Hello City Have never posted in this forum yet, soooo I thought it would be appropriate that my first post should be my FAVORITE & MOST HILARIOUS MEMORY of my friend. And trust me.....please read all of this. I promise you this story will be amazing, and is 100% honest to God accurate. And will forever be branded in my mind till I die So lets begin...... This takes place in my high school days. Summer going into my senior year and partyyyy galore. Me and 3 of my friends go to a party. Beautiful house, the kids parents were both there, but they were soo legit and didnt mind. Things are going great, about 30 people in this kids basement. Drinking, beer pong, smoking, music, conversation, ordinary highschool party. Until an hour or two go by.......and alcohol starts to take its advantage of my friend Alex....... I remember turning at one point, and seeing Alex scratching the corner of the wall and moaning. And I'm like 'ohhh god damn it', walk over to him and ask him whats wrong. He says, "I'm fucked dude, I have to go to the bathroom so bad and I'm wasted". I tell him the basement sliding door is RIGHT THERE go take a piss real quick. And he says hahaha "NO DUDE, I dont have to pee, I have to GO" and I was just thinking ohhhh myyy jesssessss. I pick up this mother fucker throw him around my shoulder. This kid Alex is like 6 ft 3, HUGE ogre dude. No bathroom in the basement. So I carry him to the basement steps, getting ready to make the most uncomfortable drunk stair climb with this kid on my shoulders. Finally, I think some sense came to Alex's head and he told me he could walk up the stairs and do it himself. He walks up.....and I just turn around and was like alrighttttt fuck him, who's next on beer pong???? my fucking mistake..............well for Alex hahahaha........... Things return to normal again without Alex and everyone is having a good time. About ten-twenty minutes later after compleatly FORGETTING about Alex, the kid who lives there-MOM, comes RUNNING....down the basement stairs, with a RAG OVER HER MOUTH. SHOUTING......."THAT KID UPSTAIRS JUST SHIT HIMSELF AND IS WIPING IT OVER EVERYTHING" Everyone RUNS upstairs....... Alex is in a corner of a closet, which he probably though was a bathroom, or didnt care. And was COVERED in shit, all over his hands, all over his face, wiping in on the walls, on their boxes, WAS EATING IT TO TRY AND COVER UP THE FACT HE DID THIS...... You think....how in the FUCK could anything, anything get worse for Alex, ANYTHING.....let me fucking tell you now. The kids dad strips Alex naked and throws him in the shower. After going through countless dollars of towels and blankets to clean him.Then he dresses him in sweatpants and a sweatshirt 5 times too small for Alex. He finally passes out in the living room for 10 minutes. The were all in his kitchen, and I say to the kids father "Sir I'm soo sorry for this kid, I honestly have NOOO idea how he got this drunk, he honestly only drank like....10-12 beers. and RIGHT when I say this, Alex leans up off the ground, and was like "FUCK YOU BRENDAN (me), I ONLY FUCKING DRANK 8 BEERS YOU BITCH" and everyoneee starts to laugh. He stands up and just collapses right away and FALLS RIGHT ON HIS FACE and bust his eyebrow up right on the little step to go up into the kitchen. He starts like freaking out and moaning, then runs to the REAL bathroom, and begins vomiting, the SHIT he just ate 20 minutes earlier...... After about 5 minutes of Alex puking, the kids dad says, "Hey Alex, would you like a Midol for that pussy of yours" hahaha and Alex turns around and says "can I please have one?" and huis dad says, "make it two" and Alex eats two Midols. hahahahah. After that things calms down and Alex and the dad sleep downstairs and everyone else continues partying in the basement and texting EVERYONE telling them what just happened. Then end up crashing. The next morning Alex wakes Dan, Nick, and I up to leave. We decide to go to McDonalds breakfast. Before getting in the car, the 3 of us ALL notice Alex has SHIT crusted into his eyebrow. The same eye that he fell on the step last night. And it was just a huge nasty looking knot, then you notice SHIT crusted into the brow....to make it all worse for him/great for us hahaha. Doesnt even notice in the car. When we get to McDonalds Danny, Nick, and I all want to go in McDonalds just so anyone awake at McDonalds will hopefully get the chance to get the once in a lifetime chance of seeing a kid with shit crusted into his eyebrow hahahah Alex never did bring it up or talks about it, how could he.....STILL to this day, I will catch him say, when hes all worked up or pissed at someone, "GO EAT SHIT BRENDAN".....or whoever hes pissed at. And doesnt even realize he said that and we will just give him a funny look. I'm sorry if this was a long read, but I HAD to get every detail and share my story with you all. Please spread the word of Alex the shiteating ogre. And please....remember........alcohol is one HELLLLLL of a drug, for some....
Those people are saints to deal with that (literal) mess Oh shit, that episode is on Comedy Central right now, did you know that and post that on purpose?
Jesus Christ, I've drank until the point of alcohol poisoning and never had any sort of accident involving shit or piss. I just can't comprehend that complete disconnect with reality, and I've partied with my fare share of mind altering substances. If something like that happened to me I would never talk to any of the people at the party again.
Lol that's some fucked up shit(no pun intended) No offense but your buddy is a straight PUSSY!! He got so drunk off of 8 beers that he ate his own shit and rolled in it.... I'm sorry but that's unheard of
hahahahahahahah No need for your sorriness!, It's my favorite memory, he's such a pussy! And the midol didnt make it any better apparently....
Great story dude, good thing for Alex that dudes dad was pretty cool chilling with him while he slept
Hahahaha great story man. I feel sorry for the kid though. Something like this could happen to anyone (with enough alcohol involved)