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Funny Fucking Stories.


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#1
Jia-light

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One of my greatest stoner stories. also this is pretty funny.

just now my dog was dragging his ass and being high im laughing my ass off. then this shity watery shit sprays out of his butt. my dog got scared jumped up in the air and flipped onto his back landing in his own watery shit puddle. it was to funny.

Heres my stoner story:
Once upon a time there was a big fat gay man named flower. Sometimes flower liked to go walking alone. One day on one of his walks a purple balloon appeared above him. That purple balloon looked pretty fancy and so he grabbed it and rubbed it on his head and flower became all staticy so he had to tie the balloon to his finger so it wouldn’t disappear while he shocked his friend bear next to him. But then bear started to scream so flower asked him to chill out and gave him a fat sack of some chronic. Bear smoked it all and pulled out flowers hair cause he’s never smoked before and went crazy and popped flowers balloon and that made flower very angry so he pulled out his 9 and shot that cunt in da face. As flower continued his walk he saw some yummy berries so he went to go eat them but he passed a sign saying they are razor shooting death berries. He says fuck that shit and he ate them, anyways it turns out that the berries were magical and gave him super flying powers and he flew across the ocean, and he attacked birds and ate them until he reached the island of the forbidden juice. He needed this juice so he could refill his wiener to pimp all the ladies, but in order to get this juice he had to go anal.... so flower got ripped up and sucked booty juice for three years only then was he granted into the cave of ultimate Jerry wonder juice. And the god Jerry granted him power but if he wanted an unlimited supply he'd have to do three tasks the first task was giving Jerry a lap dance while he was feeding Jerry’s god dog some hot coals the second task was to play a sweet song that soothes Jerry and makes him happy but he has to do it with Jerry’s butt. The third task was to find a sleazy yeti and an oompa loompa and force them to have hardcore sex and create a wild off spring that will take over the human population that doesn’t have super juice. Jerry retreats to his room leaving flower with a scroll of tasks up his butt, but flower is constipated and cant poop out the scroll to complete the tasks so he pulls out his dick and shoots Jerry with it and steals the special juice. Then the off spring from the oompa loompa attacked flower and ate his brains that stole the juice for himself. Flower died. The end

Edited by Jia-light, 06 February 2009 - 03:54 AM.
ha


#2
Anony

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I got through the first couple sentences and laughed, but your wall of text shut off my eyes.

#3
boomer bumper

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what the fuck...?

#4
Jia-light

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I got through the first couple sentences and laughed, but your wall of text shut off my eyes.


Did you read the part where my dog ass sparayed watery shit everywhere?!
cause thats the best part

#5
Jia-light

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what the fuck...?

You like it.

Write your stories people!
i got another thread going where you can help build grass city's story
check it out.
or don't
i dont even care. haha:smoke:

#6
Chaohinon

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I went down on my girlfriend once, and she farted on my chin. That's pretty much it.

#7
tossablemonkey

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That story sounded like some crazy DMT trip hahaha

#8
suburbantoker

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.... REAL LIFE stories

#9
jointjitsu

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I went down on my girlfriend once, and she farted on my chin. That's pretty much it.



i wouldve given her a straight left to the vagina. or maybe a quick one two combo




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