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How to pass a random drug test?! HELP!?


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#1
skokiaan

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Okay so I found out that I have a piss test tomorrow. I've already smoked today, just got the call. I've been smoking every day for the past 2 years. (Never had this happen before! GRR!) Anyways, it's not until 3pm tomorrow. Has anyone passed a drug test the day after smoking?! If so, how?!?! I was thinking about doing the drinking a gallon of water, drinking vinegar (ugh. i really fucking hate vinegar too.), and buying something like Omni (a masker). Will that work? Detailed instructions to keep my job would be amazing and thank you so much for your assistance. :smoke:

#2
lazytoker

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if it's not for probation, then they aren't going to stare at your dick. it would be against some kind of law i hope. so just buy fake piss, and smoke a joint to calm down =P

if it's for probation, good luck bro.

#3
brandonladd

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i've gotten clean with a ton of water in 3 days, but i didn't roll fire like every single day then. you're ONLY chance is to do a lot of research into the substitution method (using someone else's clean pee). If it's for a job and not court you'll be able to pull it off pretty easily. the basic idea is getting clean pee, putting it into a small container like a 60ml hand soap, taping it to your nuts to keep it warm, and putting it into test cup. consider using tighy whities instead of tape though because ripping the tape off HURTS.
source: dealing with a piss test every month

#4
skokiaan

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haha. i'm a girl, but i get the jist. so if i can't find someone else's pee, i'm fucked? and does it matter if i use dude's pee? it's for a job, not probation.

#5
brandonladd

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you are unless you buy synthetic pee but idk anything about that. nah a guy's piss would not matter at all and really it's not too hard to find so your main worry should be keeping the pee between 90-100 degrees. and that's probably wayy easier for a girl if you know what i mean

#6
Canadian1990

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You have no chance of pissing clean testable urine: either you will drink a ton of water and ur piss will be too diluted to test (which could buy you some time), or you get busted.

Your only option at this point is to tape a bag of clean (hot) piss to your leg

#7
lifeisbull

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fake piss is the best option, go to a headshop or smokeshop they'll have em

#8
lazytoker

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you are unless you buy synthetic pee but idk anything about that. nah a guy's piss would not matter at all and really it's not too hard to find so your main worry should be keeping the pee between 90-100 degrees. and that's probably wayy easier for a girl if you know what i mean


this person's right. start callin headshops and see if any have synthetic urine.

#9
skokiaan

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thanks guys, will do. totally didn't want to drink all that crap if it wasn't going to work anyways. :P i'll just bribe some clean pisser with a couple of drinks at a bar or something.

#10
brandonladd

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finding the pee is easy, you could ask a kid/family member/almost anybody for $20. my friend's little brother makes like 100-150$ a week by selling his clean pee lol because the demand for it is hugee

#11
Khalib

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urine luck works like a charm

#12
skokiaan

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haha. branddonladd that's bananas that he makes that much for pissing. i found the clean urine, finally. so should i use a 5 hour energy drink bottle? is that plastic too thick to absorb the body temperature? thanks for the help, seriously.

#13
brandonladd

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yeah that should work well. i know for a fact shampoo and soap bottles work so that should be perfect. get your donor to piss in a plastic cup and transfer it to the bottle for you so you don't have to handle their pee. after that have it warming to body temp asap. at a job related drug test you should have plenty of privacy to transfer it to the test cup. it's not as hard as you think you'll be nervous but it'll go fine :D

#14
Khaleefa

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wait WTF they watch you pee for probation? gayyy

#15
Guest_nwduckbutter_*

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Urineluck is detected in our random screenings. Depending on who you work for, where your piss goes makes a difference. I smoke every day and usually have 24hr notice to ua.


to the OP.

you will not mask or pass the test unless you use someones clean sample. If you get it the night before, just keep it in fridge. Take it out the next day b4, warm up to about 105 and throw it down yer pants.
I have a temp strip on my bottle, but @105F when put in, it was 101 like an hour later, which will pass. Its the same temp strips as the test cup you'll have to pee in. The temp has to be between 90-100 degrees. People may argue that, but its the fact because of the blending effect of the test strip, not showing exact temperatures, just rough ones.

