So none of my friends are really interested in enlightenment (and I only use the term enlightenment in a very loose and general way). I can have pretty deep conversations with them but usually that leaves someone there uninterested, and I feel like they never truly grasp what I am saying, which is understandable seeing as awakening can only be felt, not described, at least not to someone who has never felt it. I notice that the more time I devote to spiritual seeking and the more I seperate myself from the material world, the less I can relate to my friends. None of the things on my mind are relative to anything they want to say or talk about. Of course, we know each other very well so I can always get a good laugh and make them laugh when we hang out, and we can share cool music we find and play music with each other, but I feel like I am being held back in a way, because I have to revert back to a different state of mind to interact with them, and with others. I am much happier when I devote as much of my time as possible to meditation, yoga, reading, just being in a state of awareness than when I spend time seeking satisfaction through fleeting, material things. Unfortunately being in this state does not allow me to communicate with people in the way I used to. When I spend all my time meditating I am euphoric, but I just don't have anything entertaining to say to anyone. What is usually on my mind is (emptiness, observing nature, observing the human situation, more emptiness, more observing, more emptiness, awe, emptiness, all with an undercurrent of joy). I have no need for "entertainment" and thus I have no need to find "entertaining" things to say nor to listen to "entertaining" things anymore. I have found that all of those things I used to want to talk about and hear about were all distractions, because I wasn't fulfilled on my own. I love being around other people and being able to connect with them, but most people only like connecting on a material level... I can relate to people on any level but to entertain them (as we spend much of our time with friends entertaining each other through conversation) seems trivial, and requires me to leave this state of a clear mind and a full awareness. This carries into forming new relationships as well, even more so. I simply don't have anything to say regarding what the majority of people actually care about. And the things I care about, most people don't want to hear about... I also notice, especially as of late, how much every person I know and meet participates in psychic vampiirism. Everyone is constantly feeding off of everyone else's approval and seeking to gain happiness by bragging about something in their lives, in order to get approval and recognition from others, and everyone is both on the receiving and giving end of the spectrum. This is something that I just can't participate in... Don't get me wrong though, I love my friends and we do have good times together, it's just that consequences will never be the same. So I ask all of you, how do you handle your relationships in regard to your spiritual or philosophical practices?
I have the same problem. It really is a hassle. Like when I'm alone I am in a state of consciousness/frequency/vibration that is pretty high, just like you said. And then I go out on a Saturday night and my friends are all trashed and they do stopid shit and they aren't exactly the nicest people you'll ever meet. So to have to my vibration pulled into that very lower state is a killer. On my way home I have to like quiet my mind and almost meditate sort of to get back because I don't wanna get home and still be in that lower consciousness, I very much enjoy the clear state of perception I have most of the time. So I just decided to stop hanging out with then a much. I have quite a few friends online that are at the same level and couple that are on a way higher level of consciousness than me. So to have like-minded people to talk to online is a good filler. I mean it will never ever be the same as going and hangin out with friend IRL, but in the end it is the consciousness that really matters and online you can still connect with a person's consciousness very much so.
Well, if you just sit back and stay quiet and only chime in when the conversation gets interesting, maybe people will realize that and step up the level of their conversation if they feel like others view their conversation as trivial. Use their ego's against them. But at the same time, you don't want to be seen as elitist because that could offend them. Make a little game out of it... try to only speak in positive ways. Whenever people are talking shit about life or their friends, try to come in with a positive take which could shift the nature of the conversation. Don't be afraid to change the subject. I find most conversations at social gatherings to be be fluff... a way for people to pass the time to avoid awkward silences. People are probably actually waiting on a more intellectual conversation that you might think. Humor, as you've noticed is a great social tool. It allows for you to be positive and make people laugh, and they'll like that so they'll overlook that you might be 'abnormal.' But it's also great because most humor actually stems from a source of negativity... so, when you're in one of these trivial conversations, there's alot of material to work with. Just sit back and wait for your chances to turn the topics positive or intellectual. Don't just ignore the people you're with and start meditating or focusing on your thoughts. Be as mindful as you can of the party and conversation, it'll give you the best chance to direct the conversation and will give you more practice at doing so. The only way to improve at small talk is to practice your small talk.
..."And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes......" You are growing to a point that they are not ready to see. If they are your true friends they will understand that you are searching/finding your own Path. Also, try to search out a place locally where you can connect with others about the things that are important to you.
Under time restraint I cannot answer your question fully, however know this. There are many like you here sharing the same emotions you feel on earth. However awakened you may be, and however trivial you may look upon the actions you fellow man partakes in; remember this. You too bear the form of your friends, a wonderful human being capable of remarkable changes and adaptations. In what you have found through meditation and focus will come to your friends as well, however as infants must first crawl, then run, so must your friends in their spiritual findings. Love and respect them no different, for you too were once clouded in delusion. In closing, the relationships we have with others that offers us an opportunity to make the world better for all beings, through our words, our thoughts, and our love.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one. I've done the same thing, I go out less because I don't need others to feel fulfilled like I used to. I still chill with my friends once or twice a week but that's minimal compared to when I used to go out and do things almost every day. I actually learned how to form an aura in order to maintain the same level of consciousness no matter who is around you. It is in a book I read called "Science of Breath" by Yogi Ramacharak (it's on the web if you want a link I'll pm you). It is a great technique but it is built on the knowledge of the previous chapters of the book so it would do no good to explain it. It's definately worth reading though. Wonderful advice. This is exactly what I was looking for, thank you. I'll put this to use for sure. Yeah, they actually are very accepting of it. They just can't fully understand it and I certainly can't blame them for it. I wouldn't have understood it a year ago either... As for a place where I can connect with likeminded people, I haven't found one yet, but the internet will suffice until I find one. Well said, I totally agree. I try my best to help them along wherever they are in their own journeys in whatever way I am able to.
