TLS or Mystical Experience?

Discussion in 'Religion, Beliefs and Spirituality' started by esseff, Sep 21, 2011.

  1. #1 esseff, Sep 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2011
    What is the difference between a TLS (Temporal Lobe Seizure) and a mystical experience?

    My apologies to anyone not up for a long read - it is going to be necessary I'm afraid.:smoke:

    I'd like this thread to be an examination of my experiences, to see how closely they resemble TLS. I am lucky there are people on here with real experience of these things, and their insight will be most valuable to me.

    :smoke::smoke:


    We know that scientists believe the so-called 'mystical' state originates in the temporal lobe, and may even be a sign of having a mild seizure when it occurs. So why do I call them mystical states rather than TLS? How do they differ?

    The answer would have to be syncronicity. Where they seem to happen, what external stimulus, if any, causes them, and with whom they sometimes occur, are what seperates them in my mind. It's how they make me feel, how I was feeling before they happened, and what occurred afterwards, seem the most relevant. While this doesn't mean they aren't seizures of some sort anyway, I don't see it as being important here, at least for this.

    These experiences have only happened a few times in my life so far. Each time they did they left me in no doubt that something outside my normal mode of experience was happening.

    We know that those who experience TLS often feel it like it has a spiritual or mystical quality to it, so it may be that on a fundamnetal level they're not really any different. I have no medical diagnosis by the way.

    I believe the following experience to be what started them. What I went through at the hands of a single Police officer, while in temporary custody some 20 years ago, changed or opened something in me that left me quite different afterwards. Perhaps once you have a TLS, even if they only ever happen a few more times after that, you're always suceptible to something happening from that point on.

    I'd been involved in a bit of minor villainy - nothing involving people losing things, and nothing violent, but I'd never done anything quite like it. I was sure I was following my path, as my life was full of mates I enjoyed being around, family were still present. I was successful in my chosen field of work, with more money coming in than I needed. I owned my own house, had a new car, all the latest stuff, girls found me interesting. Most importantly, I had access to plenty of good cannabis if I wanted it, and I always wanted it ;). I was living what I felt was my ideal life.

    Then I came to a decision. I decided to change things completely. I felt I'd gone as far as I could go with this life, and set in motion a series of events, without knowing what would happen or where I'd end up, that would change everything for me.

    Three months after committing a crime I was arrested. Not because they had trouble finding me - I was at home the whole time. I just don't think I was that important really. Just another inconvenience might be more how they'd see it. Certainly no master criminal that's for sure.

    In the UK, there's not a lot of song and dance when these instances occur, as long as you comply that is. The police may be pawns of the State, sometimes called on to perform questionable things, but to me they were just people in a uniform doing a job, and that's how they mostly came across, as I always treated them respectfully.

    :smoke:

    I was brought before the Custody Sergeant and the charge was officially read out. Another officer then led me into a room directly behind the Sergeant’s desk where the camera was already set up. He took a few shots from different angles, then placed a piece of paper on the table and asked me to sign it. I immediately asked him what it was, but instead of just telling me, which seemed the most approapriate response, he became strangely defensive and told me not to cause trouble. I didn't think I was.

    Feeling more than uncomfortable, I told him that I’d need to read it first before I could sign it. This made him visibly angry, and he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me right to him. At this, all I could do was stand and stare at the paper. I even knew this would appear as if I was reading it, but I felt so shocked at his aggressive manner, that I actually couldn't read a word.

    He suddenly grabbed me round the throat and hoisted me against the wall. He was shouting and swearing; spit was flying out of his mouth. One hand was all it took to do this, and I could feel his nails digging into my neck. Yet, I had no sense of panic or any fear; not the slightest desire to do anything about it. I felt completely at peace with myself.

    As I noticed this detached feeling, a tingling sensation, like a really strong orgasm, passed through my whole body like a wave. In that moment I became certain, that not only what this exactly as it should be, but I needed to surrender completely and let it play out as it will.

    The tingling continued, and I felt myself getting lighter and lighter, until suddenly, I realised I was going to die.

