Unlady like to smoke?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by archeronun, Aug 27, 2015.

  1. Long story short I've been in a long term committed relationship with the same guy for 4 years. Last year he introduced me to the good plant but I still didn't do it much. Like twice until December. Since then it really took off I smoke mostly on weekends now but the thing is.... He still doesn't know, because the one day I did tell him about me smoking he pitched a fit, said it wasn't lady like. Do other guys feel that way? I'm just curious. I enjoy it and want to continue so I'm trying to figure out the best way to bring the issue to him. Any ideas?
     

  2. That's a double standard . You said he introduced you to it , yet doesn't like you smoking it?

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    Tell him if he doesn't want you doing it, he shouldn't do it either ? :confused_2: or just do it and not give a shit what he thinks?
     
  3. Yeah about that... your guy sounds like a hypocritical bitch lol.
    Stoner bitches are the best!

    Tell him not to be a pussy if he likes getting pussy.

    Although maybe his story is you smoking all the weed he bought without him... are you that kinda person OP?
     
  4. No I just smoked with some friends one day. I had been around weed before just never partook until he proposed trying it with him. After realizing I liked it I did it with friends from time to time. Never thought it was a big deal. One day he called and asked what I was doing and I told him I was going to a friends to play video games and smoke. Then he kinda flipped his lid. So I just did it with friends here and there on the weekends but now I know I like it. Hoping to make some type of compromise with him.
     
  5. Don't see why it's a problem if he can do the same shit. Who doesn't love getting baked and playing some games?

    Sounds like he has trust issue's in my opinion.
     
  6. #6 roorforcrumble, Aug 27, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 27, 2015
    I have seen that firsthand and I do not agree with it at all. Some guys are just assholes, and think it is fine to do something while telling their girlfriend no. I really do not understand why it is tolerated, and it hasn't been. haha


    It is not rude for a woman to smoke, this is not the 1920s and prohibition. You're not a naughty flapper girl for it or anything.




     
  7. Him: " Your smoking is unladylike....I don't approve!"


    You: "It's either rolling & smoking or burping & farting. Take your pick"


    Looks like Ya just might have to turn it around & up the ante for the eventual win win.




     
  8. I'll see what I can do lol. Thanks for the advice
     
  9. Well, we all have different ideas of what "Lady like" is. Certainly so when we think this person, as our girlfriend, is kind of like "Our Property" which is very much the case when somebody generalizes your behavior in that context of "I can do this and its fine but if you choose to do it, it is not ok." That is very possessive behavior.

    So i think your first step should be asserting yourself. Let him know "I am not a lady, i am 'archeronun' and you are the person i have chosen to be with. I did not choose you to be lady like, i chose you because i believed that you wanted me to be me. If that is not the case, please let me know and we can discuss that issue like adults, outside of simple generalizations."

    At this point, this is when the person that your boyfriend truly is will come out. If he is a controlling person, he will try to take his control over you even further. If he is a caring person, you two will probably have a quick conversation about it and that will be that. Or he will just end it right on the spot, which is probably the best outcome you could have from the sounds of it.

    Generalizations, moreover of people who play major parts in our lives, are always indicative of greater issues. One action does not define our self and if somebody is using that thought process to define you, they are doing it to serve a purpose outside of your knowledge. Unchecked, these generalizations will often spill over into every part of the relationship until it becomes unmanageable and often, these generalizations are sourced from a simple issue that the person is using you to fulfill. For example, men who don't feel like men unless they are supporting a woman or somebody, or women who cannot thrive in the workplace, thus have to leech off people who do. This is called 'Self-projection'.

    Often people will self project in an argument. For example, if a person has low self esteem and considers themselves a loser, the first word, ironically, they will turn to use against you, is that very same one since it carries so much weight against themselves, if that makes any sense (their fear of it is so great, they must make sure it is not used against them.). Often, professionals will spur on out bursts out of a client when there is no progress being made and make record of the persons outburst. Often, that out burst will provide more information than months of studying will. (Obviously not a common tactic, a a tactic nonetheless.)

    Another funny thing you can do to study this is to simply repeat what somebody says to you, right back to them. You have no idea how many times seeing this scenario out in full will lead to a fight of some kind, its crazy.


    Hopefully this information helps you navigate those tricky waters.
     
  10. Tell him that you have decided that giving him a BJ is un-lady like. See what he says then.


    I think it is very hot when the wife smokes because I know the freak flag will be a flyin'.
     
  11. That might win my case
     
  12. LOL, I so would say the first part. I bet his ass would shut the entire fuck up then.


    I enjoy smoking with my bf and wish he would say that shit. The door is that way.
     
  13. I have to admit...
    Most girls that Ive met and that also smoke tend to be girls I wouldn't want to be in a real relationship with, I'm not saying that is all though.
    Now there are also lots of girls I've met that don't smoke and I would still place them in the same category.

    If your boyfriend introduced you to smoking then he's stupid.
     
  14. You might wanna change the people you around then buddy lol.
     
  15. I'm working on that atm mate!
     
  16. I don't see how people put up with shit like this
     
  17. A male friend???
     
  18. Well it was mixed company. A girl friend of mine and her boyfriend. But I'm friends with him too. We all used to hang out together even before they got together
     
  19. I was with them the day he kinda just chewed me out about it
     
  20. Not sure if anyone cares to know but I talked to him and we ended up smoking together. Just kinda put it out there that I like weed lol so I'm thinking it'll be a weekend thing for us.
     

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