High times with Joe :)

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by ixBeachbumxi, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. First off, id like to give a big shoutout to mairuzu for the idea of doccumenting your events while high. I wanted to do something like this for a while but once i saw his "highary" (check it out ppl its pretty good) all the pieces fell into place. What ive been doing lately is ive been keeping a journal via my phones drafts while im high with my buddys. Its pretty difficult seeing as im baked to shit while im trying to remember what just happened and writing it all down before i forget . So....just enjoy I guess, and again thanks Mairuzu for the inspiration.

    Entry 1, June 22

    Me and my buddy Tim just got done smoking a few bowls of beasters to the face and went swimming in my pool for an hour or two. He then spots my bike and flips and we decide to go for a bike ride down this hugeeeee hill on my road. IT. WAS. AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEE. after the bike ride i suggest ice cream, so we hop in my truck and off we go. i got black raspberry it was fucking amazing. On the ride home tim throws up "Piano man" by billy joel and i start jamming out (im always like that when high) and this is the conversation:

    me - Tim! im playin the drums man, play the bass!
    Tim - Joe....first off your playing air guitar, and second WHAT THE FUCK are we doing listening to billly joel?!??
    me - dude.......(this was a pretty long pause cause i forgot what i wanted to say).....u picked it.
    tim - ....
    me - ...
    us together - hahahahahhahahaha :p

    then on the way back to my house we are about to drive past our old elementary school when a genious idea happens. swingset. fuck yes. so we go to our old school and swing for a bit just talking about the old days and all the sudden an odd feeling hits me. not sadness...but nostalgia. it hit me kinda hard. here i am, an 18 year old on the verge of diving headfirst into adulthood and into the real world. tim seemed to feel it too i could tell. we both sat there for a little longer talking about the good old days, went home and played some super smash brothers (yes i know we sound like we're fucking 10 in this entire story lol) and then part ways.

    -End entry 1-

    Hope u guys enjoyed. ive got a few more storys for u guys and im going to try to stay up to date on this thread. support is appreciated. hell i bet if your reading this right now im probably already typing up more of my past few days
    so just relax, pack a fat bowl and by the time your done doing that...hit refresh and i bet another story will be waiting for you to read it :)
     
  2. #2 ixBeachbumxi, Jun 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 28, 2010
    Entry 2, June 25

    Me and Tim went to my buddy Dyls girlfriends grad party. It was alright. pretty hot girls were there and she had a sick pool and a bouncy house. so ya we were there for a bit then hopped to another grad party where there was a fire. mike jay josh and a buncha other ppl were there. we stayed there for a bit then dipped out after a while. i had two pre rolled fat cones in my truck so me adn tim decide were gonna smoke, get taco bell, then go back to our houses and chill. so we're at a stop sign and i pull one out and start lighting it. i hear a car behind me honking. i think "FUCK, WE'RE FUCKED" so i start trying to put the shit away fast when i see mike (hugeee stoner. deals too :D) and hes like

    mike - "hey ehhhhhhhhhh you boys sparkin up a bowl ;)? if u want me jay and josh were gonna go back to josh's and chill for a bit u guys can come. we got shit to throw in too so it'll be a good night."
    me - "oh hell ya man we'll follow you"

    so we arrive to josh's and we get in a circle on his deck. it was fucking sick. lemme paint u a picture. its around 1am. still pitch black out. stars nice and shiny and no breeze at all and no bugs luckily. we pass around both joints and mike packs like..4 bowls. it was sick. so at this point we're all beyond fucked. blades of glory was on though so will ferrell guided us through our high lol.

    at some point mid munching on goldfish i start to hear what they're talking about and have to pull out my phone.