As you progress more and more spiritually, you may have a harder and harder time relating to people. Once you "attain the path," however, relating to people becomes easier than it's ever been.
yea I know about those techniques. I actually used to use it a lot but I started to forget. Thanks for reminding me. What colors do you like to use? I usually give myself a pink bubble around my self, it works pretty well.
I usually just do a bubble of radiant light. I've actually never done it with colors....indigo would probably be my favorite though. I'll have to try it sometime.
each color has a meaning...I assign the intention of the bubble as protection and then make it pink. Pink is love.
I have this same dilemma, only for me it's got to the point that I actually prefer solitude where I study various occult teachings and do my exercises and meditations, it's to the point where the rest of my life revolves around my spiritual practices. I can still enjoy the company of my best friend, because he too is into occultism and philosophy, though our philosophies differ to a small degree in that he's into Zoroastrianism whereas I have a Rosicrucian/Hindu philosophy, but Hinduism and Zoroastrianism are fairly similar, Hinduism is based on Zoroastrianism basically. But the rest of my friends just want to get high and drunk and party and fuck and I'm just past that stage of life, I find no joy in the things that were once my top priorities. I often wonder if I'll ever find a woman who I sync with enough for her to stay with me and be happy regardless of the restraints on my sexual life that are required. I would really like to have children someday, but in this day it seems impossible to find a woman whose not a sex fiend, who agrees sex should only be had as an act of love or procreation, and never just for carnal pleasure. I suppose someday maybe I'll find a woman who is also living a spiritually based life of a similar nature, but who knows. I'll just have to see what God has planned for me, he hasn't led me astray yet, although at times in the past I thought that God hated me, I now see how all those seemingly "bad" experiences were the best things that could have happened to lead me to where I am now. People talk of suffering and evil but cannot see these things are actually the highest acts of love when the Grand Scheme is revealed.
Wow, very true. I kind of feel like I am headed in a similar direction, a lot of times when my friends call me I would rather stay at home and meditate, or read, or take a walk through the woods, but I don't want to hurt them, we have been friends for so long that it is a bond I am not quite ready to break yet. I still love them as people and I like to be there to try to bring good into their lives. As of late I try to ignore the fact that their lives are based around video games, getting fucked up, and chasing women, and just focus on who they are beneath all that, because I have to give them credit, they are a lot deeper than your average person and they are very nice people in general. I am still pretty young so it is likely that one of these days we will go our seperate ways as fate takes us different places. I feel the same way about women, all of my relationships in the past have been so unfulfilling. I think that the "perfect" relationship with a girl that every man seems to search for his whole life is borderline impossible to find, and its certainly not something I am going to actively search out. If it comes to me it comes to me. There is a quote that says that most relationships today, especially between men and women, are like two beggars asking each other for money. It's two unfulfilled, unhappy people who try to get their happiness by feeding off of the energy of other unhappy people because neither can find it in themselves. I'm not really looking to be a part of that. Nor does sex as an act of lust appeal to me at all anymore. In fact I begin to notice now that in the past every single relationship I've been in has been me and another unhappy person (though no one ever really gives off the impression of unhappiness directly) basically participating in psychic vampiirism with one another. And now that I have all this happiness within myself, and I don't need to get it from others, my role in every relationship has changed, and I simply can't interact with people the way I used to, which is they way they expect me to. I do value them much more for who they really are inside, which is nice. I used to look at many of them as a means to an end in one way or another.
I need to try to find this article in a blog, it was an amazing read and it talked about the difference between loneliness that people seek to cure by relationships and alone-ness that is the essential nature of us all and what is necessary for true love. Holdon I know I can find this, I posted it on another forum, I might have even found it here. Well I don't know if this is it, but I found 2 that are essentially the same message Aloneness: The first lesson of Love | Complete Wellbeing
I was going through this for awhile as well and what you gotta realize is that you are in the wrong for forcing your belief system on someone even though what you might be telling them is true. Thats what makes this place special is that we are free to choose what to believe in( lol well some of us). Trying to force deep and heavy concepts on someone who is not willing nor ready is no different than trying to learn calculus in a day. lol it aint gonna happen How about you start genuienly caring about what they have to say and listen to what they are saying rather than waiting your turn to speak your mind about sumthing. There more than likely will be a time when your friends seek guidance on the issues you speak of and guess who will be there to guide them patience my friend
I agree with you, and I enjoy hanging out with my friends and I think they have some very interesting things to say. I really do like spending time with them. I just have moved in a much different direction and am at a different point in my existence than they are, so things have become different from the times when I relied on them for happiness and when I enjoyed the same material pleasures above all other things. Great article Tris. I read a very similar article a while back that really changed my life, and allowed me to accept aloneness. As a kid I loved being by myself, and I had no problems with it. It's funny that as I grew older I become more afraid of spending time by myself. Here's the article Loneliness It may be the one you were talking about, it is almost exactly the same, but it says it in a slightly different way and each hits on a few slightly different points than the other.
I think that was it actually lol. edit: yes that's exactly it, because I remember the question of would you ever want to completely merge with someone else and how we say "I wish I could be him/her" but it's not quite what we mean.
as a (very) amateur musician, sometimes i try and think of good lyrics for potential songs. one day i was driving to work. the morning sun on my back. i noticed how i was driving away from the light. i remember someone on here mentioning how enlightenment is there for anyone, if they simply turn around and look, or something like that... in terms of enlightenment, it's usually a good idea to go towards the light, not away. and that's when the lyric got me. "i saw the light but i turned and ran, i wanted to show my friends." but hey that could just be me, i want enlightenment for everyone as much as myself.