Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology II

Full on dancing, huh?

One of my close friends has a "high dance" he does and it pretty much alerts me to the fact that he is, indeed, super baked.

It's not an actual dance really. He more or less just twists a bit while he snaps his fingers a bit. Absolutely hilarious to watch - makes me laugh every time.

 

When I was 15 my friend and I were chillin at his house and we wanted to get some bud, i said I would smoke him up and threw down $20, but the guy we called said he wouldn't come for less than $60. We were like shit. . . So then we thought we could just go to the bank and withdraw some money and it would work out. One problem, the bank is two miles away and it is pouring rain and my friends mom was coming back in 15 minutes. We were bummed because we couldn't get there so we thinking for a little bit and he was like "What if we take my four wheeler?" I thought this was a bad idea, it was 11 pm, raining, and we had to ride on the road so if we got caught we would be fucked (also this is a tiny ass 50 cc quad) He says "fuck you we are going" so I am like fine whatever lets go. So we jump on the quad and take off down the street. We were flying (for a 50cc) and when we got to the bank, we drove over a grass embankment and pulled up at the drive through atm. We took out $50 and tried starting it. Nothing. We tried again. Nothing. Shit what do we do? We pushed it halfway back and then by some miracle it started. The quad doesn't idle so as my friend is accelerating, I run up behind him and leap onto it so we don't have to stop. We got some bud and smoked that night and it was well worth it.

 

stoner mistakes are the best part of this forum. good stories people

 

About 4-6 monts ago i was just chillin and tokin at a bros house. It was like 1 AM, his parents don't know, and we just blew out the window. Anyway, so we're tokin it up and munchin' away on some chips. Now, we are both extremely baked at this point. We cash a bowl, and my friend grabs the ashy mess in his hand to throw it out the window, while holding a potatoe chip in the other hand. We start talking a little, and he forgets he's holding them both. So he puts his hand with the cashed bud to his mouth and drops it in thinking it's the chip. And I swear, it was the funniest delayed reaction ever. Just before he chews he's like "Wtf!?!?!" Spits it out rapidly, and flings that shit out the window. Hilarious

 

I had just taken a T break and my roommate and I were smoking a new pickup of some Sour D our first night down here this year. We go to hook up with some other people later that night and I go to grab the bong and pack it away and head back outside to jump in their car. I get to the spot and I fucking realize I am getting in the wrong car and these guys inside are like wtf is going on? So I get out and I see my friends' car somewhere else and them laughing. Dirty bastard came home and they were parked in his spot, so they moved. The cars even looked alike and were the same color. Whatever, I was high as fuck so I didn't care haha

 

I think among the dumbest stoner mistakes i have made, this one kinda bugs me the most.

Your Baked out of ur skull and ur craving for something good. You take the food put it in the oven, and await your reward. I wait, and i wait, finally i get up to check the food. Not anything close to being done. I play it off as my being to high to tell how long is has been in exactly. I head back 20 minutes later and still nothing. WTF! Then i relise i didnt even turn the oven on. Now i have to wait for the food to actually cook. I have done that shit at least 5 times.

 

The first time I got high - this happened.

I invited the biggest dealer in my town over to my house to smoke me up (she happened to be my g/f's best friend too). I was like, lets smoke out of my green, metallic, highly reflective pipe that you can see from 100 yards away, but the dealer brought her own. We smoked outta that for like, 10 minutes, and I hear my dad come home. Keep in mind he wasn't supposed to get home for two more hours. So we're like, "fuck!!!" My dad walks out the door and sees us. We all stand still like deer in headlights. He is like, ".........what are you doing....?....?....". And almost instantly, I reply, "Showing *bleep* our pool!!!". Keep in mind that this is october, and our above ground pool is closed. "Okay...." he says and WALKS BACK INSIDE. We keep smoking our bowl, then walk in the door. O shit. I left my pipe on the table, two feet from the door.

To better understand, I took a photo. The first photo I recreated was two feet away, and the second photo is 15 feet away.

P.S. My dad never said ANYTHING about it, in fact, he said that he liked how nice and respectful *bleep*, my dealer, was.