    tim - "dude i bet obama has the best shit around. you only know that mutha fucka grows crazy shit in some underground lair below the white house."
    jay - "fuck ya man i bet hes got some secret staircase behind a bookshelf that goes to his underground grow lair....yeeeee"
    me - "....dude i gotta write this shit down this is gold hahahahha"


    alright ppl now...this part of the story was kinda hard for me to remember....possibly because the draft in my phone having to do with this part of the story is very random and jumbled up so bare with me:rolleyes:

    alright, so we were talking about brownies for osme reason and all of us start to peak. the shit we smoked was one of those creeping highs. like...it keeps growing and growing and growing and u dont realize until ur hit by a train. aweee yeeeee. so all of the sudden i start beat boxing (we're all white lol) and they all add in with their beats. it was intense. so we all laugh for a long time then the dryer goes on and josh jumps outta his seat and starts freaking out like

    "DUDE WTF IS THAT SOUND! GUYS GUYS GUYS...WE GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!"

    mike - "dudeeeeeeeeeeee calm down its just the washing machine mannnn hahah"

    so josh chills the fuck out eventually lol. he spilled goldfish EVERYWEHREEEEE.
    tim then says
    "i wonder what our iqs would be right now..."
    josh replies
    "low. (long pause) reallllllll fuckin low"
    me - "like..like mista solo dolo?"
    *we all found that hillarious and proceed to laugh like a buncha retards for what felt like forever. tim was making the most fucked up smile ive ever seen and i came so close to pissing myself. i litterally had to run to a bush and piss mid laughing. it was bad lol*
    i come back adn sit down

    tim - "what were we even laughing about again?"
    *more laughign*
    mike - "spode spodikins spodestermuffin chickennugget" he just kept going off i thought i was going to pass out from not being able to breathe

    jays leg then starts twitching wicked bad

    jay - "dude...is this bad?"
    tim - "your fucked man. your fucked. we gotta cut your leg off"
    me - "nah jay fuck tim. your fine dude just chill (he was freaking out lol)"
    tim - "fuck u joe!...u look like a chimp right now!...with a diaper!"
    me - "oh ya? if im a chimp u wouldnt mind me shitting in my hand and whippin it at u then right?"
    tim - "...please dont:("
    *even more laughter*
    tim - "are we on the titanic? i feel like we're bobbin up and down"
    while he is sayign this a mosquito is buzzin near my ear so i swat the fucker
    me - "fuck skeetos!"
    me again - "dude....we're fucked tim. how are we gonna drive home? u gotta b my second set of eyes and ears man. safety first then teamwork!"
    tim - " dude i cant see when im not looking" <-----------WTF?
    *everyone dies laughing*


    eventually me and tim say goodbye to everyone and say thanks for havin us. and we proceed to finish our original plan, TACO BELL! we go, order our food (we kept our shit together quite well if i may say so myself :D) and then we get back to my hosue where tims car is parked

    me - "hey man dont forget your trash on the floor"
    tim - "trash? i dont have any tra-" and the mutha fucka gives me a quick grin and bolts to his car. little bastard

    -End entry 2-


    more to come but my fingers are tired. if im not too lazy tonight i'll make sure to post more ;)
     
  3. man yall are some dumb motha fuckers....






    but i love it!!!!! that shit was funny as hell. sounds exactly like me and my friends when were blazed, just fuckin looopy retarted. hahahah. cant wait for more stories!!!
     
  4. hahah thanks man. good to know someone got a laugh out of it :D
     
  5. alright here we go.

    Entry 3, June 26

    A sad day :(. Was just a normal day nothing special. Pulled out my amazing homemade bong me and tim worked on (he just held it while i drilled but i give him credit for it anyway lol) and started rippin her. she was perfect...marybeth we called her. 100% glass. had been smoked by many ppl (20+ after just a month of existence) and everyone would be like "DAMN that thing rips good for such a small bong." i fuckin loved that thing...then i fell asleep. yes, bong in hand i passed out while browsing the forums. i woke up in a daze. trying to get my bearings i see that its 11 oclock and...did i put maarybeth away last night? shit. i start frantically searching hoping i was just too high to remember putting her away but...nope. my mom came downstairs to get a new thing of coffemate out of the fridge and saw her son stone cold out with a bong ion his hand. she obviously took it. so i confront her, she fesses up. i ask for it back. she refuses. just two mins ago i was like "mom come here" and she did "mom....can i have my bong back now? its the safest way to smoke blah blah blah blah..." all for nothing. shes just like "no" she knows i smoke. ive shown her that movie "the union" shes educated on weed, use to smoke. knows bongs are safer than most anything other than vaporizers and still wont give it back. meeeeeeee thinks that bitchasaurus is rippin it up in her room at night. thats why she wont give it back....bitch! :mad:


