the offensive joke thread

If you are easily offended, or are going to bitch about racism, then leave.

How do you fit 30 Jews into a car?








Put them in the ash tray.

why do black people put their trash in clear garbage bags?




so the portuguese can go window shopping.

One day i saw a black guy walking down the street carrying a tv and i thought "thats mine!" but then i realized that mine was at home shining my shoes

What do you call a bus full of black people fallin off a cliff? A good start...

How do you get a black person out your family tree? Hang-em in the back.

How do you get a one armed black guy out a tree? Throw him a basketball.

Edited by The Green Toker, 26 September 2011 - 09:07 AM.

How do you make a dead baby float?

One scoop dead baby, one scoop ice cream, add root beer.

What sound does a baby make in the microwave?

I don't know, I was too busy masturbating to pay attention

What do you call a group of stoned mexicans?

Baked beans.

Never was a fan of this one but I'm throwing it out just because it's a classic dirty/offensive joke.


A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned."
The man says, "But this is really special."
The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?"
He replies, "Well, my wife and I come out on stage and she begins to sing the "Star Spangled Banner" while I take her roughly from behind. After a minute of this, my kids come out and begin to do the same, but my daughter's singing the original "To Anacreon in Heaven" lyrics while my son performs anal sex on her."
The agent looks uncomfortable, but the man continues, "Just when my daughter hits the highest note in the song, my son and I switch partners. He turns my wife around and gives her a dirty Sanchez before having her perform oral sex on him. When the song's over and we're both getting close, we all stop and lie down on the stage."
The man smiles fondly as he recalls, "This is the best part: our dog then comes out on the stage, and he's trained to lick each one of us to orgasm in turn. He just goes right down the line, looking as happy as can be! We all get up and take a bow."
He looks at the agent and says, "Well, that's the act. What do you think?"
The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"
"The Aristocrats!"

Why do you think I put a baby feet first in a blender?

































...So I could masterbate while looking into his eyes.

so i was taking a biology test the other day. one of the questions was..what do you usually find in cells? I guess negros wasn't the right answer

what's similar between black guys and sperm? Only one in a million works

what's the difference between a black guy and snow tires? Snow tires don't sing when you put chains on em.

Whats the difference between batman and a black guy? Batman can go out at night without Robin

few new ones i heard today lol

whats the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I dont fuck a sandwich before i eat it.


Whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench?

the bench can support a family.


what happened when helen keller fell off a cliff?

she screamed her hands off.

There were a black father and son on a plane
The plane was going to crash unless the plane became lighter
So the captain says over the intercom, we will go in alphabetical order for people to jump
(intercom) 1st african americans
The black mans child says dad shouldnt we go
The father shushes him
intercom) 2nd black people
The son tries to speak but the father covers his mouth
intercom) 3rd colored people
intercom) 4th dark people
Finally the child pulls his hand off of his mouth and says but daddy arent we all of those
The father says shush we r ******s today well let the mexicans jump first

Why cant Stevie Wonder read?



Because he is black

What starts with "N" and ends in "r" that you never want to call a black person

Neighbor

why can't helen keller drive? because she's a woman

wanna hear a joke? women's rights

why can't women drive? theres no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

why are black people afraid of chainsaws??




*starts chainsaw* RUN niqqa niqqa niqqa niqqa! RUN niqqa niqqa niqqa niqqa!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Op is a fag

^what?

how do you get a black person out of a tree?
cut the rope

what do black people and apples have in common?
they both look their best hanging from a tree

a few third graders decide to show each other their dicks on the playground. the first, a jew, has the smallest of all. the second, an italian, has a little bit bigger dick. the third kid, a black kid, pulls his dick out and it's so huge that the other kids are completely amazed.
later on at home, the kid is talking with mom. he says "me and my friends played let's see who has the biggest dick today. mine was biggest and they said it's cause i'm black. is that true??"
his mom chuckles and says "no no honey, it's because you're 23!"