    When I was a boy, I used to have strange thoughts that I'd somehow know when this was going to happen. I suddenly felt just like the little boy again, and found myself really surrendering to the possibility that this was that time. I just let go, opened and waited, wondering what the experience was going to be like. I just looked into his eyes as I did. The shouting had stopped by this point. All that was left was this intense hatred in them.

    I realised I’d given him no indication that what he was doing was having any effect on me. It was only now I felt I ought to. I wasn't able to do much, but it just needed to be something to remind him that were he to continue doing this, there’d be real consequences for both of us.

    I made a small sound with my throat. Seconds later his eyes widened slightly, just for an instant. It was like watching the process of realisation taking place, and as it reached a certain level of awareness, he suddenly understood what he was doing and immediately let go of my neck. The atmosphere changed completely. The hate and anger were gone.

    All the colour was gone from his face, and he stood holding onto the table as if he might lose his balance without it. I sat down and immediately considered what had just happened. By not wanting to sign the form, as if just for a moment, I'd felt like someone who the police would certainly want to 'frame' if they could, rather than just who I really was, an idiot going through a routine process as quickly as I could, was the only reason I could see why this experience had occurred, even though it should never have provoked such a reaction.

    As I sat there considering it, another wave swept through me. It felt so humbling that I stopped thinking about it, looked him straight in the eyes, and just apologised.

    I don't know what he made of me saying this, as he just stared at me for what must have been ten seconds with no facial or vocal reaction whatsoever. Finally, he asked softly if I’d now sign the form. Without any further hesitation, I walked over and did so without attempting to read any part of it. He then led me outside and took my fingerprints. He was patient and calm but didn’t say another word during our remaining time together.

    It would take just over a year before I experienced something else. It was different, under very different circumstances, and I'll post it here when it's ready.
     
  2. ok so....the cop story would make alot of sense....as an inflated flight or fight response is common with temporal fringe events....

    the main question of is there a difference........
    we would have to look at what causes them i would think......?
    and when we do look at this...we find that almost always...the doctors cannot find a reason at all.........
    occasionally there is scaring to growth within the brain causing these events.....but most of the time the cause is completely unknown....

    yes once you have had a single seizure.....no matter how "small" the pathways have been created...and never go away......
    my research shows that many people have tiny temporal events without it ever coming to the attention of the "outside world"

    those of us who love these feelings ...tend to keep it to ourselves.....(as you have read)

    now...i can say that what i have read makes it seam as tho .....
    even if these events are artificially stimulated.....rather then naturally/spontaneously occurring.....people have the same "type" of experiences...

    you are not the first to ask these questions.....
    there are doctors who are studying what they are calling neurotheology.... Neurotheology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    and just how our neurological processes are involved in the idea of religion/mystical experiences.....
    some found themselves so interested they came up with ways to attempt to reproduce this state.......

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YPOTaUyvA0]Dr. Persinger's God Helmet - YouTube[/ame]

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnRd49L7X3s&feature=related]The God Helmet: This Helmet Made Me Believe!!! - YouTube[/ame]

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y02UlkYjSi0&feature=related]THE GOD HELMET (Koren Helmet) Michael Persinger - YouTube[/ame]

    Neurotheology: This Is Your Brain On Religion : NPR

    Neurotheology

    Can "neurotheology" bridge the gap between religion and science? - By George Johnson - Slate Magazine

     
  3. #3 dirtydingusus, Sep 21, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2011
    Types of Seizures | epilepsy.com




    i havent watched this yet ...just found it... The Sacred Disease
     
  4. I dont know about epilepsy...only have exp. with bi-polar...many 'mystical' experiences there......but the only thing thats ever worked for me well in the area of meds was something that is used for epilepsy: Lamictal.
     

