Recently I regrouped with some old friends and made a new one. The new one happens to be a long time friends boyfriend. We got surprisingly close fast and began clubbing together and hanging out almost every week for a few days sleeping over at each other's place for days on end. He doesn't have a lot of money so I would usually smoke us out every night, which I had no problem with because he would get me into clubs for free and free alcohol. Unfortunately, I did began to catch some feelings for this guy and again, unfortunately, got too drunk and told a mutual friend of ours. He didn't care, surprisingly, it was the mutual friend, not even his gf, who was the most bothered. Another piece of info I should probably include is me and this guy have had a few fights that turned ugly, and it seems like things are okay, but every once in a while we'll smoke or even be sober and just chilling and things seem a little awkward. Anyways, in this group of 4 friends, a lot of the time the other 3 are together without me. It may be the way it works out, but sometimes I can't help to feel left out. I'm sure (I would hope atleast) that they do not do this to make me upset, but it sure does seem like it. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Should I voice how I feel about being left out? I'm pretty good friends with all of them, it just seems like most of the time they are together and I am not put into the equation. I don't know. *edit This post literally has nothing to do with being gay or liking him whatsoever lol. Throw something in there about gay and it's all people care about I guess. I'm asking if anyone has ever been in a similiar situation where they have felt left out but do not want to make it obvious they are hurt. Jesus this place makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I would tell them if you were feeling left out but make it not like a big deal, just say something like "hey i'm not sure if this is intentional or not but i feel like we haven't all been hanging out together like we used to and just wondered if something is up?" P.S: are you a girl or a guy (doesn't really matter i'm just curious).
that's a good idea .. Regardless of what I said I exactly do not want to make it obvious I'm a little bothered. I'm a guy and from the minute I met I made it clear I was bisexual and it has never been a problem and I know it is still not. It has never harmed our relationship. Shit we still sleep in the same bed every time we chill he knows I think he's attractive but he's very focused on his gf.
That's cute haha, well I hope everything works out for you man and who knows maybe his gf will dump him and he will wanna date you lolol
You would essentially be asking this person to choose sides, since the GF will be pre-disposed to not having you around since you've admitted you like him and have kind of chilled with this person without the GF present which is a no-no if everyone knows you like that person.. I am sure you can still be included in that social circle, but let's face it, you have a vagina, you have social value whether you like it or not, i am sure you can be included in another circle if you feel out of place. Personally i think being apart of a single circle is very base and boring, since said circles are usually doing the same things all the time. Alright, there's my great advice, you can repay me with boob pics.
Sorry if I get it a bit mixed up here, but I think I understand what you're saying. That does sound like a pretty awkward position to be in. The heart wants what the heart wants, but the thing about that is the heart wants lots of things. This guy isn't going to be the last guy you ever meet that you like. You might have to ask yourself if you care more about trying to be with this guy, or if you would rather just be his friend and be included in this circle of friends. I have had to fake smiles and tell people I just wanted to be friends for my other friends' sakes. Fun thing about being bi is you end up feeling attractions for many people you get close to. Some people just can't tell the difference between feeling attraction to someone and actually wanting to make a move. Sounds like his girlfriend does, at least, if she's not mad about it. Maybe she knows this friend is straight and loyal. I'm not understanding something, though. Is this mutual friend bothered by the fact that you like this other guy specifically, or is he uncomfortable knowing that you're not straight? I don't make time for people who are so closed off they can't even accept other people being different and also in the same room. Also, if we could have an elaboration on some of these arguments, maybe we could figure out what exactly, if anything, makes you feel left out. I've felt left out of groups of friends before only to realize it was because I was way too busy with my own feelings and started making more time to hang out.
Title of this thread is 'Does anyone else ever feel this way'. All I did was answer. Why so defensive? Gosh.
you hit this right on the head. The mutual friend is a girl aswell and we personally think she just gets jealous I spend a lot of time with him. After all, this girl found this guy and introduced him to all of us including his current gf. They all know my orientation and have no problem with it, the 3 of us (me and the 2 girls) have known each other since kindergarten, 1 of them even before that. The arguments were nights where I was beyond wasted and just said shit like "I don't like you, your friends don't, your gf doesn't. You're broke, pathetic, get a job" just dumb shit trying to offend him. Which brings me to another point, another reason I get so upset/offended when I'm not included. I have spent atleast $1000 paying for this guy over the summer. And NO, not because I like him, not at all, but because he is struggling and 21 and living 1000's miles away from home in a big city (NYC) so I couldn't help but feel bad for him. I payed for most of his stuff every time I was with him, which is just kinda why I'm upset. I've also let him stay at my place weeks on end, took my moms shit because we would come into the house at 4 am usually not sober. I've done a lot for him and I have no problem, I'd just like to see some appreciation, from all of them.. I love them all dearly I just don't always feel it back.
you made a pretty snotty remark that was not relevant, was a little offensive, and didn't even summarize my post. It was rude and I really don't care, because you in the end look stupid.
again, you're fucking ignorant lmfao. I literally wrote "I don't care". Yes, I'm so triggered. Raging bro
The mutual friend may like him too and is upset that he has a girlfriend, and now you have a crush as well. She may just be reacting defensively. Or maybe she feels under appreciated for her contributions to the group. Not to suggest you haven't contributed, it just sounds to me like a lot of feelings are being kept quiet here. In a group with women, gays and stoners I'm a bit surprised that more feelings aren't being shared. I remember my main group of friends back home are all straight guys who talk more about football than feelings. Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to the wall and they just think I'm bitchy. Honesty can be very important. Maybe you should bring it up. I've learned that friendships are not hard to maintain, they just get a little bumpy at times. If everyone is honest and caring, willing to work for the friendship they all have cherished for so long, and make an actual effort to get these issues out on the table and then work together to fix them, then nothing can stop you from becoming the best of friends. Everyone just needs to simply understand each other. You have a beautiful thing going, knowing these people for so long. You might have to fight for it. Try not to feel awkward about speaking out about this either. If it helps, talk to the friend you relate to the most and try to get him/her on your side beforehand. Express that your only interest is for the good of the group and that you just want everyone to be more honest about how they feel. Then issues can be addressed and corrected. I promise, unless they are all a bunch of dense mother fuckers (like my friends) your friendship will flourish. EDIT: Also, stop feeding the trolls.
I'm sorry but this sentence made me laugh out loud hahahaha... What do you think of this though? - http://www.buzzfeed.com/gabrielr13/25-things-only-butch-gay-men-will-understand-ip6d#.arpwVn7QZ