 

Me and my two mates (A and N) were in A's bedroom having a big smoke session, A went to go do something and N was chillin on the bed; all of a sudden he's like:

"Dude, it's hot in here", i agree and go back to daydreaming
a few minutes later he's goes again "dude, it's boiling, WTF" then he starts squirming and yelling that he's on fire, I turn round and look at him and proceed to laugh like I've never laughed before. The dumb fuck was lying on the on the radiator with it on full blast.

 

The single dumbest thing I've ever done in my life: 12/26/07 Approx. 9:30p.m. Me and my friend are high as fuck off my X-mas Oz. I walk over to this table near the back door and show him the the dried product of my latest batch of TriAcetone TriPeroxide. I dip my finger in the powder, walk away from the batch of TATP and light my Zippo. I stick my finger in the flame and we both watch as flames jet up in a miniature explosion. My friend is amazed.

10 minutes or so go by and we have moved to a small amount of the explosive on a piece on tin foil less than a foot away from the lit Zippo on the counter, and we take turns dabbing our fingers in the TATP and lighting it. If that wasn't dumb enough, I get the idea to warn him of it's power. I pinch a little over a cubic centimeter (Approx. 1.3ML) between my thumb and pointer finger. I hold my hand a little bit above the table (not too far above the piece of tin foil, incase I were to drop some.) and I tell him "Now, Don't grab to much. Like this. And don't squeeze it to hard." as I pinch the pile in demonstration. My dad walks down the stairs, paranoid as I am, I turn around swiftly to the noise comming from the stairwell. Which means not only my head sharply darted to the right, but my shoulders and as a result my arms do too. As my arms move my hand hits the top of the Zippo lighter, knocking it over, deflagurating the TATP between my fingertips, and blowing the nails and skin off my fingers down to the nearest knuckle.

So as my dad is coming down the stairs, he hears a loud bang and accompanied by a loud "FUCK!" Dumb suggestions were made to me like putting my bloody mass of bone and skin flaps into icewater, or touching my nose as a dare. Like an idiot, I follow. But a few weeks prior I had fractured my wrist in a skiing accident, so I had some Tylenol 3 on hand. I actually spent the next day skiing (as planned) doped up on codeine and bud (which i still instinctively held the blunt with my now bandaged right thumb and pointer finger.) The pain killers and the constant supply of powdery snow nearby kept my fingers feeling pretty good, but I burned my bandages with the blunt.

 

Last night I smoked purple kush and got the munchies and the kottonmouth. So I grabbed a can of soda and a box of granola bars. I ate 6 granola bars.

I found out the next morning that my soda was a SUPER energy drink!!! 12,000% DRV of vitamin B12, and 1,000 mg of caffiene. Got the shits from that.

And then I found out that each granola bar I had contained 35% DRV of fiber - that's over 200% of the daily recommended amount of fiber I had consumed in under ten minutes!!!
I have been farting all day and shitting like a mofo. Even as I type I am farting my brains out.

 

Livin with my parent's, decided it would be a good idea to smoke a bowl while they were about 10 feet from my room, and then hit the shower. So i smoke a bowl, have the fan on, window open, and hop in the shower. No big deal right?

BANG BANG BANG* My dad is banging the bathroom door "WE NEED TO TALK!"

And im thinking..."Oh shit...Im high...And he can probably smell the weed...This is NOT good"

So i get out of the shower. By this point im like shaking im sketchin out so hard. I go downstairs to talk to dad, and hes like "You left the headlight's on in your mother's car, the battery is dead, FIX IT!"

So, im like thank god! I go into the garage, go check out my mom's car, and the battery is fine, its starting great and everything?...

Just as i turn the car off, my dad open's the door and yells "IF I EVER CATCH YOU SMOKING WEED IN MY FUCKING HOUSE AGAIN YOUR OUTTA HERE!!" And locks the door on me. LOL. That fuckin dick. I had to go through the front door, and walk past him awkwardly.

 

Today, my carpets were being steam-cleaned, so my dad had to move all of my furniture onto my bed.

I wasn't thinking about how I have my stash in a secret slot in the back of a DVD cabinet I made.

I went Into my room after school, and one of my blunts and two porn DVDs were in plain sight.

Somehow, nobody saw..

 

So this isn't just weed but still a funny mistake.

