Need your advice

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by Inexpsyphy, Aug 27, 2015.

  1. Hey. I've an issue and am looking for a good discussion and perhaps a
    change in perspective. Here's what's up: basically, I know my girlfriend
    is cheating. I went onto her computer after having reason to be
    suspicious and found texts from over a year which have context that
    describe her relation with this other guy. The problem is, he's been
    around, texting her for longer than I've been going out with her. Some
    of the texts, time-stamped, bordered into the dates in which we were
    together and were very explicit and sexual. I confronted her and she
    said he was an old friend and it was an inside joke between them two
    since he is gay. I have trouble believing that. She said she confronted
    him about it as to whether he was getting off on it. Apparently he
    responded in a defensive matter and she claims to have cut off ties with
    this old, "gay" friend in order to please me. My mind is still at
    unease. Should I forgive her?

    Does any girl here reading send
    sexual texts to their gay friends as an inside joke? Can anyone relate
    to this? I don't see how a gay man would want to talk sexually with
    another woman, even as a joke. Perhaps I'm being over-protective. It
    makes me uncomfortable to think that she sends him the same private
    photos as she sends me as an "inside joke". Pretty demeaning. Thoughts
    are appreciated.
     
  2. I would be more concerned about her sending private pics of you to her gay friend.
    As flattering as that may be.i wouldn't be comfy with a guy wanking over my pic lol
     
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  3. I'm more concerned that you violated her privacy. You should have just asked her, mate Going into someone else's phone or computer to check up on them is not so cool. It's wrong. I wouldn't be with someone who violated my privacy that way. I think that's what you've got to worry about- you're not trustworthy.
     
  4. I had cause for suspicion and it was innocent. I wasn't going through her documents, taxes, etc. I was just looking for anything that looked disloyal and untrustworthy on her end.

    She says the guy is gay and has cut ties; but she was talking very explicitly apparently not knowing he was just using her to get off. She states that the way she was talking with him was an "inside joke" between the two even while they would exchange pictures of them with shirts off, in bathing suits, etc.

    She's done a lot to show she cares and loves me. She emails and texts and calls all the time. She expresses her love for me. She has said sorry for this and claims to have cut ties. I just wonder if I'm going to be dooped again. She's accused me of cheating and using her with no prior evidence or reason to and I think it's because she has a guilty conscious.

    Shit's confusing. Only time will tell I guess. Any advice is appreciated, regardless.










     
  5. I'm more interested to see if any girls here on GC will joke around with their gay friends by talking sexually, knowing that neither of you have an interest in each other. Is that where the joke originates? Knowing that neither of you would fuck each other? Is that what makes it funny?

    Shit's hard to understand.

     
  6. Trust me man, seen this a good amount of times to make me believe this, but the gay thing is total bullshit and if she is cheating it's the easiest thing to say to get away with what she wants (hooking up). I'd drop her man, don't take less than what you deserve and that's a faithful person who you DONT have to confront over things like this.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. I'm sure you'd be able to tell if it was a joke just by reading the conversation, if there's no lol's or haha's and seems serious obviously it's not a joke.
     
  8. This is the sign of a cheater. Also her accusation against you that was not warranted totally fits the profile for somebody who is feeling guilt and needs to project that guilt onto another person.


    Not saying if she does keep in contact constantly it is a super bad thing, but needing to know your location constantly is the mark of the cheater.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Drop the whore an get a non whore.
    I hear ya man pussey is powerful and tuff to give up especially if she is living with you gettin ass every night is awesome
     
  10. #10 Carne Seca, Aug 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2015
    Yes, gay guys will have explicit sexual conversations with their gal pals. I do it all the time. I've sent sexy pics and and received them. We're just having fun. I can see where a boyfriend might get jealous. But the jealousy should end with the word, gay.


    Like a previous poster said, I'm a little concerned at your snooping. Instead of invading her privacy (which is not your right no matter how close you two are) you should have just asked. I don't see a lot of reasons for you two to stay together if you need to investigate her past to current relationships. This is no way keep a long term relationship. Either you trust or you don't. Pick one and then make a decision. Dragging this out is only going to damage the both of you.
     
  11. It shouldnt go that far. If she is acting in a manor that makes you feel that you need to investigate her then dump her now and save yourself the trouble. If she would rather send sexual text to other people that be involved with you then find someone else, it isnt that hard.
     
  12. Them hoes ain't loyal, bruh.
     
  13. She's lying like a rug bro
     
  14. Can you tell me how this works for you and your friends? As you can tell, I'm not gay nor a woman so your input is highly appreciated and will help me understand this. Thanks man.

     
  15. #15 Inexpsyphy, Aug 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2015
    As for snooping through her things I did it because when you love someone and you're afraid they're being disloyal you need clarification before you try to move on. At least this is the way I feel. I wasn't being a paranoid control freak or anything... just needed answers that wouldn't be easy to get from her. I was really drunk and we just got into a fight too so I wasn't in the best state of mind. Anyways, I wasn't always snooping but she was acting odd so I needed proof. I found this. She has tried over and over to explain it to me and has been brought to tears. She even drove a few hours to my location with a broken foot because I moved and she missed me. I don't make much money but I'm a good lover... I think that's why she sticks around. She texts, calls and emails on a consistent basis but it isn't overbearing or psychotic. I really love this woman and the fact that she does these things doesn't strike me as a motive to cause guilt but to prove her love. I just have too much difficulty understanding this kind of a relation with another person, even if it's a gay man. I can't look to her for clarification any longer because it hurts her too much whenever I bring it up. Maybe I'm a fool; but that is moreso what I'm trying to find out. Lol.

    I usually wouldn't put so much effort into a woman but I've never felt the same with any other. I am interested in pursuing a future with this woman but not with this unrest on my mind. I'm sure it's some sort of misunderstanding but that's why I feel the need to understand and ease my unrest. If I can't qualm it, then I'm moving on. All of your help is appreciated. Peace and love.


     
  16. Gay or not, that thing still has a dick.
     
  17. just have sex with him, if she gets angry you can its okay because he's just gay.
     
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  18. Lol

    Sent from my U670C using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     
  19. If you want clarification then ask. If you feel you can't trust her answer then you need to end the relationship. Violating her privacy is not a viable alternative. She isn't the problem in this relationship. You need to work on your jealousy and insecurity. One is feeding the other.


    Once again I would like to point out that you're jealous over a gay man. Gay. As in, likes dick. And no I'm not going to explain anything to you because your mind is already made up and anything I tell you will only be used against her. I just hope you end this sooner than later. Less scars.


     

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