  5. the only thing that worked for you was an antiepileptic......
    maybe you want to read this
    Complex Partial Seizures Present Diagnostic Challenge - Psychiatric Times




    and here is just a single page of the search;):smoke:
    most of these lead to forums full of people with TLE who were first misdiagnosed with one "mental" issue or another


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  6. Thanks for the links...I read some of it..esp. the first one...Is it possible to have a 4 month long seizure?..haha..b/c thats how long my 1st episode lasted...lol...my experience of mania has been quite unusual...wish I could live in that state...but I have a schedule to keep...:smoke:
     
  7. #7 1Trismegistus1, Sep 22, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2011
    Can someone who suffers TLS induce mystical experiences at will, end them at will, and create objective phenomena that other people can also experience?

    Last I checked seizures tend to happen on their own and are uncontrolled.

    edit: Once my teacher slipped into Gnosis during a lecture, and it had a profound effect on everyone else in the room, a woman started crying, many people began shaking, and personally my mind went completely blank, a state I have trouble achieving at will let alone effortlessly without trying, a very deep blissful state. This happens due to the mind of the Adept literally expanding to encompass a certain area, and so you share the consciousness of the Adept to varying levels momentarily. Someone having a seizure will not produce such effects. It wasn't until after it occurred that he told us he had slipped into Gnosis, and that he wasn't giving a transmission (which also causes similar symptoms in those present)

    edit 2: The shaking and emotional responses are a result of what is called catharsis, the purification of the subtle energy channels that run through the body. They are related to the nervous system and so the increased electrical activity is what causes shaking during things like pranayama, but can also be induced by a Master with much better efficiency.
     
  8. #8 esseff, Sep 22, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2011
    So I began looking into the possible meanings behind what I'd felt throughout that experience. TLS wasn't something I'd heard of back then, all I felt was that if there was some other way of seeing things, I wanted to find it and prove it for myself. I'd never been a religious man, in fact I'd rejected the religious aspect of my Jewish upbringing when I was 7, but there was clearly something going on here, and I wanted to understand what it was.

    I wasn't working anymore, and fortunately no longer needed to, so I just spent the year meditating, reading, reflecting, smoking, learning to be.

    Towards the end of the year, as my world began to change, both physically and psychologically, an idea came to me. Within two weeks of having it, I'd be walking away from everything I owned, letting go of everyone I knew, and going to live in Israel, with no intention of ever coming back, one night before the first Gulf war began.

    More soon.
     

  9. i have been in partial status(back to back partial seizures) for months on end....
    having these tiny partial seizures nonstop.......so yes it is quite possible....

    also....i have to remember where to quote it from....
    but....this type of "unseen" epilepsy effect thinking and personality/behavior even when not having any seizure activity.....

    would you mind giving us some examples of that state you wish you could live in?
    cus you sound just like so many of the people who to experience this....
    from a neurological perspective...it is extremely common for people to have these simple partial seizures for many many years without know it is epilepsy at all...unless/until it progresses into larger/complex/generalized seizures...
    it goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed as mental/psychological....
     

  10. yes
    some can start and stop it.....tho the docs say no....
    it is evident from listening to people who experience this

    does this mean that is what your adept is doing?
    couldnt tell you for sure without hooking him/her to an EEG and having them do it then.......
    but it is almost certain that there will be more activity in the temporal lobes durring this event.....will it create the spikes and waves that mark seizure activity? idk? but there is a very good chance that the answer is yes......


    what she describes here^^ is a simple partial seizure (from her perspective as it is different tho similar for everyone) leading into a complex partial or a generalized seizure......thats what she means by crawling into an attack...
    those who go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed...will fade back into reality rather then going deeper in.....

    i believe my epilepsy only progressed like it did because i spent so many years holding onto that feeling and trying to make it last as long as possible....trying to find it when it wasnt there......


    so is your guy creating a seizure within himself?
    idk?(would need EEG to know)
    but regardless of seizure activity...it is the temporal lobes that are the part of the organic root which connects to these experiences

    i would be more then interested to see what we would find if an EEG was used on your adept.......;):smoke:



    looking forward to it
     
  11. I'd never been in any kind of conflict situation before; you could say I'd spent my whole life avoiding things like this, but it just felt so right to be there.

