Why cant we be friends after a breakup?

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by dimples&pipes, Aug 24, 2015.

  1. Okay so i've recently started kind of sort of dating this guy I find really cool. But the problem is that he hates the fact that I still keep in contact and am friends with my ex's. Which I find so fucking idiotic. I have guy friends that i'm able to keep a completely platonic relationship with. Why the hell can't this be the same? There's nothing between me and any of my ex's, and they know me better than I know myself at times so they're great for advice. If I wanted to be with them, I could. But i'm not because we broke up for a damn reason. Why must such a cool guy be so insecure and stupid...
     
  2. It doesn't necessarily mean he is insecure, hate how that is always the go-to assumption. Do you have female friends?


    There's a saying about girls with lots of guy friends...


    p.s. - it's weird you have a bunch of ex boyfriend friends if you haven't got that already.
     
  3. It is kinda weird to have a bunch of ex's as friends. Maybe it'd be for the best if you just try and work on you a bit before trying to find your next man. But I'm really not someone to give relationship advice as I've never been in a serious relationship and don't really desire to
     
  4. Good advice though man 🏾
     
  5. Thanks just trying my best. And OP I dion't mean "work on you" in like a bad way like saying you need work done, I believe anyone can work on them
     
  6. and I bet you would be completely okay with him texting all his exes right? Lmao. .... If my woman's texting an ex they can keep her and I'm gone. They are exes after all and it is a major redflag
     
  7. You honestly sound like you want to have your cake and to eat it too.
     
  8. I have quite a few female friends. I just get along with guys quite well. We have fun togetehr, taking mostrous bong hits, going adventuring, etc.

    I've only dates 2 guys seriously... If it was a larger number i'd get it. And he was saying all of these things out of jealousy so insecurity tends to go hand-in-hand with jealousy, especially if the other side gave nothing to be jealous of
     
  9. I would be fine with it. I'm not saying that i text my ex's every night and day, wish them a goodmorning and goodnight, and act like we're anything more than friends. Just once in a blue moon i'll seek advice in a sticky situation or ask them how life is treating them.
     
  10. Wouldn't that apply more if i was asking for an open relationship or for them to treat me with the same affection or attention that the guy i'm talking to is?
     
  11. #11 wanderingtoker, Aug 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2015

    Your looking for validation ,knowing your probably in the wrong. No one here is going to think its ok for ex's( who you say you broke up with for a reason, why be friends then?) to hang out. Most, if not all guys would see this as you keeping your backups in case the new guy falls through. We don't like sharing, it's not jealousy, it's instinct.
     
  12. Well you seem to disregard his feelings. I can't say honestly what your situation is , I wasn't there , which is why i said "sounds like" . You said you recently started talking to this new guy ? So there isn't an established level of trust between you two.
    Which makes your rage over your new dude's questioning silly.


    And you honestly wouldnt care if he got a random text from one of his exes? ... ok...


     
  13. I understand but its still a major red flag. It would make alot of guys assume worst case scenario.. My girlfriend doesn't talk to her exes and I appreciate it and return the favor. In my relationship that would cause a fight lol
     
  14. Rage is a bit of an exaggeration. I'd go more for agitation. It probably just came out as rage because of my potty mouth lol. I can see your point, I guess. I'm, personally, just used to being in laid-back relationships. And he's a laid-back guy. Maybe it's just me pushing the line a tad
     
  15. Most people I see do not have very good break up experiences, meaning they do not want much to do with their exes.
     
  16. #16 WaxPayne, Aug 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 28, 2015
    Idk what laid back relationships mean other than open relationships


    Please try to put yourself in his situation. Some random girl text/calls your new "guy", "bf", "wtf ever you label yourselves as", whom which he had dated, you wouldn't see a red flag? You have to look at all perspectives in this situation, not just yours.


     
  17. there exes why are you sending them good morning and good night txts? That's some bf/gf shit not friends shit lol your giving him some some red flags if a lot of blades were him they'd move on by now
     
  18. OP, i'm gonna do you a favor.


    Here it is.


    When a woman has more guy friends than woman friends, this is how that is perceived by everyone else; By woman, it is perceived that you have 'frictional' dealings with most woman you come into contact with, because your so used to be treated with 'value' by the dudes in your life.. Keep in mind that same value you have with men, does not apply with woman. They don't care that you have a vagina. Men do. When you lean towards the people who value you more, its mainly because the things you have to offer woman are not valuable (No offense).


    That is the perception of it. Hate me, don't hate me, i don't care, its just information. If i am wrong, somebody please point out where, thanks.
     
  19. I don't have more male friends than female friends... I previously stated that I have quite a few. I actually have more female friends than guys friends when I really think about it. I'm just a friendly being. I love being close to people and making new friends in general. I just don't like my completely platonic relationships being described as anything more.
     
  20. Yes, but you feeling the need to state that they are completely platonic speaks to the fact that you know they are not and if you did not, you would feel no need to mention they are.
     

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