Ok, before i get this thread going let me say that neither I, nor my girlfriend are pregnant, and niether of us are ready to bring a child into this world. but i feel that having a child is one of the scariest life changes a person(man or woman) can live through, to have somthing that is entirely dependant upon you. I'm just extreemly bored at the moment and have had waaaaaayyy tooo much time to think latly, so i was wondering what some other peoples opinions would be on when the right time to have a child is, and why. and even if there are Blades that are going through this process right now...whats it like? sorry if this is a little wierd but,...oh well
Hm... Let me first tell you that I have two kids. Both boys. 6 and 4 years old. -- For me, having kids is about continuing the family tree. And preserving my gene.
were the children planned, if its not too rude of me to ask? and if so what factors aside from the family tree played into the ultimate decision?
The first one was an accident. A good one. The second one was planned. I'll answer the second question later. brb.
I have 3 children. 2 with my ex wife, the oldest was planned and the second was unplanned. Both of them are boys ages 17 and 13. I also have a daughter (4) with my wife, she was not planned, but also we were not trying to avoid having a child together. All 3 of my children are my world and very important to me. I can honestly say I have no regrets with any of them. I would lay my life down for them without a second thought. I have custody of my boys from my first marriage because my ex is totally irresponsible, I'm not saying that out of spite either. She truly did not take care of them after I left, my boys were begging the neighbors for food, never had to bathe and never had clean clothes even though I was giving her TWICE the amount of child support before it was even ordered by the courts. Once all of this came to light thanks to a tip from my former neighbor I immediately went and took my kids and filed for custody. My children are my world. It is my obligation to see to it they are loved, cared for and raised in a good home. I'm not one to really care about carrying on the family name and to be honest when I was younger I never wanted children, needless to say that changed. I had a shitty father and I wanted to have children of my own so that I could make a difference in this world. I feel I do that every day by raising them right and being fair. They will get the opportunities I never had. They will always know that they are loved and respected. I can't say it enough, they are my world.
Off topic, but i respect you so much for this. You are a great guy and dad. I hope you dont take this the wrong way but i hope to be like you when im older. just thought i needed to put that out there
Thanks man it means a lot to be told that. Honestly. I had a shit father and I promised myself if I had children that I would be the opposite of him and I believe I am. My kids drive me insane at times but that is expected. It's all about improving the next generation. Besides, one day they will choose my nursing home...LOL!
Im `18, no kids. IMO the best time to have kids is when you can actually afford to support them. I dont plan on having kids till: Im at least 30, make 100,000+ a year, gross, have a house, and enough invested to send all my kids to college/university when they graduate. I also want to be able to spoil my kids, buy them cloths, take them on trips, help them buy there first car. I was raised with cheap ass parents, im not going to do the same to my kids.
There is never a "right" time to have kids. Not on paper, not in general. But it still happens all the time and people adjust and get on with life. And yes, once you have them, it's hard not to let your kids become your whole world. Well, if you're worth a shit as a human being anyway.......
Honestly, I think kids are the best advertisement for vasectomies. I don't want one........ ever. There's too many people in this world as it is. I will not contribute to it.
NEVER. I don't want kids for two reasons: a. They are fucking hellions and b. No kid deserves to be brought up into this fucked up piece of shit we call earth. I think it's something you've got to plan out and think a lot about. Getting an attention-needy pet might make you realize what you do or don't want. I just got a kitten and I love her to death but she pisses me off so much, no way in hell I'm dealing with a human being.
Same here, I hate kids,they reach into the very deepest confounds of your soul and destroy it. Your life becomes their life,no longer can you plan or commit action to progress your own existence. Also,they are fucking annoying! Not to mention passing on ones genetical information is overrated. What the fuck do I care where my genetics end up,its not like I get to come back to life in my son's body or something. Once I'm dead that's it,I could care less about who is roaming around afterwards.
Good to see another 'dad', interceptor! -- As for the family tree issue, well... It's Asian (Korean) tradition, I guess... the family name, not all, but some, are given by the king, to a commoner, and that name is passed on to the first male decendant of the family, and it goes on and on until the bearer of the name cannot produce any sons, then the family name dies. So... it's like... I don't know man... Do Americans give a damn about their family names? -- Added : Oh yeah, and this may sound totally mideval, but in the old days, by looking at the family name, you can tell the social class. Slaves and commoners didn't even have family names. Nobles, scholars, and royals had a family name, and by looking at their family name, you can tell where (geographically) they came from, who their ancestors are, and what occupations they held. Today, such thing doesn't exist, but in the old days, things were like this.
Having a child is a big responsibility. It can also be a major source of joy and reflection. Nothing can beat that feeling when you hold your child in your arms for the first time. You and your mate were the only combination that could make this baby. A lot of folks say the dang things don't come with owners manuals. True, but have you ever looked around in a book store or online?
I have three kids, an 8 year old and two 6 year olds. I was 37 when my first was born and had figured after all the time my ex and I had tried that I was probably shooting blanks. Apparently not. It is hard to put into words how much I LOVE being a Dad. Other than the first few months with the twins, I can hardly think of a bad thing to say about being a parent. I do think that while 37 is a little old, I have definitely been a calmer, gentler Dad than I would have been in my Twenties. Being a little older, my career was well established, my financial house in order, I had all the 'boy toys' wanted and that kind of thing. That helps parenthood not be just another stressing burden. One other REALLY important thing in my opinion. My relationship with my Wife is good, and we are fully vested as partners raising our kids. I can't imagine how anyone can possibly do it alone, let alone enjoy the experience.
i know that in the future someday i will want/be able to handle kids...preferably a son because i feel that having a daughter would make me hyyper over protective knowing all the thoughts that went through my head about girls when i was a teenager...but i never had a father he left when i was 2 so I'm determined to be the best father i can possibly be, and i hope to have a woman by my side who also wants to be a good parent, but a good partner to me. __________________
All I can say is I don't believe there is a right time, I'm 25 and I learned along time ago that you cant predict what will happen in the future. I have a 14 month old daughter, I was with her mother for 3.5years, we were best friends for 3years prior to that. My daughter was 8 months when she decided to have a mid life crisis, long story short we're no longer together. I am however very thankful for my daughter, she's the most awesome thing ever. And I can honestly say I've been a great father so far and I plan to continue on that road. And I hope that I'll get the chance to have another one, one day, this time with the right woman.