So sophmore year (2 years ago) me and my buddy Fitz were late to our first hour. At our old highschool, if you were late to any class you had to go to this thing called Sweep which was literally just a room where you had to sit the whole hour, and you couldn't talk or do anything.
Well we were not down to sit in a silent room all hour, so we were like, lets just hang out in the bathroom so security doesn't see us roaming the campus. This is where shit went down. I don't know why, still to this day how it happened or why, but one of us suggested SHITTING on the bathroom floor. So we went in seperate stalls, and each shat. You will never experience true friendship until you hear a friends turd slap to the ground. The next day, the schools announcement went something like "Whoever is defiling school bathrooms, we're on to you."
A few months later me and my friend Tommy were walking home from somewhere, when a bunch of fliers blow by us. For some reason Tommy decides "Hey I'm going to wipe my ass with one of these fliers." So he wiped his ass with a flier, and stuck the shit side to a car. Not one of my proudest things to see.
LAST NIGHT- Me and my buddy Alex were bored at my place around 11 at night, and decided to walk up to the gas station, half-hoping to run into someone selling some bud. Well we get there with no luck, so I bought a bag of Munchies and ate half of it as we walked home. We got to my place to drop off the rest of the chips, and decided to walk up to Wal-Mart still half-hoping to run into some muurijuana. Get there, no luck, start walking back. This is where things get shitty.
My stomach starts feeling pretty turrible. We weren't even 1/4 of the way back home yet, and I KNEW the shits were brewing. So we start walking through this neighborhood, and for the first time in my life, I had to poop and I knew I couldn't hold it in, no matter how clenched my ass cheeks were. I ran to this grassy walkway between two houses, dropped trou, and shit. Alex goes "AY DUDE WIPE WITH YOUR BOXERS." So I did, which caused me to lose a fine pair of Hane's/:
I pull my pants up to like, underneath my ass and we start trekking home again. We walked through a park when some of the sprinkler's were going off, and Alex told me to use a sprinkler to cleanse my ass, so I squatted over this sprinkler and used it like a bidet. Honestly it wasn't bad at all.
Then we finally got home where I continued spurting for like an hour.
Don't be shy, everyone poops!