SOOOO ive been best friends with this guy since jr year so about 5 years now and last night we had sex. i love him to death but ive never felt that way about him. its not that hes not attractive its just were so close. the thing is the sex was sooo good because we are so comfortable with each other we could tell each other exactly what we wanted. we had sex again, sober, the next morning... i dont know what to think or where to go from here. anyone been in the same situation?
Sounds like you have an awesome person that you could have a legit relationship with. I see no problem here. high five for getting laid!
...Why is that so terrible? Hes probably liked you for a long time. If so, kinda sad that he had to hear all about your past boyfriends...
Sounds like you two can be a good couple. I feel that since you're best friends, you two know each other very well, you are comfortable with each other, and it should be good. Just be honest with each other so you both know how you feel.
Its probably awkward. I know if I hooked up with one of my long time guy friends, I would be a little freaked out. You're changing the whole dynamic of the relationship. Plus OP said she never felt that way towards him. You guys need to just talk it out
I truly don't understand what this thread is about. So you had sex with a person you've known for a long time, and care about very much. Isn't this much, much better than fucking a random dude because he treats you like an asshole? To me, it seems like good solid relationships would start from two people who know each other very well, and care for each other very much. I've never understood why a lot of girls think that because there's an emotional attachment, you have to avoid sexual attachment. I don't get why you are ':/' about this situation. Is it because you are afraid you might end up in a relationship where the dude is genuinely happy to be with you? It seems like you are worried that this relationship might actually work out, and that you will just have a solid boyfriend for a long time. It just boggles my mind because I know so many girls have the mindset that someone they have a deep connection with is never a possibility for a long-term relationship. I envy your position, and hope that one day someone I feel strongly about can reciprocate even just a little bit of that emotion back
I have a friend with benefits, and its pretty awesome. Just kick it how you always have but fuck when you want. Don't let things get weird and it wont be.
I won't be surprised if OP is worried that it could ruin the friendship. Dynamics do change in relationships and should it not work out well there is the risk of losing her best friend. But hey, some friendships do blossom into some of the sweetest couples A solid friendship is an amazing base to start since as you had said you both are already comfortable with each other and less likely to have nasty surprises.
talking it out the net time you chill. I personally haven't had the luxury to have sex with my best friend, but you say you never felt about him in that way. Can you is the question of the day? Sure there will be crazy awkwardness for while but it'll pass over. best of luck hope t works out in your favor, whatever that may be
Naw, dood, girls like fuckin dudes they barely know, so when crazy starts to unravel they have good gossip to tell there friends.
@OP -I was in the exact situation you were in, i was bestbestfriends with this girl for a long ass time maybe like 4/5 years and then one night we were both finally single and we had some drinks and ended up having sex. Only several months of hooking up later I realized I liked her. ALOT. but one day she just stopped returning my calls and wanting to hang out abruptly, then i found out she was sleeping with some other dude. Instead of doing what best friends would of done, and told me what was up and how she felt, our friendship was clearly ruined. Be careful and talk to him or you might see the same fate. goodluck!
well some of that relates to what im saying but the thing that you have to understand is i love him but im not in love with him and i never will be and i know that its just not there. there are different types of love. i dont wanna settle for my best friend because it makes sence. i fucked up by letting it happen i admit that. The :/ is for im scared hes gonna want more and im gonna break his heart because i dont wanna lose him but im hurting him everytime were together cause i dont wanna be with him and he doesnt understand why. i experienced this first hand and my hearts still broken i was in love with my other best friend, we hooked up, i wanted more and he didnt but he still wanted to hang out 24/7 so i torchored myself for almost two years until i just couldnt take it anymore and shut him outta my life because being friends would never be enough for me and he knew how i felt and ignored it. i would never wanna put anyone through that. so knowing ill never feel that way about him im not gonna risk that he will about me and hurt him. thats why im soo sketched about the situation. i do appreciate your advice though and everyone elses. i just need to talk to him and tell him how i feel.
After the sex, he was probably thinking "She finally gave in to her feelings". So he probably IS thinking that you want a relationship, but just try and explain to him what happened. Seriously, I would appreciate it if I was in his shoes...as much as he may hate you at first, he will be able to appreciate you being real & not stringing him along.