    -End entry 3-

    still bummin about it man :(. dont worry tho i WILL get it back. if i dont get it tonight i will simply refuse to help her out so much. i help her so much during the day and i dont think she realizes. so when all of hte sudden im not there to help and im just like "no sorry ma cant do it till u give me that thing back" im sure she'll be more than happy to fulfill my request:hello:
     
  6. do it man!!! gotta get your sidekick back!!!!!:hello:
     
  7. Entry 4, June 27


    TOY FUCKIN STORY 3! i roll up two j's in tims car while we're with andrew and ryan on the way to the movie theater. got decently high, but andrew and ryan were fucked. they dont smoke as much so they were pretty funny...that is...at first. so we go in and andrew says

    andrew - "joe....can u buy me my ticket..im scaredddd"
    me - "dude..................i got the golden ticket dont worry bro"
    *everyone looks at me and laughs*

    then everyones like "no joe but seriously...we cant do this u need to u got ur shit together we dont. please man" so i do:)
    i go up to the guy all cool and shitttttttttttttt:cool:

    "4 tickets for toy story 3 please"
    him - "alright that'll be blah blah amount of money"
    *hand him the mula*
    he looks up to give me the tickets and i go to grab them but he holds on tight. i look him in the eyes and hes got a big grin on his face. WHAT A DICK! way to freak me out man!

    the guy - "you and your friends-" *points to the three stoned fucks laughing like retards* "you kids enjoy the show;)"

    i guess he was pretty chill now that i think about it but i thought my heart was gonna blow up.
    so we get in and find our seats and the previews start. now...the beginning of toy story 3 (dont worry i wont spoil the move) has this like...mini cartoon in the beginning which is really random. its these two guys that are see through and one has night inside him and the other has day inside him. they do all this weird trippy stuff and the entire time me and my buddys were just like

    "WHAT THE FUCK!?!"

    so the movie starts and its good (GO WATCH IT!) and halfway through the movie i see andrew out of the corner of my eye being an idiot. the dumbass is standing there not giving a damn, flappin his wings like he was flying (kinda like in angels in the outfield) cause somethinhappened in the movie that made him happy. so here we are, 4 stoned fucks in the middle of hte theater, with one of us standing giggling like a retard and flapping his arms around. ppl behind us were just laughing and one guys like "sit the fuck down!" so i grab andrew and yank him in his seat. he just starts laughing. laughing loud. so fucking loud and he couldnt stop and everyone was getting pissed. i had to wind back and slap him across the face to get him to stop. *SSSSSSSSSMACK!*
    "ANDREW! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!"
    he wasnt happy about it but dude...he was making a scene. i enjoyed it at least :smoke:


    so, the movie ends and alls good. we go through the wendys drive thru and order a massive amount of food. we pull up to the window and the guy looked BAKED OUT OF HIS MIND. he looked at us (we prob didnt look too good either) and started cracking up. hes like

    "yo dog its cool im blasted too man:cool:"

    so we all just laughed about it while he handed us food and all i can say is...that chocolate frost was FUCKING DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    there we are, just cruisin back to our town enjoying our food, blastin music, and jamming out hard. we were all headbanging and dancing and singing....it was intense. we were enjoying our high to its fullest potential at that point and then, fuckin cop rolls by and all of us sober our asses up fast. i hate driving past cops high it sketches me out. them too. so we just tone it down a bit and still dance a little and then ANOTHER COP...and another a little later...and yet again ANOTHER. those guys were on the prowl! its cool tho we slipped past them (i wonder why there were so many out at one time in such a close area..)