One night I was at my friend's house with another friend and we all had eaten shrooms. So after a while we go outside to smoke out of his pipe. And it's going fine until they hand it to me one time and for some reason it just looks like dirt in the bowl. So I refuse to smoke it thinking they put dirt in there to trick me and see if I would smoke it, but they assure me it's not dirt and are laughing the whole time, which only makes me more suspicious. Well I finally smoked it and it wasn't dirt lol. Well I felt stupid but hey shrooms make you see things xD

 

Well a couple weeks back, on a friday, teachers from my school had read my myspace and seen comments from one girl who was explaining about all the drugs she does. My teacher then proceeded to tell my mum that she thinks im doing drugs. My mum doesn't think i'm THAT bad though.

So then I was working till 1am the next day, and someone from work got a message saying that his mate had a couple joints but wanted more to have some people over. I said yeah I got some i'll smoke it with you for like $5 each, they agreed, I rode down the road, smoked, came home at about 3 and was about to go to bed and was like oh I'll just check the computer quickly...
Well my mum walks out at about 3:45 and i'm sitting on the computer eating a sandwich. She asks where i've been and I admit I went down the road to a co-workers house and she asks what were you doing there? I answer that I had been drinking thinking I would get in less trouble. Well she has a go at me and stops at my bedroom on the way past, sticks her head in and I realise she would be able to smell the STRONG smell of the cologne I sprayed everywhere She asks me in a very odd tone 'Why does your room smell like this?'
And I simply reply ".... It's what I wear mum"
Needless to say, she had caught me out and gave me a big 'drug talk' the next day.

If only I had gone straight to bed...

 

I remember back when i was 15 i broke my bowl (my first one =[) and i made a ghetto foil piece with an inhaler chamber and was smoking in the bathroom. Now this was a very small piece, but it ripped as hard as a regular bowl. I torched the whole bowl and held the hit in for about 3 seconds. I dragon--coughed and it sent the bowl flying across the room and sends 2 bowls worth of ash into my eyes some bud all over the ground. =0. Had to clean for an hour ROFL. Good times.

 

I was in a car with 2 chicks and a dude, I'm riding in the backseat and were smoking a fine ass blunt I rolled. This chick gets the idea to go to mcdonalds so I'm all in. I'm smoking a boagie out front and was waiting for them to go in and order. She looks at me and I said "Hell no" I knew she was gonna ask for me to go in and order. So I told her to ask the other dude, he declines so I say I'll order if you get me something..

She was like alright so I go in and order both of these girls food. They're munchin out and we head back to the car. Now this chick is like "Oh shit did I leave my keys inside?" I already knew they were in her ignition so I looked to make sure and then started to burst out laughing. I told her they're inside the car.. She left the window cracked down on the passenger side and tried to get me to pull the lock. My arms were to big so she makes the other dude do it. Hes trying hard and his arm looks like its about to snap off. So she hits him and tells him to try harder.

He finally got his arm though and unlocked it, got back in and smoked the rest of the blunt. So kids, don't get stoned and lock your keys in your car, what the fuck am I saying, you probably already did.

 

friend and i were pushing on a door for a good two minutes, trying to open it, before i realized there was a big chain around the handles. so i try to walk away al casual, but my friend still hadn't noticed so i was just bumming out trying to tell her, but couldn't because i was laughing too hard. tons of people were around too. her aunt even talked to her as we were trying.. haha.

 

Alright, so me and my two best friends toke up like fuck, three joints each, and a few really good bong rips. Anyway, I'm dry (smoked my last bit with those two) but they still have weed, so they're awesome and let me keep all nine roaches.

ANyway, about half an hour later I am straight trippin, I've got to the point where when you look at something (after opening your eyes) that it changes dimensions and shit. ANyway, we start getting munchies, so we head over to little ceaser's to get on of those five dollar pizzas. It rings up like 5.56 and my friend asks me if I have a quarter, so I reach into my hoodie pocket where a bunch of change and my roaches are. I produce a handful of change, five roaches, a rubber band and a paper clip. I extend my hand ot the cashier lady and she just looks at me really funny, takes a quarter out, and I put it all back in my pocket. I didn't realise what I had done 'till we got back in the car and my friends told me, I laughed like a mother fucker then chowed down on some pizza.