Plot: I am stranded In a small apartment (HAB if you've read the book) with very few resources and it's either life or death for me. I need to "science the shit out of it" if I want to survive... Out of context: Im living that bachelor life. I live alone, (not made of money at all but very lucky with cheap rent) and go to school with a job. It's 1:00am Saturday night. Fuck sunday. That shit don't start till 8am. Anyways, I just got home from work and I just (this morning before work) bought this sick ass eight of weed called "White Widow". Now I get home and I eat my panda express, thinking about the sweet pungent aroma of thick resin frosted weed...anyways, I go to roll and I remember that I don't have anymore rolling papers or any pipe. Fuuck, right? Well, then I was stuck there wondering what the hell am i going to do, and a thought occured. Why not engineer myself a pipe or bong...now those crazy readers who read this far will be saying "duh jizz hole, just make an apple pipe" or "Arizona can man!" Or "make a gravity bong"...but here's the catch. I just moved into my place and I live on the 2nd floor, which means my neighbors can hear when I fucking fart; and I also don't have many of the basics (foil, scotch or duct tape, glue, any good metal objects to make a bowl). That sucks huh? I have all the damn weed in the world but I have no way to really smoke it (without risking shit) which means im stuck in my room listening to disco and trying to come up with what I can do. About 30 minutes later: so I decided it was worth it to stomp all over the house just once to collect any household items I have that may be of use to making some sort of smoking device. Here's what I got- -lots of weed -5 gum pack (empty) -Gatorade twist cap (not regular) -nail clippers -post it flags (little colored tabs with tape on one side) -unusable but whole 3 sheets of rolling paper -3 tier grinder -spoon -lighter -joint roller -empty toilet roll -torn novel -egg shell (bottom half full cup) -coins -plastic mechanical pencils -stapler (super small) -magnetic name tag clip (no nametag) -staples Im going to try and engineer a pipe or bong with these materials and I'll log my results in case someone reads this sometime in the future.
Status update: Success. Unfortunately I enjoyed some great dank at the expense of laziness. I used my rolling paper and roller (yes im one of those cunts) then I used a post it tab/tape to tape the old but rollable rolling paper around the weed. I taped the paper at the tip/filter so I don't gas myself whislt enjoying a joint. And enjoy that shit i did. Short story even shorter, I won. Fuck you gravity.
All in all, if there are any other sprouts out there looking to toke but you're in one fuck of a pinch, dont give up! There may be hope. The worst is that you might die inside for the night. But then you will wake up in the morning where there will always be other options. Unless you're in a cell, in which case im sure you could've made a shank out of toilet paper and determination....anyways, if you do find yourself in a tight ass pinch just remember that really (I mean super bullshite) mundane household objects could be the vessel used to get the weed from crop to bread.
She's stitched together but I will soon bath this joint in a fire that reaches a tropical 3500 degrees Fahrenheit
I came across this thread and read it all, its just one guy telling everyone how he has nothing to smoke from so he makes himself something. I laughed my ass off reading it, maybe this should be the plot of the Martian.