Funny stoned conversations with parents?

One time me and my 2 friends came home baked as fuck. We though we could keep straight but we reeked of weed and my dads not an idiot. So my parents were talking to eachother and they started testing us kind of haha.

Mom - "So where were you guys?"
Me - "Up at andys"
Dad - "Why were you up there"
Me - "Just chillin with people"
Dad - "Who?"
Me - "Who what?"
Mom - "Who were you with"
Me - "I dont know what your talking about"
Dad - "Who were you with at andys?"
Me - "I wasn't even at andys I was at my friends house"

They were like oh ok, and left the room. It took me 5 seconds to remember that I lied to him about where I was and I was like oh shit. Later they came in and my mom who knows I smoke was yelling at me for coming home high. (my dad doesn't know I smoke).

I always get the quick glance at the eyes, or my parents walking towards me to smell my hair now. It's really annoying

 

for new years eve, me and some friends were taking a road trip thats about 2 hours away. we left my house and smoked 2 joints and realized we werent going the right way so i had to call home and have my dad tell me which direction to go and i just remember talking about how i have no idea how i ended up getting lost because i had made the drive before.
then after i got on the right roads, we smoked another joint and finally got to the city we were looking for and i had to call my friend to see where to go. he started giving me directions and i completely zoned out and all i cought from his directions was kroger. i hung up the phone and said "guys this ones gonna be all me" i took all kinds of random roads and found kroger and my friend came to pick us up from there to go to the party where we smoked blunts all night and drank tequila.
we woke up the next morning all hungover so we all took a bunch of adderall and had a nice wake n bake. he drove us back to kroger and we left back towards my house. we smoked 3 joints on the way there and got lost again so i had to call my dad to get the same directions all over again.
that was probably the most fun road trip ive had in a while.

 

Let me channel back to a year or 2 ago when i first started smoking...

*Gets in car*

Me: Hey mom
Mom: Did you have fun??
Me:................what?
Mom: Did you have fun?
Me: Doing what?

and all of a sudden she burst out the biggest buzz killer of my life (besides my hair lighting on fire)

Mom: YOU WERE SMOKING POT!! werent you??!
Me: WHAT!! WHY WOULD I?!
Mom: Why are your eyes red?!
Me: I have a cold!! (i dunno wtf i was thinking)

then it continues

*gets out of car and walks in house and walks into kitchen right away*

Mom: do you have the munchies?!?!
Me: *crunch crunch crunch* what? no!!!

*Hides food in pockets and runs upstairs*

 

Damn that sounds sick. Me and a couple friends are gonna take a roadtrip one of these days. Ones gonna pay for gas, the other food/snacks, and the other weed. And were just going to get lost and baked as fuck. Just hope to end up somewhere cool, see cool new shit, and find directions home.

...Yes, it was a high thought we all had, but were doing it by the end of the summer

 

My parents set up an "intervention" meeting when they figured out I was smoking back when I was 16. They got me home on the pretense that we would be going out to dinner.

Dad: We know you smoke marijuana
Me: Oh.
Mom: We're very disappointed. Get the drug test.
Me: OH-
Dad: We'll give it to you tomorrow. But for now, let's go get some food.
Me: So why are you giving me a drug test?

I had just smoked and was baked out of my mind. I had also just gone to the grocery store and bought M&Ms then proceeded to completely zone out at the register. The cashier was like yelling "Hello?!" when I snapped back to attention.

Now my dad and I regularly talk about weed.

 

well i was walking my dog and figured i'd take her up the avenue and light a jay. all was good, started walking back towards the house and then my dog sat in a puddle (small dog). i proceed walking towards the house and get in. and go to my room. then my mom comes in and the conversation goes something like this:

Mom: Why is the dogs back wet?
Me: i dont know
Mom: Was it raining?
Me: No it was just raining on the floor
Mom: what?
Me: (realizing what i just said) i mean it is drizzling out
Mom: oh, must have stopped now
Me: what?

 

*I make a call on my phone meaning to call my friend Kenny*
*Someone answers*

Me: Hey Kenny.
Voice: Huh?
Me: What?
Voice: Alex?
Me: Kenny?
Voice: No. It's Dad.
Me: Oh. Where's Kenny?
Voice: What?
Me: Is Kenny there?
Voice: What are you talking about.
Me: Oh. Uhm. Sorry. I meant to call Kenny.
Voice: Oh... Okay...
*silence*
Me: Bye.

 

Rolling Red & donuts, man. I cracked up reading those. Haha.

 

RAWFL!!!

That's the funniest one yet

 

i had almost the same convorsation but it was with my mom and i was looking for my friend katie.

 

Thats such bullshit. A couple of my friends parents do stuff like that. You admit to them you smoke and then they want to drug test you. What is that going to prove; you already admitted it.

 

that one is actually hilarious. I
t takes like every fiber in my body working in perfect synchronization to lie to my parents when I'm blazed. Its so hard because you have to remember the last thing you said because you might have to back pedal at any given moment

 

My parents are both ex-stoners, so I didn't get in any real trouble. They just wanted to make sure I kept my grades up and got into college. Which I did, and I'm sure they don't care now.

 

Way back when, when I was a younger pup. I came home and sat in the living room with mom while fully baked. We were just sitting there watching TV. Remember the "This is your brain on drugs" commercial with the frying egg. Well it came on and mom looked at me and asked, "Do you do drugs?" I just answered "No mom." End of conversation!

 

um..the extent of mine was

I walked into the house. I had been awake for 28 hours from work and stuff. My eyes were really red.

Dad: HAHA! Whatchoo been smokin?
Me: Nothin dad, i'm just tired.
Dad: Suuuuure
Me: Really. I'm just really tired. Now I'm gonna go crash on the couch.
Dad: Haha, ok then.

My parents don't really care. But I don't live at home anymore so I guess it wouldn't matter anyway

 

man i dont know, i probably would have just said yeah