So it all started last fall semester, on the first day of my math class i sat next to the cutest girl in the room. There was this odd "pull" almost, thats hard to describe other then a bug to a light, that was me to her. But me being a large vag with no game said nothing to her all year! (lol) so she quit sitting next to me and i forgot about her until the last day of class she gave me her number! (i may not have game but luckily i am attractive lol). So we started dating and it was awesome, we became bff's on our first date and for four months we were like peas and carrots, jenny and forrest (im high lol sorrrrrry). Buuuut then she randomly "broke up" with me for what seemed like no reason at all. She says its because shes not ready for a relationship, which is understandable, were both 20, in college, working and she has her health on top of all that to worry about (she has lupus). But nothing really changed, yeah we kissed alot less but we were still bro's and we still acted like were dating. Everyone thinks we are, we go on dates weekly, pay for each others shit all the time and just do alot of things that only couples do, and i dont mean neato sexual things but just neato couple things. And honestly i dont care that were not dating because we might as well be, which we talk about it often , why we dont date, how shes a comitiphobe, and how dating is just a title. So this would be great and all except this has been going on for seven freaking months now! ugggghhh and im going absolutely insane! This summer just the two of us went to my cabin for a looooong weekend and i fell in love with her, but even that was four moths ago. So i find myself in a bit of sticky situation. So i have an amazingly beautiful girl, who im extremely attracted too, who also happens to be one of my best friends. We just chill and smoke bud all the time and its fucking great! I never met a girl like her, to put it simple she's perfect to me. And the best thing about it is she likes me! alot! (lol how?) But i've been having alot of trouble with our "relationship" i want her so freaking bad but its like shes pulling my plate away while saying i can eat as much as id like. So recently ive been trying to pull myself out of this thing. Mostly because she is transffering like an hour away from me to goto college in a year (even though she already lives 20 mins away) and i kinda accepted the fact that this is our relationship, if she wanted to really date we would, and were bro's and i need to accept that its over and we wont ever really date again. So im trying to set myself up for the disappoinment thats coming next year when she goes away and try to detach myself emotionally from her and really become true bro's. But i cant! she's being forced into my life, she joined my piano class knowingly this semester and now she's becoming bff's with my brothers girlfriend and they text all the time and set up dates for the four of us to hangout. Just last night without even knowing it her and my bros gf made plans for us to carve pumpkins at my house. So they all show up with pumpkins ready to go and im confused as to whats happening lol So i cant get away from her and every time i hangout with her i remember why im in love and why i dont want to get over her, but shes driving me crazy. And i really dont know how much longer i can take it So what do i do? Anyone been in this type of position? Any advice at all? Thanks for getting to this point, and if you dont have any advice well thanks for listening, because it feels good to vent a bit. Cheers!
Dam that is a situation! Gl bro, only advice i can give is just tell her you love her and why you do; then go on from there.
read it half way and through it i realized that you want in she don't... the only possible outcomes are that she wants to be celibate?? ask her or she doesn't feel the same way about you which can only lead to you getting hurt and she moves on..
oh yeah i may have forgot to mention shes big into the celibate thing, which i honestly dont care and she knows that Thanks man, ive been thinking about that for a looooong time, and yea i do think its my only choice.
tl;dr If want sex be forward and sexxily aggressive If want love grow the relationship with tenderness and care. Let sex happen later.
its a wast of time to read, but not to give me half assed "advice"? Kinda self contradictory dontchya think?
you just gotta have a serious talk with this girl and let her know you feel...thats really all u can do...just spill it all out
Ok well real advice if you want this girl you gotta understand that relationships bloom from meaningful contact. Establish that with her by flirting with her and physicaly touching her. Not sexually but just gentle passings. That way she knows that your into her both physically and emotionally. Once youve done this and she reacts favorably its your choice how you want to approach the relationship. You can take it slow and take her on dates. Or you can move fast and have sex with her right away. Its all in how you feel but with her its all in your approach. If you approach as a friend thats all youll ever be. If you approach as a BF that she can get dates out of chances are youll have a sexless relationship. If you approach her out of pure lust chances are youll get a weekend lay or fuckbuddy. If you can balance the two favorable approaches youll have a great relationship if you can stand eachother. Fair enough?