    I found myself experiencing air-raids, explosions, gas masks, but most importantly, I met some of the realest people I'd ever come across. I did this while staying with an Israeli I'd only just met, who was a reservest in the army, and who of course was prepared for anything. For a short time, I had a slightly younger, big brother, who always knew where to get the best Shwarma.

    I visited the volunteer office in Tel-Aviv and made arrangements to move to a Kibbutz, right by the sea, next to the old city of Caesarea.

    The experiences I had there are too numerous to mention here. I cherish all of them, even though as with all experiences, some weren't always easy to deal with. But there was one in particular that seemed to have the TLS hallmarks all over it.

    :smoke:

    One evening, I was sitting on a large rock, at the top of a hill, looking out towards the sea. I was completely alone, or so I thought; everyone else was still eating. One of the new French volunteers came over and sat next to me. I'd never spoken to him before. He hardly spoke any English, and my French was no better.

    I felt no need to acknowledge his presence, and just accepted him in silence. After a minute or so, I must've moved my head slightly, because as I did, I noticed that he had a joint in his hand. As if noticing my awareness, he raised his hand and offered it to me, and after I took it, he got up and just walked off. I hadn't smoked for a few weeks at this point, so I took a couple of puffs, and my consciousness suddenly expanded beyond anything I'd ever known before. The most profound realisations about my life and life in general came flooding into me. I felt like I was seeing things as they actually were - with the world being like a loving teacher, and I'd been having very specific lessons. It was both incredible and humbling at the same time. I felt so priviledged seeing this.

    I eventually left the rock and started walking. There weren't many people around, but the few I did see, as I watched them approach, somehow revealed what was going on inside themselves as I looked. Whether they were sad or happy or worried, or whatever was going on for them at that moment, I could see it through their eyes, as a kind of light. I never spoke to anyone, I just knew I was seeing the truth.

    This carried on as I sat in the volunteer's common room. I was still experiencing profound insights and realisations, only this time, the people around me were helping me understand what they meant. By simply watching them going about their business, coming and going, doing their thing, I could see who they were, and what they were trying so hard to find without realising it. But they also seemed to act out the very scenarios that revealed my insights objectively. It was such a liberating feeling to see things like this.

    Over the next 3 months, I opened up to most of the other volunteers in a way I'd never expected to. I found myself not only wanting to listen to anyone's problems, but could ask such specific questions that it quickly got right to the heart of the matter. People started revealing the real reasons they'd come to Israel at this time. It felt like such a priviledge being able to not only be someone who wanted and was able to listen, but guide or say something that actually made a difference.

    I remained in Israel for almost 8 months during this first visit. But it wasn't until a week before I finally left that I came across a small room the Kibbutz had set aside as a library for the volunteers. Inside it I found a book probably left by one of the previous workers entitled: Autobiography of an EX-Yogi. The title intrigued me immediately. What would make a Yogi give up?

    Turned out the 'EX' part referred to going beyond the traditional yogic stage into a state of being where such titles were no longer needed. It was about the life of an American man who'd been sent to live on an Ashram in India back in the 70's. He'd apparently experienced things that sounded very similar to me. As I read the book, I felt like I really wanted to go there.

    While it wasn't long before I'd end up doing so, it was an experience that happened enroute, while in Thailand, that ensured I not only went there by myself, as I'd always intended to do, but release the female companion who was now travelling with me.

    This was to be the most profound TLS experience I'd had so far.

    TBC:smoke:
     
  12. #12 dirtydingusus, Sep 22, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2011
    once you consider the vast amount of things that a temporal fringe experience can educe.....
    it is hard not to see it in all kinds of things....
    sometimes just tiny undercurrents....playing on the surface or just below
    ...others times like waves crashing in the mist of the storm........

    here are more quotes from others who live this....


     
  13. As you can tell, I can't help writing about this stuff in a narrative style. I don't know whether it's necessary or whether it makes it easier or nicer to read, or whether I should just stick to revealing the cold facts. Trouble is, I'm a writer, so it's what I do.

    These experiences may or may not be an indication of TLS. But for a long time I just saw them as part of my journey - mystical experiences have been reported by mystics for a long time. I was walking a spiritual path. Why shouldn't mystical experiences happen to me?

