This is not "Don't change yourself". This is "Don't change yourself for someone else".
The reverse of this is "You can only change yourself". Meaning you cannot and will not change other people.
Right, but if you change yourself for someone else, you may look back at who you were and realize you didn't like it
If you change yourself for someone than you lose your identity as a singular person, instead you become what someone else wants, and not necessarily yourself. To change for someone would be to change a part of your personality, if not all of it, and than you are just moving away from who you really are. You change for one person, than you change for another, than another, and eventually you'll end up being someone you don't really know.
But what is your personality? It is the product of your experiences in life...it is your EGO. It has ALWAYS been changing in response to the things around you, and gaining a new perspective on yourself does not bring you away from yourself, it brings you closer because you see yourself in a different light. You can't say you are moving away from who you really are because you don't know who you really are. You know what your ego is but that is not necessarily you. To be able to change for someone else shows that you are open to new perspective. I never said that you must maintain the change...of course you can change and feel that you don't like it - but to dismiss altogether the possibility of changing FOR SOMEONE being a good thing is foolish. Every human is human, in the end we all have something that relates us (mentally, not physically) because we are all conscious.
A drug addict goes about his life and one day his mother tells him he's ruining his life and he has to change, if not for himself then for those who love him. However the drug addict is only concerned with getting more drugs. He ends up getting locked up fro one thing or another...in prison he goes through withdrawal but survives and looks back on his life. During his run as an addict his mindset was that nothing mattered but his own needs, but now, looking back, he realizes that if he had listened - not only would he have been happier but also those around him. If it wasn't for his disassociation with drugs, he would have never gained this perspective and would have never even known that things could be better.
The analogy isn't great but it's kind of what I mean. People are amazing. If you only allow yourself to change for yourself, you're limiting yourself. To change for someone else lets you into a different mind, one that you could like or dislike. If you dislike it, no big deal - change back - you already know and are aware of how you used to be. If you do like it, you must question whether or not you prefer it to your previous mode of thought - but realize that you would never have even had the chance to question this if you hadn't given yourself the chance to change for someone else.
If a girl wanted you to stop smoking to be with her, even though she knew how much you loved smoking - there must be a reason why she doesn't like it. Stop smoking for a while and get closer to her, realize her perspective on smoking and then question whether or not you feel the perspective is valid. You may come to whole other conclusions from what you originally thought you wanted. But do we ever know exactly what we want? How do we know?
I have to admit, I never thought I would stop smoking...I love MJ so much, everything about it. A while ago I took my first T-break - 2 months - and it really changed me and how I look at MJ. It made me realize that I don't want to smoke for the rest of my life (for reasons I won't get into here, though if you want me to explain I will). The point is...I thought I knew myself and what I wanted...but I didn't, and still don't. Granted - I know where I'm comfortable, what makes me happy, etc...but I don't know EVERYTHING about myself, and if you claim to know everything about yourself I have to say I don't believe you for a second, whether or not you truly believe you are right in saying so or not. Change makes you aware if this - and changing for someone else can be just as profitable as changing for yourself - in the end you'll find that the change may very well be for yourself after all.