We were on unmentionables "On it leaves you with more question marks then the marks you came off of" this was said just after seeing some crazy shit, and hearing some crazy shit as a group.
me: *talking about a party last night* yeah i showed up with my mate jack.. my mate: "yeah and his cousin jim was there as well" stoned dealer: "what about the russian sweetheart, vodka?"
For some reason my old dealer thought it was funny to try and sell weed to little kids . So one time I buy weed and I ask for a ride. He said sure and on our way he pulls up to these fifth graders walking on the sidewalk and yells " wanna buy some weed little *****s !! " and proceeds to pull out an ounce and throw a bud at this kids face who is scared shitless and we sped off. We laughed our assessed off haha
I know but you should have seen the bud bounce off of his face . He was like what the fuck just happened
"dont buy that niqqas fake ass poo-wap, that niqqa drops his crack on your weed. Get this shit right here, ill give 2 for $25"
I was going through a different connect and hes a pretty weird dude and like 5 years older than me, so I walk up to him to get the bud and this is how the conversation goes Him: ""Nice shoes bro. What are those 9s?" Me: "Nah man 11 1/2s" Him: "Oh.... I wear 9s..."
Me: What are you doing tonight? Dealer: Fuck all, you? Me: Getting a mini keg Dealer: A keg of weed..? Me: LMFAO!!!!!! A keg is beer dude.
This is just to start: Dealer (talking to me and my brother after we just picked up from him) : Hey, you guys want to come party with me tonight??? Were gonna get a few bottles and shit, everyone will be burning, it'll be fun. Me : Yeah, man, you gonna be here later? I'll just drop by after band practice. (he lives, like, a block away) Him (randomly) : You got gas in your car? Me: Uhh, yes??? how come? Him: Well, I was gonna have you drive me around, and I'll show you all 6-7 of the places the party will be at, and you can find me at any of 'em, or I might be somewhere else, it depends. Me : --- Me : Alright man, I'm peacin', Ima gonna go burn this shit. Him (looking at the leather briefcase I brought to his place) : Don't forget your Prada bag! Me : Dick. ---- Him : Yeah, a lot of cops around here don't like me, from back in the day Me : You were a young troublemaker at one point? Him: Nah, I'd just walk up to Officer ***** and Officer ******** and look them in the eyes and say "I fucked your wife last night, and it was SHITTY." then walk away. ------ Him: I need five more (looking at cash stack i'd just handed over for a 1/4 of BK) Me : I gave you $140, I need $20 in change??? Did I count wrong? Him : Nah, nah, I got your $20, I just need five more bitches, cause the ones I have keep dirtying shit, so I need five more to do that sinkful of dishes. ---- Me (joking): So, since I'm gettin' a quarter, I get your Buy One, get one free special, right? Him (gives me the most serious stare for ten seconds) : You wanna get shot? --- I'll think of some more, were pretty tight, so this happens a lot.
I thought of another: "The reason I'm always late is cause I figure everyone in the world in 3 minutes slower than me so I take my time." Lolz
I was riding around with my dealer and we pick up his gf . First thing he says , "give me a cig bitch!, cuz I love u"
Shit I got a crazy ass story, so last weekend me an my brother went to go get a quarter from my guy, we were gonna meet up at the flea market in down so I saw his car pull up so I walked over and got in we made our deal, I got some good ass shit for 35 bucks HELL YEA. but anyways after our deal he saw my camo phone case and says "ay man fuck dat shit, I'm gonna go up in there and by the biggest basest cheapest motha fuckin phone case those bitches Gots" jumps out his car and jogs into the flea market haha
I was giving my guy and his girlfriend a ride to the movies so I could get a cheaper price and he turned to his girl andwas like: Dealer: ey, you're gonna dome me up in the movie right? That shit better not be toothy either My friend and I laughed pretty hard at the moment
"i dont do drugs, i just sell em" as he's lighting a pipe Dealer-"wanna go eat some pussy" Me-"i have a girlfriend dude" Dealer-"nah man not that kind of pussy, im talking about an actual cat" Me-"the fuck man?!"