Funny stoned conversations with parents?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by roshiee, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. Oh man ...
    When I was a little shit, back in the early days of toking, I used to have sessions downstairs in the basement of my home. There was a cold room near my chill area (tv,computer,etc) so I used to go in there with my homemade bong and hit a quick bowl or 2 lol. Anyways it was a stealth mission every time I went in and out cause the cold room door had a lock on it and the door made noise when opened, etc.
     
    One day though, I went in when my parents were upstairs, came out and I always opened my basement windows to help air any weed smell out. This was done every time I came out. & my parents began to notice the windows consistently open all the time. Dad comes down RIGHT AFTER I got done smoking there lol (my mom was lighter going/oblivious), so I was shitting bricks inside and trying to act as natural as possible. He walks down the basement staircase and as soon as he hits the bottom, this is what happened:
     
    Dad: *sniff sniff*
    Dad: Whats that smell? you smell it?
    Me: what smell
    Dad: it smells like skunk 
    Me: oh right yeah one must be nearby
    Dad: why are the windows always open by the way?
    Me: skunks 
    Dad: why don't you just keep the windows closed so you don't smell it?
    Me: I like to live dangerously

     
  2. I LIKE TO LIVE DANGEROUSLY LMAO
     
  3. This happened during the early of 2014.
    It was 10pm and I was making my way home from my girlfriend's place. I stopped at the side of the road to light a cigarette, then I look at my fatty in my cig box and I was like "I should go on a joyride with nyan cat."

    Smoked that fat baby and I was HIGH. I can't stop laughing for no apparent reason. Even by looking at the other drivers I was giggling like a hobo. Lol.

    As I rode my bike home, I had music playing through my ear phones and I was head bobbing while riding. Halfway thru the journey my mom called up.

    Mom: where are you?
    Me: what!?
    Mom: where are you!? Why is it so noisy?!
    *paused awhile*
    Mom: HELLO?????
    me: I'm flying on my meteorite.
    Mom: WHAT?
    me: what? *giggles*
    Mom: are you on drugs?
    Me: *panic mode* NO! I'm just very happy. Talk to you later. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


    reached home and I was talking to myself
    me: fuck, where am I?... Oh I'm home. *giggle*

    I went in and my mom was looking at me. She saw my eyes were red and she questioned me..

    Mom: why are your eyes red?
    me: spray paint went into my eyes.
    mom: what? How?
    me: accidentally got it in. I'm tired already. Talk to you tomorrow.
    Mom: you're doing drugs aren't you?
    me: no no no. *trying to act all sober*

    Was gonna walk up the stairs and before I took my first step up, I fell down.

    Mom: what happened?
    me: nothing. Missed a bar.
    Mom: bar? What bar?
    Me: I mean step. I'm tired. Nights mommyyyyyyyy *giggle*
     
  4. She defintly knows you blaze lol


    Life's too short so love the one you got
     
  5. Yeah. I got busted once by my mom. Heck it didn't went well.
     
  6. Not with parents but my uncle, he has a little shop and I was working there blazed.

    Uncle: go get a box of ramen noodles in the storage, we've run out here

    Me: yes sir

    (I walk all the way to the storage, but I get a text from a friend and zone out while reading it)

    (Then after I finished I got back to my uncle and he was staring at me so I look at him)

    Me: ?

    Uncle: well? where is it?

    Me: where is it what?

    Uncle: the box of ramen!

    Me: oooh...(heads back)

    Uncle: what the fuck






    Sent from space using a banana
     
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  8. Mine happened about a year ago when I first started smoking. I had called my parents to get my postal code as I could not remember it.

    Me: hey
    Mom: are you sick?
    Me: ( snicker )
    Mom : oh haha so you finally decided to start smoking...
    Me: are you mad?
    Mom: I wish you didn't.
    Me: what is my postal code ( awkward laugh)
    Mom: ........


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  9. March 7th 2014.

