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Yeah this shit ain't working and it's kinda driving me batshit...
Re sub'd
I got this text this morning from the girl I was with last night. Her - "You are the first guy who has ever made me cum... I've always had to...
The first time I had sex, I couldn't keep my dick hard. It would get hard and then go soft when inside. I never had problems with it after that.
I finally found me a cuddle buddy. I can call her and she can call me whenever we are lonely and we get together and lay down, snuggle and watch...
Seeing an old couple walking down the sidewalk side by side, holding hands.
Don't you guy's hate that feeling of being hungry but too drunk and lazy to cook some food and too drunk to go out and pick something up? I wish...
Mesquite Police suck. I even got the license plate of the dude that broke the window of my car and they have yet to do a god damn thing to catch...
This post is totally appropriate for this thread. ahahahaha
Drinking Wild Turkey 101 tonight. Half a bottle in and feeling goooood. Usually whiskey makes me sleepy but i'm alright tonight.
When in doubt, always walk.
7/10 I don't know who it is. Reminds me of Ben Stein.
True but not for the air. I can't sleep if there is dead silence. I need a fan, tv or radio on for me to ever fall asleep otherwise every little...
I wanna fuck a coworker of mine. I can sense she wants the D by the things she says and the questions she asks me but you know the phrase you...
What color do you think oompa loompa's shits are?
If I got a dog I would be too lazy to train it to do that. haha, That would be awesome though. I should really get a dog. I could use the company.
95 percent of the time I use a white lighter just because I like to tempt the Gods. Edit - I'm not a musician so I should be fine right? haha
Well fuck it. Live it up till that day comes then.
So how do you see yourself going out and taking that final dirt nap?
I just took the nicest, longest piss in my backyard just now. I feel sooo much better.