    For me, the reality of the experience, together with how it affected me afterwards, in what felt so right, makes it something that doesn't really need explanation. Can I ever know whether they were real or not? What is real anyway? Aren't all experiences subjective, even those we share?

    I don't think I need to take you to Thailand. Instead, I think I'll reveal something that happened in India.

    If you're still reading that is:smoke:

    TBC
     

  14. you already know i am still reading.....

    until i woke up in the hospital.....and the neuro came in to tell me i had more back to back partial seizures on the eeg then he had ever seen in 20 years of being a neurologist......(yes that was how i was told the day i was diagnosed) i had no reason to believe that those experiences were anything but mystical....and i still believe they were/are.....
    it is every thing about it that makes it so clear and certain that is what it is......
    i still dont think there is a line.....and if there is....it is completely blurred....
    i never felt it needed explanation....only that i needed more of it...to understand what it was showing me....so i followed the clues....

    i cannot count the times in my life that i thought......
    there is nothing other then some kind of god that could put such visions in my head....that could take me right out of this world....
    that could make such perfect music.....
    (i still dont believe in religion....man has made a mess of that for far to long to get much out of most of it-but i have always known they had it wrong.....even tho i cant tell you exactly what is right....i knew very young that "they" had it all fucked up-they were missing to much...and just filling in the blanks with their own bulshit....)

    my research leads me to believe that a tiny bit of temporal fringe activity is all it takes to draw people to religion- philosophy -art - music...it draws people to ideas of the supernatural....


    LaPlante, in her book Seized, aptly sums up the growing evidence linking TLE and creativity:





    and we can go to india.....but that doesnt mean we dont eventually make a stop in thailand
     
  15. more quotes i came across.....
    my main intention with these quotes from people with TLE is to show the range of type and intensity these experiences can produce
    Gruesome visual thoughts/images - TLE | epilepsy.com
     
  16. ok so.....
    i am thinking about that line......

    the blurry one between what is temporal and what is mystical.....

    and i am reminded of the double slit experiment

    and the way things react on an atomic level.....

    this thought always brings to me pictures of the interconnectedness of all things....

    when is the line there?
    when you are looking at it....when you expect it to be there....

    everything is dependent upon your observation.....

    how do you want to see it?

    i find my thoughts drifting to tiny drops of water -endlessly bouncing on a pool of silicon
    i see the way the waves and ripples push one another
    the way the drops play on one anothers movement
    they way they dance to the vibration of the table the pool rests on.....

    the line is only there if you want it to be.....or if you let them convince you it is......

    i never would have taken the first antiepileptic drug if i haddent woken up intravenously pumped full of them......without my consent they filled me with drugs that did me nothing but harm....and worsened my condition beyond any they have seen anyone live thru ....
    thanks doc!:mad:
     
  17. #17 dirtydingusus, Sep 23, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 23, 2011

    they didnt want them to stop!!!!!!
    didnt comply with meds so they could have them!!!!

    Diagnosing Dostoyevsky


    but believe me, I would not exchange it for all the delights of this world-
    that line makes me cry.....real tears






    http://www.macalester.edu/psychology/whathap/UBNRP/tle09/Religiosity.html
    the neurotheologists seam to have a much better/more acepting attitude then most "religions"
     
  18. no beginning, and no end. just soaring on a line through space and time





    a whale in the ocean, all is sublime

    let us guide the light
     
  19. I so hear you on that one!


    OK. So I've decided we might as well go to Thailand after all :smoke:

    I'd become close to a woman during the year before I left for Israel. She'd been involved with someone else throughout, in fact, they'd bought a flat together and were planning on getting married. The three of us spent a lot of time with each other - I even helped them decorate. Nothing ever happened between us, not even close, we were just friends in our own right.

    I came back to arrange an Indian visa. As soon as she found out I was home, she ended her relationship, moving herself and her stuff out of their flat. She transferred her share of the property over to him and let go of their relationship completely.

