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(No Sploof) How to Smoke Weed in Your Bathroom the Smart Way.

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by KreamAtNight, Oct 5, 2015.

  1. Hey guys, this is my first post, I hope you like it! As a highschooler with pretty strict parents, I've had trouble thinking of good places to smoke without getting caught. Here is my solution. It's simpler than you might think. I'm a pretty paranoid and anxious person and finding this solution to smoking weed in the comfort of my own home really has made me much less so because I know I won't get caught. It's pretty easy. Before you get to smoking weed in your bathroom you obviously need some prerequisites. Let's get right to it.


    Materials

    - Weed (obviously). About a gram or two. I store mine in a small, three inch film canister. Keeps in the dankest of smells lol.

    - A pipe or onehitter. Possibly a bong if you know you can clear the chamber in one go. I use a homemade bubbler made out of a tictac box and the two steel shafts of a Zebra pen. It's good because you can just fit the two metal parts into the box for travelling, this is important later.
    - A lighter. I use a regular Bic lighter.
    - Listerine breath strips. About a dollar or two in 7-11.
    - About 15-20 minutes.
    - Sweater with zipper pocket.
    - Bathroom with window


    <span style="color: #9bbb59;">Materials for The Paranoid
    </span>
    *I used this when I first started using this method. I now know it is unnecessary. But if you are worried, go ahead and use it.*
    - Sploof. Made out of a toilet paper roll and dryer sheets. I do not have dryer sheet but deodorant covered pieces of toilet paper roll work just as well.
    - Strong scented conditioner/shampoo.


    Actual Steps

    1. I like to smoke on the weekends occasionally because I have tons of homework on the weekdays and don't want to get shitty grades. Generally, an advantage to smoking on the weekends is parents will be more laid back and won't be on you 24/7 like on the weekdays. Use this to your advantage.

    2. Say you will take a shower and a shit. Time this when you know your parents will be preoccupied for a while and won't find it suspicious that you will be the bathroom for a long period of time. I usually say I'm going to shower at night when I know my parents will be watching TV for a couple hours and my sister will be shut in her room.
    3. About 5 minutes before the shower put all of your materials (except the sweater) into a small bag that can be zipped up. I use a Bananagrams bag. It works great. Stick the bag into your sweater and zip it. Take a towel with you
    4. Make sure the coast is clear and head to the bathroom with your materials.
    5. Lock the door and find a workspace. I have a wooden chair in the bathroom that can serve as my table.
    6. On this workspace. Unpack your materials and place them down.
    7. Work fairly quickly and carefully as you pack your first bowl.
    *My toilet is parallel to the window in my bathroom. This makes it really easy to blow smoke out of the window*
    8. At this point turn on the shower as hot as it will go for a few minutes until the room is pretty steamy. Don't worry if it's not extremely dense yet. As you smoke longer the steam will get more dense.
    9. If you have a vent in your bathroom, close it. This will keep all the steam and potential smoke in the bathroom, not your parents bedroom.
    10. Once the bathroom is fairly steamy, get near the open bathroom window. Open it about as tall as your head, right up close to it. Place an extra towel underneath the crack of the door.
    11. Take your hit of your pipe. Hold it in your lungs. Make sure the bowl doesn't cherry so smoke escapes. The lighter sound will be masked by the shower.
    12. If you've made a sploof, exhale through the sploof and out the window. Done.
    13. If not, don't worry, just get as close to the window as you can and exhale. Don't worry if you see a little smoke come back into the room if you cough. At that point the steam will do its job and get rid of the smell.
    14. Just repeat the above step as long as you want. You just don't want to be in there too long because it will waste water and look suspicious.
    15. Cash the bowl into your toilet. You will flush it after you shower.
    16. Hop into the shower with your piece. Rinse it off a bit to get a lot of the smell and ash off. Wet your hair a bit or actually shower if you have time.
    17. You'll probably be high by the time you finish shower. But don't forget this part. When you stop the shower set the piece down on your workspace, pack your lighter and film canister of bud away, and pop in a Listerine strip or two into your mouth and swish it around, covering your entire mouth.
    18. Pack the strips away and stick your bag into your sweater, zip it.
    19. Linger in the bathroom, letting the room get less and less steamy.
    20. Once its not as steamy, open the vent back up and open the door to the the bathroom a bit so convection can get the rest of the steam out.
    21. You will notice there is no smoke or weed smell in the air.
    22. Take your dirty clothes and towel out. Check for anyone and go to your room. At this point you'll be fine. There will be no smell, it will just seem like you took a shower.
    23. If you like you can drop a little bit of the heavily scented conditioner in your bathtub for good measure. Although you won't need it.