#16
Guest_nwduckbutter_*

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yeah that should work well. i know for a fact shampoo and soap bottles work so that should be perfect. get your donor to piss in a plastic cup and transfer it to the bottle for you so you don't have to handle their pee. after that have it warming to body temp asap. at a job related drug test you should have plenty of privacy to transfer it to the test cup. it's not as hard as you think you'll be nervous but it'll go fine :D


I was shaking I was so nervous the first time I did it. After that though, I handle it like a champ any time I get the phone call.

#17
skokiaan

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Okay so I got someone's piss through the beer bribe and got the 5 hour energy shot container. worked like a charm. not the most comfortable 2 hour experience of my life. i had to drive to the friends house, then to my new place of employment, then the drug testing facility..which was on lunch so i had to wait another 45 minutes..yeah. not fun, but worth it. they didn't watch while i pissed for the job drug test. i even got to lock a door making me feel the most secure. i was so nervous that for a second i wondered "what if there is a hidden camera in here.." and then i realized that would be ridiculously high tech for such a sketch place. (are they normally sketch places?) the temp. came out at 98.9 which she looked at and said "perfect. :) we should have the results in a few days." awesome. thanks guys. i now know how to tell gals how to uncomfortably but surely pass a piss test.

#18
skorpyun812

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I used a very intricate method that worked.

Step 1 : stop smoking immediately. Some would say you need at least 48 hrs before pissy time but, I've done it with only 24 hrs to spare.

Step 2 : OMNI and CFH both work. Omni is cheaper but tastes nastier than CFH, but CFH also tastes like shit. Just forewarning. so step 2 is go buy either one of these bottles at GNC or wherever you can find it.

Step 3 : you don't wanna fuck this up so go to Walgreen's or CVS and get an at home kit for pot. If they have them, get the double test kit.

Step 4 : DAY OF TEST!!! Give yourself at least 3-4 hours before going to see dr, tinkle and drink bottle of nasty bullshit that's gonna save your job.

Step 5 : EAT NOTHING!! You can drink all the water you want, that's fine in fact, the more water the better at this point.

Step 6 : Piss two or three times and then use the at home kit you bought at CVS or Walgreens on the 3rd or 4th piss. USE MIDSTREAM PISS! DO NOT CRACK OR FINISH ON THE TEST!!! If your gonna fail, this stick will show it. If you fail and you only have one test, skip the following and read parentheses. If you have a second test, piss a couple more times and try again. (if you fail, you may want to start thinking of some good bullshit to delay the test like, your best friend is dying in the hospital or some shit)

Step 7 : If you've made it this far, I assume you passed your at home test, now go take your real test. CFH and OMNI are good for about 6-8 hrs after you drink them, no matter how much water you drink. I mentioned giving yourself 3-4 hrs before the test but if you can start firing clean within an hour or two, MOVE YOUR ASS! And remember MIDSTREAM PISS!!!

I wrote this to confirm to anyone out there that isn't sure about using Omni or CFH, it is a process to use these .... juices?... that yes they do work but, they need to be used with THIS process. I have passed several drug tests using these methods and products. I HAVE NOT FAILED YET!!! This process is also beneficial to anyone who may be going to a place where a security guard actually frisks you for bags or containers of piss. The CFH or Omni is desgined to turn your body into a synthetic pissing machine. It even has vitamin B2 to keep your piss yellow while you flush all that water through.

... or you could just go get synthetic piss like these guys said.

FU Q QUEST DIAGNOSTICS!! :poke:

Edited by skorpyun812, 22 July 2012 - 11:43 AM.


#19
up4dazes

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man I have smoked out at like 1am and pasted a test at 10am,, with just water,, drink till your piss looks like water,, drink that shit all day everyday,, wont have time to settle in your system never failed one! :o) o and take it ez on the smokeing ,, more than what you need is abuse anyways!!!


Edited by up4dazes, 03 December 2013 - 11:33 PM.





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