a real friend, and then she'll want to up the ante. And if the female doesn't start co-operating, she doesn't want to come around, she wants to keep playing friend games, you know what you do? Cut that bitch out. I'm going to tell you one more time. Cut that bitch out. Feel free to ask any questions, or comment. For those who don't want to read the whole thing, I've highlighted the key points.
Nothing wrong with having a female as a friend or being in the friend zone, but there might however be something wrong with wanting to sleep with them. Good friends are very, and I must stress and repeat this point, very hard to find. So if I had a best friend that happened to have a vagina I would probably want to preserve that bond. There are too many women in the world to choose from to get emotionally wrecked over someone that may care, but can't reciprocate the same romantic feelings we may have. That's just life, not everyone is attracted to or compatible with everyone else. It just doesn't make any fucking sense to force the issue just because you want to get your dick wet. I've never had a "hot friend" that I wanted to fuck, I usually get that business settled initially, but I had and do have are stable relationships with grown emotionally stable women. If you're a dating heterosexual male it's good to have several of those to bounce relationship issues off of. A person is only "trapped" if that's what they imagine they really are, so when they're in this imaginary "friend zone" they should be asking themselves about my first question.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with having female friends, or being in the friend zone. This topic as addressing those who think they can form a relationship from an initial friendship, and for those who are absolutely head over heels in love with a friend of theirs, and how to get out of that predicament.
what if i dont want to be with a girl unless we're friends first. i dont mean for straight bangin, but like a relationship.
It's possible, it's been done, and will continue to be done, but it's not a safe method of securing a relationship. If you have initial attraction for someone, and want a relationship, don't go into it with the mentality of 'friends first, love later', as I said, the earlier you close the deal, the better. Once you've sealed the deal then you can get to know her, you can sit up all night talking, but this is already within the barriers of a relationship, whereas if you're doing this pre-romance, you're initiating a friendship and not showing your true intentions.
Very well put Ak. However you also need to realize which you probably do that this forum is filled with a bunch of 16-20 yr old extremely horny boys, who dont want a good friend that just so happens to have fun parts that we all like to play with, but wants to just play with said fun parts.
First off im not going to explain Even 1/100 of what has happened with this girl, but heres my question/ story. K So i met this girl about 8 montgs ago. Things started off ok, but then i just forgot how to communicate or something lol. I could never exactly tell if she wanted to be more than friends or not she dropped some hints but nothing definative. Now here we are and shes going to be out of state for about a month. Would it be weird if when she gets back i take things from a whole new angle?
I agree with basically everything that The Mack said. I've seen it time and time again, and experienced it all too vividly. The best thing he said was the part about hitting on their friends - that shit really works so well in my experience that I wont even finish conversations with the friend until the girl in question is running in trying to grab my attention. I would suggest not obviously hitting on them, just talk to them and smile. You don't even need to take it this far, just keep the concept in mind of not giving her all your attention when you're in a group. Talk to her casually when the opportunity arises, act confident, and be sure to mingle with others (especially females) to raise your perceived social value in her eyes. Also, what he was saying about girls just keeping you around to boost their ego is very very true. Even nice girls do it without realizing the harm they're causing. They know without a doubt that you're interested and yet they still string it along, most of the time not because they want to hurt you, but just because it makes them feel good about themselves.
How old are you? Are you friends at the moment? Have you ever been on a date-typed outing? You don't know if you're in the 'friend zone' yet, she may still want you, so you're just going to have to go for it. Once you've realized whether or not you're in the friend zone, and you still want to go after her, begin implementing some of my methods. There is no room for any prevention since it's been 8 months already, you just have to find out where you are and work from there. It will be wierd, but it's the right thing to do. Exactly the point I was trying to get across, you said it even better!
Lies, lies, lies. Before I became a mack I got out of the friend zone with a couple girls. Totally possible and easily done. You obviously don't speak from experience.
That was an outstanding read, Mack, but I have one question you seem to be able to answer. Say one has his opposite sex friend and he believes he is in the supposed "friend zone". This man doesn't really have any emotional/romantic attraction left for the opposite sex friend, but the physical attraction as a result of past romantic attraction remains; i.e. said friend is really hot. What should this man do about his predicament and is there any way he can pursue casual physical encounters in a "no strings attached" environment? This man is OBVIOUSLY not me, and just a hypothetical scenario.
Frankly, you can only get out of the friend zone if the situation changes-there isn't anything you can actually do. If she suddenly becomes desperate or some shit, then you may be in luck, but you can't actually get yourself out of there, not if you ask me.
A completely different ball game, and definitely a harder one. It's one thing to win over a woman, it's another to win her over for casual sex. It can be done for women who are up for it, but with the majority, not going to be very successful. First you have to know whether she's into you, the point I didn't stress enough in the first post was that you can't get out of the friend zone with a girl who is not into you. This is for girls who want to fuck about and play games, if a girl isn't into you, there is nothing you can do. To you, Janafro, the solution is simple. First gather whether shes going to be up for casual sex once you go about the escape, and then try and get out of the friend zone. Just whether it's likely she's going to want a relationship, and not be up for casual sex. Otherwise the same hints apply as the first post, then you just have to convince her into having casual sex rather than a relationship. A bit wordy but I'm mad stoned. As I said, I'm talking from experience, you aren't.