    since my house is the closest out of the four of us i got dropped off first. we are in my driveway and i look to everyone and im like "alright guys wellllllll iiiiiiii gotta gooooooo"
    tim - "no shit joe why else would we be in your driveway"
    me - "hehe true:D"

    i walk inside my house and my mom looks at me adn starts firing up retorts and tries to get in my faec about being high but starts to laugh a little and has turn around so she doesnt start laughing too bad. she like...gets her shit together looks at me with a smile and is liek "joey u need to stop this..its..its getting...look just go take your shower:rolleyes:" SHE CANT HELP BUT LAUGH! bahahahaha. so i go in the bathroom and wash off the grime of the day.


    -End entry 4-

    more to come :). if not tonight then tomorrow
     
  8. damn right i do! who was i hurting with the bong? the smell doesnt travel cause i use a sploof and she knows i smoke and just is whatever about it so....i dont get it:confused:

    bitches be bitches:smoke:
     
  9. i laughed my ass off when you said he stood up and started flapping his hands like a bird. hahaha
     
  10. ya. thanks for commenting at least. the threads getting views but no ones fuckin commenting. leave some comments guys!
     
  11. Its good bro, prob too busy laughin :hello:
     
  12. I laughed lol
     
  13. Lovin' it man keep going!! Shit I'd do something like this but when I'm blasted I can't remember what happened 30 seconds ago lol. It took me 2 days trying to figure out how/when we walked from Rob's to Jimmie's one night. Then it finally hit me that we slept at Rob's....I was fuuuuuuuucked lol.
     
  14. got to jump in this thread too. Love reading this always makes me laugh. Its like a day in the life of an average stoner.
     
  15. Funny shit man , the flapping wings in the movie theatres made me crack up
     
  16. Yes this thread is goood
    please continue
     
  17. haha i tryed recording our high shit with my ipod but id always leave it in the room we smoked in for and hour, or in my pocket. but we had some succesful recordings of this one kid who never smoked being a complete dumbass. he admitted that he would fuck the shit out of this kinda pretty ugly girl. and then i drank all of his arizona hahah
     
  18. haha thanks for the support guys:D! sorry that i havent been updating it lately ive been having some busy summer days man. fun tho...and plenty intresting. im pretty messed up right now but im pretty sure i can cover the day after left off....hopefully. and also idk when it will be (soon hopefully) but when i do finally get to todays night i have a VIDEO of my friend wicked fucked and its hillarious. hes in a parkinglot waving his arms around and dancing like a retarded duck. fucking priceless. but ya sorry i got sidetracked. TIME TO WORK

    p.s. one more side note, i mentioned i was doing this to my friends and they said after the end of summer if i keep at it they want me to print it out into two books and give it to them so when they're older they can look back at fun times. awesome idea or what?:hello:
     
  19. Entry 5, June ...err....idk june something hahaha:rolleyes:

    I need cash for various things and decide i'll run to the bank and get something for lunch while im in town. So i go into the bank and take out $150. (now, somethin u need to understand is my mom is friends with this bank teller...i wanna say the womans name was donna? we'll call her donna.) so donna says "account number" i tell her "sign here" i sign on the elctronic pad thingy ma-bober and then she whispers to me while handing me the money. "here ya go kiddo i know its your summer after senior yr but try not to spend all that money on dope ;)" my fackin ma's been talking about me!

    -End entry 5-

    sorry guys i realize how short and pathetic (thats what she saidddddddd) that was but dude...i cant even type. that too kme so long and i had to keep re reading wht i wrote to remember.. damnnn. ill put them up tomorrow morning (hopefullly by then. i have some prettty stories."
     
  20. all ur stories are lies!

    i like them thou, subscribed
     

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