    It was my birthday, i had smoked an enormous amount of weed the day before, but i was sober all during my birthday because i was out at b-dubs with family. Best friend was with me, and another friend who at the time was anti-weed (he loves weed now) So me and my friend acted like non-stoners the whole day. finally get back to my town after about 3 hours of driving, pickup my friend Zack who was unable to go with us due to lack of funds. Pick him up, drive out to our spot at the lake, proceed to hotbox my car, smoked about 2.5gs between all three of us. We're all so high we can't think straight, Zack's hat is no longer visible on the dash due to all the smoke. Blazed as fuck i drop off Zack because Brandon (Best friend) is getting picked up by his parents. We're all incredibly baked, i go to my house with Brandon, we fucking gun it to my room and i shut the bathroom door (bathroom is attached to my room via a door) Forget that i shut bathroom door, it's shut for about 30 minutes. Mom asks me if i'm okay and what's going on, claim that the hot wings gave me the shits. Open door and flee to my room again, Brandon's ride finally arrives he somehow makes it out of my room and out of the house without my parents noticing. Mom comes into my room about 10 minutes later, asks me if i'm sick, stares at me as i'm passing out on my bed, eyes half closed bright red and slurring words. Tell mom i'm tired, mom leaves my room laughing. No clue to this day if she knows or not...
     
  10. Came home stoned as fuck

    Me: whats for dinner mom?
    Mom: idk what do you want?
    Me: yeah
    Mom: what do you mean yeah?
    Me: Oh I dont care. How bout spaggetti (forgot to pronounce the g's in spaggetti so it was spetti)

    *10 second silence/ staring contest*
    Me: well see ya (walk to my room)
     
  11. I was hitting a light bulb vape.

    Mom: Is that crack?!
     
  12. I don't have a story to share...I've never been caught by parents or the police and I've been smoking roughly 14 years. But I had to stop in and say how much I love this thread!!! Too funny!
     
  13. One time me and my friends were smoking and my friends mom called him while he was in the middle of taking a huge hit. How the conversation went was hysterical
    Friends mom: Hey Max
    Friend(Max): Hey mom *extremely loud cough*
    Friend mom: what are you up to?
    Max: nothing, hanging out playing *long coughing fit* Xbox with austin
    Friends mom: that's fun, so whatd you do all day?
    Max: *loud coughing fit* had a test, think I did alright (this was on a Saturday 😂)
    Friends mom: Max it's Saturday today
    Max: Oh yeah haha i long boarded around town today *short coughing fit*
    Friends mom: okay have a good night
    End of conversation
    Needless to say, I was dying of laughter listening to him coughing after every single sentence, for some reason his mom never asked about his cough hahahahah
     
  14. My mom's already a pretty bizarre human being, so when I smoked at our last family reunion and ran into her, it was a trip. She was wearing these ridiculous, round sunglasses and rapping "Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat)" a cappella. Not a conversation, but the one and only high interaction I've had with a parent.
     
  15. When i was younger me and this kid got caught stealing candy from a dollar store.. I had to have a conversation with the store manager and a police officer while totally baked.. I kept laughing cause i was so high and the manager had a speaking issue and the police officer treated me like such a little piece of shit because she thought i was laughing at her.. aha i was just stoned
     
  16. Idk about you guys but when I get baked and eat around my parents I eat so much food and they always say something about how I always eat so much or how I would go back for more cause I got really bad munchies.
     
  17. Same here man
     
  18. "I can't hear you over the sound of you being a bitch"- me to my mom


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  19. I had been smoking in the house over a week while my mum was on holiday, before she comes back I decide to fry some salmon to make sure she smelt that and not the weed. She comes in (she knows I smoke)
    "Have you been smoking, it smells like smoke in here?!"
    "Oh.... No..... That's just the salmon, I cooked salmon so it doesn't smell"
    Then I just went over what I'd said in my head and was like oh shit this isn't good


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  20. Funny stories haha anyways mine happened a few months ago me and my best friend got stoned and then went back to my house this is how the conversation went:

    Dad: So...did you guys have a good night.

    Best friend: yeah dude it was totally...like totally
    She then proceeds to turn to me with a confused look on her face.

    Me:awesome dude I mean dad, yeah I meant dad.

    Dad:you two are so fucking high. I expected this from your brother not you.

    Me:sorry du..dad

    Dad:eek:kay so here's the deal, you buy me weed I'll go get you both KFC.

    So yeah it was pretty funny the fact that he doesn't care he just wants to smoke haha I swear one day I'll smoke with him.
     

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