    I hope you enjoyed and if it worked tell me below.


    --KreamAtNight










     
  2. ^^14 and thinks he/she discovered pot...
     
  3. Or, don't toke in your parent's house unless they are cool with it......
     
  4. #4 jay719, Oct 6, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 6, 2015
    It's a sad day when you need a 23 step process to smoke a bowl lol
     
  5. hey man I just go outside lol
     
  6. Most of the time I take a shit and shower in my bathroom. Anyone else do this instead of a 23 step program to get high??

    Seriously way over thinking this.
     
  7. A book on how to smoke when your takin a dump if i was your parent ud be outda door
     
  8. I just opened up my bathroom window to hide the smell....


    Yes my parents didn't like it but they finally granted me permission
    to smoke. As long as i t was in my bathroom and not in the common area.




    Still, open up the window though..

     
  9. Ok so before I started smoking more regularly I was trying to find ways to sesh in the house without getting caught. Ofcourse like any stoner in a problem I went to grass city to try and see if I could find anything that would actually work or well like a routine. Like a newbie stoner I got caught but through the practise I think I've got the thing to help anyone in this scenario.
    First I would suggest two things before we start one that a pipe even though not everyone favourite way of smoking weed is ideal for smoking in the house n you can still get ripped but it's less messy than a joint, a bong isn't too bad but still isn't as ideal and efficient ( getting caught red handed with a bong is easy if ur dumb and it's not as easy to hide a little bong is practically like a pipe in all reality) and that your rents shouldn't be home but if they are, that they r like extremely nose dead not highly invasive so u can pull this off.
    Ok so first thing after this is established is that I think everything u need to be high with is in a kit like a lil pencil case or something so it's easy for everything to be in so u can jus pack everything up after sesh n hide in a drawer or just hide in ur Nirmal weed spot just efficient
    Next u get ur shit n it's all together go
    To the bathroom or any room with a window n a lock now u in lock the door and take a towel and wet it doesn't have to be drenched just damp n press it against the floor and the crack of the door.
    - people say turn the fan on when u sesh don't ur just circulating air around causes the. Smell to be distributed unless it's a fan pointing directly in the direction of ur window while u sesh so the air is pushed out with less circulation as a ceiling fan would do
    Now u can also put a lil bit of mouthwash on the wet towels If u wanna be really precautious
    Ok now that's done get a perfume or like spray not candle those good for after but r always kinda of an obvious clue unless u always burn them so I stay away form that Cus I don't but like a febreeze or sum shit like that n spray the like ceiling in ur room like I mean spray up towards the ceiling so all that air up their is more fragmented Cus the smoke usually travels up so I just do that n I don't know makes a difference
    Now jus sesh make sure I I,e close the the window n u have a strong blow out the in widow not time for smoke tricks n shit just make sure all smoke directly smoked outta the window n just spray both out the window n just quickly behind n around u
    Then jus do uuuu I always put on like a n alarm so I can finish seshing before then espically Cus I sesh in the bathroom so looks odd even with the shower on for like an hour but trust me I've. Seshed like this for hour n half sometimes just up u n situation n if its not dumb to b seshin or being alone in ur room or in bathroom that long
    Then after u done if u smoked all ur pipe I quickly rinse w lil bit of wate rn mouthwash its that serious n helps w the Dank n smoke smell form pipe n then put EVERTHING in the pencil case or pouch shit again or whatever n put back where u hide ur shit
    and if u used matches make sure and of the ash feel and jus clean that up with some paper n on the ground too for ash if u spit somewhere jus wash down
    And then just quickly spray the whole room like spraying upwards so settles down and then take ur towels n just like open it up and LAMAO fucking wave it around like up to the ceiling just to collect any smoke and just wave around dkm and then u goodddd make sure any window that was opened which was closed before is closed n u good and DONT FORGET TO BRING IR PENCIAL CASE IF U SESHED SOEMWHERE OTHER THAN UR ROOM LAMAO this happens n then theirs not point unless u hide it in the place u sesh
    Then jus kick it n u god ion know trus me this works for me n is jus so easy to not get caught it's jus the lil things
    For the wiedos : if it Danks even after this shit take some tea tree oil and I just like put a few drops around the room totally so strong it covers the smell majestically
    For anyone who actually needed help
     
