Drug test substitution success story - keeping it simple

Hi everyone! Like a few other users on this site, I read about 100 pages of threads, sifting through success/failures of anyone attempting to pass a drug test using substitution (clean urine). I thought it might be helpful to outline my experience. I will keep it simple, straight forward & to the point.



Things I bought for the procedure:



- A digital thermometer

- A flexible temperature strip (purchased at CVS--I found this to be ultimately unnecessary)

- A 3 oz plastic bottle (I used a travel sized contact container, cleaned vigorously like 100x).

- Glass mason jar (think the jars one would use to store jellies/jams/preserves for my clean friend's urine--seriously, make it easy on the person you are borrowing fluids from)

-Hand warmers



Getting the temperature right:



Almost everything I read about substitution discusses the importance of making certain the temperature of your urine is in the "acceptable" range of 90 to 100F.



I practiced the day before the test by filling the 3 ounce plastic container I planned to bring with me on the day of the test with water. For me, when it was stored in my crotch area, the water stayed relatively the same temperature (around 98) and did not tend to cool off as much as others have experienced.

I used my digital thermometer to measure the temperature in intervals from 15 minutes to 2 hours. While I believe it is important to practice, I don't think that freaking out over the temperature range did me any good. Just make sure that when you leave the house in the morning, your sample is around 100F & that you can test in an hour.



The night before:



I procured clean urine from a friend. I brought over the small 5 oz glass mason jar. I boiled it in water and dried it carefully to make sure it would be as pure as possible. You can buy them at a grocery store.



I took the sample from my friend and drove the 15 mins back to my place with the A/C blasting to keep it cool. Stored it in the fridge until the morning.





The day of:



-My test was at LabCorp. I could choose my testing room facility. My advice if you live in a city is to pick a suburban location because the first site I chose was packed, and had I waited, I think it would have been over 2 hours. Too long to chance it.



I warmed the clean sample up while it was still in the mason jar by running it under hot water in my sink. Once my digital thermometer told me that the sample was 100, I poured the urine into the 3oz plastic bottle that I was practicing with the day prior.



Put the bottle in between my underwear and my crotch & threw on another pair of underwear over that. As gross as this sounds I think tucking the bottle up against your vaginal area actually keeps it at the best temperature. That said, you don't have to shove it all the way up there.



While I drove to the testing facility, I sat on the hand warmer.



Prior to entering the LabCorp facility, I took my digital thermometer out one last time, and measured the temperature. It read 99F.



Here's where things got hairy: I walked into the facility and found that there was about a two hour wait. Rather than risk my sample cooling off, I decided to get back in my car, and sit on the hand warmers as I drove myself out to a suburban LabCorp.



Once I arrived at the testing facility, they called me in within about 10 minutes. I was exceptionally nervous. Even though I had practiced a bunch of times, I still wasn't sure I could pull it off.



As it turns out, pouring your sample into the specimen cup is probably the easiest part of the whole thing. The nurse gave me a cup, I went into a bathroom, and she stayed outside of the door. I honestly believe I could've taken my noisy digital thermometer in there with me. I didn't even sit on the toilet seat, I just poured the sample into the cup that she gave me, and poured the rest of the substituted urine into the toilet (which had blue water in it). Don't flush the toilet but think about tossing some TP in it--that was one thing I forgot about.



Walked out, handed my sample to the nurse. She excepted it and gave me a bunch of papers to sign. I was so nervous that my hands were shaking, so I signed my signature as quickly as possible.



From the moment that I walked out my front until the moment I gave my sample, it was probably about an hour to an hour and a half. I believe that the quicker that you can get to a LapCorp facility and give your sample, the better. I also believe that while it is important to run some tests with the temperature, it's ultimately more important that you keep the sample tucked up to the warmest part of your body and test it just prior to entering the facility wth your digital thermometer.



I was called three days later with the news that my test was negative. I would definitely do this again, I think it's safer and more reliable than getting synthetic urine. Now I have a fantastic job, and I am still able to enjoy my life without freaking out about testing positive after 90 days. It really was easier than I made it out to be in my head.



A few extra notes: I am not a terribly small girl, nor would I consider myself fat. I am a little bit curvier than most women and I do run warm. If you are a stick-skinny woman, you might have to carry the hand warmer inside of your underwear. But for any of you that have a little bit more cushion for the pushin', I think that you'll be just fine so long as you have the temperature at 100 prior to leaving the house.



Hope this helps someone! Educate yourself before going. Try to relax, and keep it simple. No need for sewing pockets for the bottle into underwear. LabCorp does not watch you pee--they are not even in the same room.

 

Ha. That's fair wafdof. As I was writing it it seemed a bit much. But I mean, better to be thorough. And 420_rampage it's true! I have heard from many women that they jam it up the vag and I just don't get why.