Comprehensive Guide to Pass a Drug Test

Sorry to dig up an old thread, but google led me here.  I like that you broke down the chemistry involved instead of telling me to eat and drink a bunch of shit because you read it in another guide.  I plan to use a regimen very similar to this, plus or minus a few things. Thanks a ton for taking the time to do this blade.  Much love. 
 
The comments here remind me why I haven't cared about visiting GC since I got on Reddit.  I would like to invite all the friendly stoners to r/trees.  You can find anything (and much more) on Reddit than GC has to offer, and the mods aren't ridiculous like they are here.  You're actually treated like an adult.  I wouldn't be surprised if this post earns me an infraction/ban.  Mods, if this catches your attention, feel free to lock the door behind me.

 

Hello.


Sorry for digging up an old thread, but I found the information in the first post particularly useful, and I wanted to add some of my opinions to what I've read here and in a few other places, in particular regarding the use of Bentonite clay.


My story... I'm an incorrigible stoner, smoking 0.2-0.5g skunk nearly everyday for over 15 years. I'm 35, 5'10" and 130 pounds (BMI=19 i.e. "healthy skinny"). I don't think my metabolism is overly fast, I just wait till I get hungry to eat, and I don't drink Coke etc. I passed a piss test in 11 days. I don't know what technology they used the measure the THC metabolites, it was performed by a hospital laboratory.


THE DETOX:


Day 0 - I had seven days notice. Finished off the bag (as you do...) and started researching:


Day 1 - No more ganj. Went to health food shop, bought green tea, lemons, milk thistle, bentonite clay, and psyllium husks.


Day 2 - first thing in morning drank 1 cup of green tea with half a lemon squeezed in and took an A-Z vitamin tablet. Took normal daily dose of milk thistle (spread throughout day). And between meals (i.e. twice a day) took level tbsp of psyllium husks and level tbsp of bentonite blended into full fat milk. I repeated all of this step every day afterwards, including the day of test.


Day 3 - sat in dry sauna for total of 1 hour. Came home and took 200mg of Niacin. Decided not to take Niacin ever again.


Day 4 - went for a 20min jog, probably about 1 mile. First exercise in ages. Coughed up loads of crap. Felt great.


Day 5 - rearranged test for day 11, went for same jog.


Day 6 - same 20min jog


Day 7 - same 20min jog. Took more like 15min this time. Yeah!


Day 8 - went to pub and watched rugby world cup all day - had many beers, this is not recommended as it distracts your liver from doing it's good work. Also beer/alcohol slows down fat cell breakdown, because it's full of sugar and carbs.


Day 9 - No more exercise from now till test! Took 2500mg creatine monohydrate (found in bodybuilder's whey protein mix)


Day 10 - Ate loads of sugary food (to put body into 'fat storage mode'). Took 2500mg creatine monohydrate


Day 11 - More sugary food, and also drank 3 UK pints (3x16oz) of Lucozade* & took 4 A-Z vitamin tablets three hours before. Pissed as clean as a baby on the 5th piss of the day. Was late because I had to get off the train to find a urinal...


*Gatorade is the US equivalent.


THE SCIENCE:


We all know by now that THC-COOH is stored in your fat cells, it slowly leaches out over time, incriminating your sorry ass a long time after you sobered up.


The less fat you have the quicker you will be clean, but you aren't going to be able to change that in a short time without a hardcore exercise regime.


Most (like 80%) of THC metabolites are excreted by your intestines (i.e. in your turds, not your urine).


The normal THC metabolite cycle goes from: Stored in Fat > Cholesterol in blood > Your liver > Bile > Small Intestine > Bile (And THC-COOH) reabsorbed into your bloodstream > THC-COOH Reabsorbed into your fat cells.


Your goal should be to increase fat breakdown, increase bile production, and prevent THC-COOH reabsorption.


Unless you are eating lots of high Glycemic Index (sugary) foods (i.e. white bread, pasta, chocolate bars, coca-cola), your body will naturally break down it's fat cells. This is good.


Milk thistle causes your liver to produce more bile. The lemons provide some of what bile is made from (cholines), and the cholesterol in your bloodstream provides the rest. The cholesterol comes from the breakdown of fat cells.


Psyllium husks (a concentrated form of soluble fibre) trap bile (and hence THC-COOH) in your intestines, preventing re-absorption, and forcing your liver to grab more cholesterol (and THC-COOH) from your bloodstream.


Bentonite clay doesn't absorb bile, but does absorb THC-COOH from bile, effectively cleaning it, and preventing the THC-COOH being reabsorbed into your blood, and making it's way back to your fat cells. (Bentonite is not digested, it just passes unchanged through your intestines - it can also trap other useful minerals - hence why you should take it between meals).


Saunas and jogging raise your metabolism (during and for many hours afterwards), this speeds up every process in your body, including the breakdown of fat cells.


I'm not convinced the Niacin did much, except make my face swell up and my body itch. People have different opinions on this, I only included it in this write-up to be thorough.


Green tea likely helps with turning THC into THC-COOH, so isn't really that useful a long time after you have stopped smoking. It tastes nice though. It also takes the edge off the weed "withdrawal". Don't add sugar...


Eat more (soluble) fibre: beans, green vegetables, pears, oats, all the healthy stuff. Sugar and Carbs are bad. (Your body turns sugars and carbs into stored fat - eating fats just fills you up, it doesn't make you fatter. - I have always eaten a high fat diet, and don't exercise, I'm skinny. The health advice from decades ago to eat less fat was quite simply wrong. You are overweight probably because you drink too many sugary drinks like coca-cola etc)....... LOL went a bit off-topic there. It's true though!


Eat more fat: This provokes your liver to release the bile it's been making. Avocados are your friend here. Mash them onto buttered cold brown toast with a bit of salt and pepper. Do this anyway even if you aren't detoxing! It's fookin' delish. Also, eating more fats will not raise your levels of bad cholesterol... Smoking tobacco raises this far more.


Don't skip the jogging you lazy bastard - it WILL make you pass the test sooner! Don't wait till day 4 to start...


Dilution is as important as all the rest, possibly more so. It can be obvious if you over-dilute though, so best to shit that badness out beforehand...


Creatine monohydrate takes 24-48hrs to metabolise to Creatinine, which is one of the things they check to make sure you are not diluting. Take it a few days before. If you are very muscular, you may have high levels of this naturally, if so, taking more won't hurt if you are diluting.


During your detox, drink only water/tea/coffee/milk, not fizzy sugared drinks, that shit is bad for you in so many ways.


If you have less time, or a higher Body Mass Index: don't finish off the bag, go jogging today! jog for (much) longer than 20min, and take more Psyllium husks (but make sure you read the label). In fact do all of the above more, except the bentonite....


(Probably best to avoid the Bentonite altogether if you have intestinal/digestion problems: IBS, frequent constipation etc.)


GOOD LUCK!

 

This is really helpful

 

For what it's worth, I saw the breakdown of my results... the specific gravity of the urine was 1.004 (i.e obviously diluted), it was still fairly yellow though. Creatinine levels were 48mg/ml (the normal range is 50+), and the cutoff point for cannabis detection was 100ng/ml (i.e fairly easy to pass).