Using Body Language to Attract Women

A lot of people have asked about body language and confidence on here, so I thought I'd share a couple of things I've learned from reading a couple of books on social interaction, psychology and influence since I'm bored.

A lot of CEO's, keynote speakers, politicians (especially politicians) and even actors (Brad Pitt, George Clooney) refer to these types of books to learn how to appear dominant. This will not only help with women, but with job interviews, other men etc.

Okay, so first, I should start out by saying that if you aren't comfortable with how you look, you should change it. Your appearance goes a long way in conveying confidence, and if you're insecure about how you look, it may bleed through your persona. It's always good to lift weights, run and eat healthy. A good physique can boost your confidence and success with women. Also, acquire a style women like and find sexy.

I work as a cashier, and since I have a job dealing with a lot of people, I get to test different techniques out on people. I can attest that by doing the following, you will be perceived as confident, smart and a person of high social value.

This is kind of long but it is summarizing what whole books elaborate on.



Body

Your body should always be upright, with your head up. It is very important never to look down when talking to someone. It is a nonverbal way of saying "I'm insecure." We often do it subconsciously, but if you get in the habit of not doing it, you will naturally feel more confident. Your body should take up space. You are an alpha male (or at least your body language should be of one) and you don't apologize or accomadate for being who you are.

Relaxation is key. Be relaxed. Lean back, never lean forward. Move slowly. If someone calls you, move slowly. Fast movement is a sign of nervousness and weakness. You aren't needy. You don't need people to like you. People like you because of who you are, not because you do things for them. They should want to do things for you, not expect you to do things for them. Women like you. You don't need them, though.

Hands

A lot of times when nervous, we forget what do with our hands. Ever feel that awkward feeling where you don't know what to do with your hands? That is a result of nervousness. Don't put your hands in your pocket. Though this can sometimes look cool and relaxed, it usually is a sign of nervousness (person doesn't know what to do with hands so puts them in pocket). When talking, use your hands with what you're saying. This conveys extreme confidence and makes you look relaxed, even with complete strangers. If you are standing, and not talking, simply put your hands to your side and let your fingers curve upward. This is what you do when you're completely relaxed. Don't be afraid to lean on things. Spreading out is always a good.

Eyes

This is perhaps the most important part of social interaction. What you say with your eyes can be the most powerful method of communication. So when it comes to your eyes, it is important, first of all, not to have darting eyes. Nothing is more pathetic than a man who is constantly scanning his surroundings and looking at everyone. An alpha male doesn't need to dart his eyes. He is in control of his surroundings. Don't look at people. Have you ever looked at someone and then they look at you? It is awkward. Don't move your eyes around looking at people. You're in control. Look above people and ignore then, unless they look at you first (sounds weird, I know).

When you do talk to someone, a quick way to convey extreme confidence, is to look them in the eye while you talk. We've all heard this one, but holding it is the tricky part. Most people can only look another person in the eye for a couple of seconds. The most influential people do it the entire time they talk. If you saw a girl, for instance, and you went up and talked to her, you hold eye contact until you've finished your statement. This immediately makes people think you're someone of importance. No one would ignore anyone who stares at them directly in their eyes. Women often blow guys off because they perceive them to be socially awkward, or weak. But looking a woman dead in her eyes for longer than a couple of seconds is extremely powerful.

Trying this at work, I noticed that most people don't hold eye contact with you. A lot of people look down after looking at you in the eyes. This is a sign of insecurity. When this happens, you've declared social dominance over whoever you're talking to in their eyes. When you run into confident people, you'll notice they do this all of the time. If you look back at them, they want to build rapport with you.

I notice when I try this on women, they usually smile at me and hold contact with me (while most people won't keep the eye contact). Women will eyefuck the shit out of you if you do this. After you look away they'll remain staring at you (checking you out). It is okay to look at a woman's breasts or butt, but don't overdo it. An alpha male doesn't make apologies for thinking about sex or being a sexual being. He doesn't avoid sex. If he wants to look at a woman's figure, he'll look without fearing rejection from the girl. This is the kind of confidence women like in men. However, doing this constantly can convey that you don't have women and aren't used to having sex or seeing women naked (even if this is true, it isn't a good thing to purposefully convey to a girl).

Of course, like any good thing, you can overdo it, and creep people out. It is best to keep contact for as long as you're speaking, then when it is their turn, rest your eyes somewhere else (without looking down or at something on the ground).

If another male is trying to intimidate, staring can quickly disable his aggression. Example: this one man at my job the other day was angry that we didn't have batteries. After asking if he wanted a rain-check, he angrily yelled at my manager. Looking at him in the eyes and nonchalantly going through with his order, his aggression was diffused (if I were to pander to his anger and apologize, he'd continue his rant). His tone and voice changed completely, even saying "thanks bud," at the end of it all. Your eyes can speak volumes.

Voice

Your voice should be low and calm, but not monotone. Having vocal range conveys confidence. But never end you sentences on high notes. That is begging for someone to like you. You aren't trying to do that because they already will like you.

Smile

Your smile is very important. Most people who are trying to please, smile a lot. They laugh at things that aren't funny because they don't want the person to dislike them. Throw this out of the window. You don't need to fake laughter to please people. It lowers your social value. When a girl smiles at you, you meet her half way. Often when people (especially attractive girls) look at you, they'll smile. Slowly grow a half smile (don't show teeth). When someone tells a joke, don't overdo your laughter unless you're genuinely entertained (which is rare). Smiling can go a long way. Growing a slow smile instead of instantly wanting rapport makes you look more confident. Again, girls are used to guys bowing at their feet for affection. You aren't one of those guys, and that's what turns girls on.

You will notice, by doing all of this, that women will exaggerate everything. If you give them a half smile, they will smile with their teeth. If she touches her hair while talking to you, this is a subconscious indicator that she likes you. If you tell a joke, they will exaggerate laughter. That is because they're trying to impress you. If you've achieved this, then you've got the girl.



In summary, you don't have to follow this to the tee, but if you try to implement some of these techniques, you will see social gains. If you have interviews, it is good to keep a lot of this in mind, as it can make you likable and appear fearless.

Add any tips you use or have picked up.

 

Yeah man. The other day when I was trying this, this older lady tried to hook me up with her granddaughter haha.

 

There is no act. You're changing your body language habits. There's nothing wrong with self improvement, physically or socially.

 

Well, when people are in the presence of someone confident, they usually are a bit intimidated (not defensive). If you're trying to pick up a girl, if she feels intimidated, in her mind she thinks you're cooler, more interesting than her. So it isn't always a bad thing, as it can make yourself seem of higher social value.

I also should've mentioned that if there are two girls, or you're talking to a group of people with a girl you're attracted to in it, to give the girl you like the least attention. This makes the people around her talk to you more, which makes her want that attention.

One book that is good that I've read on this is called How to Talk to Anyone (this isn't an ideal book for attracting women, but more so talking to people you aren't attracted to). In order to attract girls, its good to be able to communicate effectively with everyone. There are also Pick Up Artist books that go over body language and routines. The Mystery Method is the only one I've actually read but there are others that are pretty much the same, like The Game. There are a lot of online resources that sum up this stuff as well.