  10. Ok so before I started smoking more regularly I was trying to find ways to sesh in the house without getting caught. Ofcourse like any stoner in a problem I went to grass city to try and see if I could find anything that would actually work or well like a routine. Like a newbie stoner I got caught but through the practise I think I've got the thing to help anyone in this scenario.
    First I would suggest two things before we start one that a pipe even though not everyone favourite way of smoking weed is ideal for smoking in the house n you can still get ripped but it's less messy than a joint, a bong isn't too bad but still isn't as ideal and efficient ( getting caught red handed with a bong is easy if ur dumb and it's not as easy to hide a little bong is practically like a pipe in all reality) and that your rents shouldn't be home but if they are, that they r like extremely nose dead not highly invasive so u can pull this off.
    Ok so first thing after this is established is that I think everything u need to be high with is in a kit like a lil pencil case or something so it's easy for everything to be in so u can jus pack everything up after sesh n hide in a drawer or just hide in ur Nirmal weed spot just efficient
    Next u get ur shit n it's all together go
    To the bathroom or any room with a window n a lock now u in lock the door and take a towel and wet it doesn't have to be drenched just damp n press it against the floor and the crack of the door.
    - people say turn the fan on when u sesh don't ur just circulating air around causes the. Smell to be distributed unless it's a fan pointing directly in the direction of ur window while u sesh so the air is pushed out with less circulation as a ceiling fan would do
    Now u can also put a lil bit of mouthwash on the wet towels If u wanna be really precautious
    Ok now that's done get a perfume or like spray not candle those good for after but r always kinda of an obvious clue unless u always burn them so I stay away form that Cus I don't but like a febreeze or sum shit like that n spray the like ceiling in ur room like I mean spray up towards the ceiling so all that air up their is more fragmented Cus the smoke usually travels up so I just do that n I don't know makes a difference
    Now jus sesh make sure I I,e close the the window n u have a strong blow out the in widow not time for smoke tricks n shit just make sure all smoke directly smoked outta the window n just spray both out the window n just quickly behind n around u
    Then jus do uuuu I always put on like a n alarm so I can finish seshing before then espically Cus I sesh in the bathroom so looks odd even with the shower on for like an hour but trust me I've. Seshed like this for hour n half sometimes just up u n situation n if its not dumb to b seshin or being alone in ur room or in bathroom that long
    Then after u done if u smoked all ur pipe I quickly rinse w lil bit of wate rn mouthwash its that serious n helps w the Dank n smoke smell form pipe n then put EVERTHING in the pencil case or pouch shit again or whatever n put back where u hide ur shit
    and if u used matches make sure and of the ash feel and jus clean that up with some paper n on the ground too for ash if u spit somewhere jus wash down
    And then just quickly spray the whole room like spraying upwards so settles down and then take ur towels n just like open it up and LAMAO fucking wave it around like up to the ceiling just to collect any smoke and just wave around dkm and then u goodddd make sure any window that was opened which was closed before is closed n u good and DONT FORGET TO BRING IR PENCIAL CASE IF U SESHED SOEMWHERE OTHER THAN UR ROOM LAMAO this happens n then theirs not point unless u hide it in the place u sesh
    Then jus kick it n u god ion know trus me this works for me n is jus so easy to not get caught it's jus the lil things
    For the wiedos : if it Danks even after this shit take some tea tree oil and I just like put a few drops around the room totally so strong it covers the smell majestically
    For anyone who actually needed help
     
  11. Roflmao

    Your post is what my wife gets as a text from her sister. I thought it was code so I couldn't read it then i got to know her a little better...she's just retarded is all.
     
  12. Mom let's me smoke weed in my room I'm only 18, she's really strict but she smokes so yea great guide though bro 10/10
     

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