I know this is long, but I've been thinking about it a lot recently and need insight from people not close to me. (Side note, replace drugs with mostly blow, and sometimes e. Common knowledge that if someone refers to weed as a drug they probably don't do too many drugs, or smoke that much weed. I drop L from time to time but never in a social atmosphere) I recognize that I do too many drugs. Without trying to make excuses, I go to a small school where drugs are a serious problem (or maybe I assume they are a problem because I only hang out with other drug users?). Anyway, I had similar feelings when I left school last spring, that I had a problem. I could not go out to parties without doing some sort of hard drug. I felt people liked the energized, talkative version of me more than the drunken tool who couldn't quite pull off the dry/sarcastic sense of humor because beer impairs my ability to come across as charming and instead its just creepy and overly agressive. The bottom line is, I started to get more girls when I was doing drugs even if the girl wasn't in the drug scene (I'm jewish, I'm more attracted to the cute girl with a bright future than the 'hottest girl on campus' who has nothing to talk about. Or the slutty drug scene girl who only cares about drugs. Don't get me wrong, its a huge plus if they do drugs, its just, for example, in order to obtain drugs from me, a girl agreed to snort a line off my johnson. I'm supposed to respect a girl after that?) So when my grades actually went up that term, I was upset. I figured the drug use would affect my grades, and that would be my realization moment. But it made me realize I was motivated to do my work more so I could party harder without feeling guilty. Summer Break. I worked a full time internship while living at home. I was drug free my entire time at home. The two times I used drugs over the summer, was when I visited my friends at school over the summer. And I only slightly hesitated either time before eventually remembering how much 'fun' drugs are. Anyway, after going 3 months and only doing drugs twice, I was confident I recognized my problem, and had it under control. I barely drank over the summer as well, not because I didn't want to drink, I just knew if I got drunk enough, I would know how to obtain drugs and do said drugs. I felt confident heading back to school that I wouldn't make the same mistakes, it also helped I got with two girls on sober afternoon dates. Fall Term, Senior Year. Maybe it was the realization that I was in my last year of college, maybe it was simply the fact I was back at school, out from my parents watchful eye, or maybe it was the fact that a kid in my frat house started selling drugs. As a senior, I live off campus out of the frat house. I thought I was safe from the temptation. Turns out, even if you live off campus, all your closest friends still live in the frat house. Needless to say, I got back into the routine of doing drugs everytime I got drunk: wednesday through saturday. And it worked again; grades, girls, and I even started going to the gym. I realized I was getting bad though, because no matter how good things seem to be, its still an extremely dangerous substance, especially when your purchasing product from unreliable sources. so I tried to cut back, by spending hours on my work. Ultimately, though, after going a week with no drugs, while getting pretty drunk twice, I caved last night. Now it's 10 am and I haven't been to sleep yet. I know the lifestyle takes its toll on your body and its completely unhealthy, but, not to sound cliche, there is only one time in your life to do this type of shit, and if doing drugs helps me socially, why not? I also want to clarify that I don't really do extraordinary amounts when I do drugs, its more of the feeling of 'I'm sort of buzzed at 10pm and know a bump would get me going' that concerns me. Then 11:30 hits, then 12, then 1, etc... and a g is gone before sunrise. My question is: I know I abuse drugs, but do I have a problem? or can I simply attribute it to being on a college campus? Any insight or advice or even criticism would be greatly appreciated.
Idk man, some people will say you have a problem, but then again half the kids on campus drink four nights a week. It's not like "drugs" are any more addictive or harmful to the body than alcohol. It's a part of life in college. You're not going to have to the motivation to stop until the drug use starts affecting your life in a negative way. The key is being able to stop when that happens.
dude. take it from someone who had a much more serious problem than you: you will be fine if you recognize that there is only one time in your life to do this shit and that is college. that means come may, not one more line. after you graduate you will have far too much to loose. you honestly already have far too much to lose. one felony drug conviction and you could be in danger of losing your semester if you sit in jail just a few days too long at the wrong point in the term. just know its over man. and live that way. walk away forever while you can still walk. you do not want to know how hard it is to escape once the shit has taken over and you cant walk anymore. only crawl. ive been there and back twice since i started college except by drug is heroin and i use needles. i fucked off 2 semesters of school basically because i overdosed and had a seizure so they suspended my drivers license because i was scared to tell them i was doing heroin. they drug tested me but i just tested positive for "opiates" so i told them i took a few vicodin. i didnt want to lose my scholarship. i was so gone i thought i would get arrested or something if when i was laying there at school after coming out of a grand-mal seizure if i told them the truth. so with no license and being a commuter, i dropped classes. i later went on to lose my job and had to move back in with my parents for a little but unlike you over summer i didnt quit the drugs when i went home. and i didnt want them to see me strung out so i hid it well. and that in itself fucks with you after a while. just stay far far away from the hard stuff man. it can kill you. dont play with your life. ive seen 2 people overdose and die right in front of me. one of them whom ive known since the 2nd grade was revived almost 8 minutes later and remarkably has no brain damage. the other girl is still dead. maybe shit hasnt gotten THAT real for you. so dont let it. get away from the stuff
Take a look at someone who isn't so fortunate if you want to know the risks you're running. The guy who lost his entire future because of possession of one joint, the guy who failed a class because he was too strung out to study, the guy who missed a deadline because he was nodding. Yeah, you may feel like a pussy and you're missing out on something, but how are you going to feel if ### years of college are completely wasted because you wanted to feel good at one party? How you gonna feel working minimum wage the rest of your life when you could have been in a suit making bank? There's probably a good chance you could keep getting away with what you're doing, but you gotta make yourself aware that shit happens and there's plenty of guys like you that could've had it made that are now in debt, jobless, kicked out of college, ostracized from their friends and have a record. You can't always have your cake and eat it too.
I'm in college also. Iv had my times with a lot of different drugs and blow is in that list. Blow can be very addictive but if your just looking to have. Fun every once in a while, I believe its fine. I dip my nose in alittle from time to time. Just be careful. Try not to carry more than you can swallow.