    A week before I was due to leave, she came round to see me. She told me what she'd done and made it very clear she wanted to go with me. When she found out I was intending to visit Thailand first, that put the cherry on the cake for her so to speak. She was already a second-dan black belt in Karate and had always fancied learning Thai boxing. She intended to stay on while I carried on to India.

    :smoke::smoke:

    I was sitting on the guest house bed meditating, she was standing by the window looking out. Without turning round, she suddenly announced that she wanted to have a baby, and then with almost no pause in between, said she thought she might be pregnant. She turned to look at me and confessed that we’d been making love without the contraception I’d thought she was using. In fact, she declared that she’d stopped taking the pill several months earlier as she’d stopped having sex with her previous partner. If this was true, there was no doubt that any child she carried was mine, although I didn't really believe she'd be so aware of being pregnant so soon. Nevertheless, I had to consider what it would mean if she was right, and I knew it would change things entirely – I even began to doubt whether I could go to India now.

    Without any warning, my consciousness just changed completely. The transition was so profound that it reminded me of the experience I’d gone through sitting on that rock in Israel. But, it only reminded me of it, because this time, I was experiencing some rather odd physical symptoms too.

    My mouth slowly tightened into a closed ‘O’ shape – I knew that speaking was no longer possible. My arms rose up in front of my chest, bent at the elbows, with my hands bent forwards, tingling as if with pins and needles. It was obviously strange, yet I just felt instinctively not to resist it. As I kept myself present and still, the feeling suddenly became so ecstatic and liberating, that silent tears just rolled down my cheeks.

    At some point I opened my eyes and noticed her sitting on the edge of the chair; she looked terrified. As I did so, she came over and sat next to me, and reached for my hand. I instinctively took it away, not wanting any physical contact, but felt guilty almost immediately I did - after all, she’d only wanted to comfort me. I didn't want her to feel that my not wanting to be touched had something to do with her directly, so I reached out and squeezed her hand briefly.

    After this distraction the experience took over again. The feeling increased further and further, and when it seemed as if I simply couldn’t take anymore, a single thought came into my mind: “What about the children?” I wasn't sure what it meant, but I reached out and grabbed it as some kind of 'lifeline' by which to come back be, and as I did, everything went into reverse. Like a washing machine that had finished its spin cycle and was gently coasting to a stop. My hands slowly lowered and my mouth became free again.

    During the experience I'd been certain I knew what was happening to me, and it seemed the 'rightest' thing possible. I was changing, transforming, becoming something else. Now that it was over, I couldn’t even look at it; I just seemed so unworthy. Who was I to be having such experiences anyway?

    Just before this, she'd given up the idea of staying on and was continuing on with me to India. But something had changed now. I was not only certain that I was still going to India regardless of her possible maternal feelings, but I was in no doubt that I’d be going there alone. When I told her this, she said she understood completely.

    The following day I bought a one-way ticket - she arranged her return to the UK at the same time. Both our flights left Bangkok two days later.
     
  20. A number of experiences occurred while I was in India. Here's some of them.

    I'd taken a room for the night before carrying on with my journey. I was sitting on the bed, listening to the sounds emanating from the street, when a profound loneliness came over me. My desire to carry on just disappeared, in fact I didn't know what I was even doing in India anymore at all. As if I'd just woken up from a dream, I became overwhelmed by the realisation that I'd completely let go of everyone I cared about, everything that was familiar to me, in order to undertake this journey. The weight of this became almost unbearable, yet it demanded my complete attention at the same time. The feeling slowly became more intense, so intense in fact, that I began to feel as if nothing else existed. No past or future, no body, no sense of self, nothing – there was just consciousness. I remained like this for some time, but at no point did I try and do anything to change it. I just accepted it was happening as completely as I could.

    Finally, I reached across and opened the drawer of the bedside table. Inside was one of those Gideon Bibles. I took it out and started reading it. It was the first time I'd ever really looked at this book. I hadn't read very far, when I suddenly turned over a lot of pages and found myself at the beginning of John's Gospel. I slowly read the whole thing, and by the time I reached the end, I no longer felt alone anymore. I no longer doubted my being in India, and felt certain that I was doing exactly what I should be.

    :smoke:

    I finally reached my destination, found the Ashram I was looking for, got introduced to a 'teacher', and ended up being invited to stay with him for as long as I wanted to be there. I would spend my days writing, walking, smoking, meditating. I ate a mostly vegetarian diet even though I wasn't vegetarian. The weather was hot and dry, the mosquitoes partied on me constantly, but the feeling of being 'at home' was unmistakeable.

    One morning, I was sitting in an open-fronted cafe looking out towards the street. At the junction of the road directly opposite, a rickshaw ran over a puppy's leg. The little thing was yelping and limping all over the place, until it finally sat down in the middle of the road having resigned itself to its pain. Someone came along and shook his fist at the on-riding vehicle. I'd seen him before; he slept on the pavement and had elephantiasis of the left leg.

    Two women crossed over and picked up the dog carefully placing it onto the pavement. It was still yelping loudly and in a great deal of pain. The traffic increased for a moment as a few vehicles passed by. For a couple of seconds I couldn't see or hear the dog. When the traffic cleared, the dog was no longer yelping, instead, it was walking around without any trace of a limp, playing in the same part of the road as if nothing had happened.

    :smoke:

    I came across a cart loaded with bananas. Several people were just standing there and eating. As I was deciding what I should get, the man began to push the cart away. He said something I couldn't understand, but I knew it meant I wouldn't be able to have anything. I accepted this and walked home.

    As I closed the front door, I thought: ‘Take a walk to the breakfast place you go to, but go down the road next to the one you normally take.' This thought seemed different that I felt compelled to follow it there and then.

    I'd never walked this way before. It was quite narrow and in need of much repair. About a hundred yards down I saw a woman leaving her house and on her head was a basket full of bananas. As she saw me, she beckoned me over. I bought my bananas.

    :smoke:

    I quickly got into a routine of going to the Ashram inner courtyard at least once a day. It was such a calm place, and so different to the hectic energy of the world just a few feet outside it. If I'd been writing, it was nice to go there for a break. While I'd also walk around the streets sometimes, there was always the chance of being approached this way. Local people seemed really inquisitive and friendly towards me, and I didn't like refusing them when I really just wanted to be alone.

    After sitting on one of the Ashram's concrete benches, I went back to my room to continue writing. It was late afternoon, people would finally be out on the streets again now that the intense heat of the day had begun to subside. There'd also be plenty of people riding their bikes or small-engined, noisy scooters. But as I walked back, I noticed something strange - there was nobody else around.

    At the junction of the road and the main dual-carriageway, I saw a man standing in the middle of it with his back towards me. He looked over his shoulder briefly as I approached. He was an elderly man with a dappled grey, short-cropped beard.

    As I walked passed him, he moved right across me, as close as possible without touching me, at just the right moment as if intending to stop me, causing me to do just that. I stood there looking at him without saying a word. I heard him muttering something quietly to himself. I then just carried on, and so did he, right by my side.

    I was proceeding at my usual leisurely pace, when he suddenly took hold of my right hand quite firmly and began to lead me. He was soon ahead of me by the length of my arm, pulling me like a mother pulls a reluctant child. I perceived two things simultaneously: I didn't know what was going on, but it was also nothing to worry about. The first part felt like me, but the reassurance was something else. I hesitated ever so slightly over this and the man stopped walking immediately. He didn't release my hand though and we just stood in the middle of the road in silence. As I looked at his hand holding mine, a strange feeling came over me - whatever was happening here was special somehow. This feeling became stronger and stronger until it became so powerful that I began to experience a deep desire to let him take me wherever he'd been leading me. I gently urged him to carry on, and as I did so, he again muttered something quietly, released my hand and walked away in the direction we'd just come from. I felt a brief sense of disappointment, but then just accepted that this strange experience was now over and went to carry on. As I turned, without knowing why, I looked back over my shoulder - there was nobody there!

    It was only then that I became aware of people, life, bikes, noises - just what should've been there in the first place, and what was always there from that point on. Bizarre.
     

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