I'm sorry. I don't know about you guys, but i was able to start off as really good friends with my ex's before we began dating. I always thought that the fact that we were able to be friends after proved that there was nothing extra. I kinda thought that if you couldn't stand being around your ex after, you're afraid of those feelings coming back or that you might do something with them. I've had plenty of chances to sleep with or date either of my ex's after the breakup, but we moved on to other people once we both were able to see that there was just nothing there anymore. I find it weird that others can't seem to do the same
Lol I feel the need to say that on a forum because none of you really know me and might assume otherwise if that wasn't mentioned. More for your benefit than anyone that i truly care about.
And i bet when you had a boyfriend, those same chances just kept rolling in. You know.. A relationship is about you, but it is also about the other person and when you know you are doing something to hurt the other person and your response is "No, i don't give a fuck, i do what i want" its pretty clear you have like zero respect for said person.
When I have a boyfriend, we compromise. If I do something he doesn't like or vice versa, we talk it out and figure out something that fits both of our needs. If my boyfriend tells me that my being friends with my ex's really bothers him, i'll distance myself significantly from them, for him. But when one is still in the talking stage... Am i supposed to succumb to his every need already? I understand that he has a problem with it and if things get anymore serious, i'll probably tone down my talking to my ex's. But until then, it's all about getting to know each other and seeing if we're a good fit. And I wouldn't consider dating someone that I had no respect for lol
When then I believe you answered whatever you came here looking for. As of now it seems like you value your friendships with your ex-bfs more than with this new guy right now. It clearly doesn't seem like a good fit if you want to hold on to that and this guy is already making that impossible. Honestly the guy does seem insecure. As far as he knows, he should have nothing to worry about... Unless of course you're bringing them around him, texting them while he's in your company, or constantly hanging out alone with them. It really should be out of sight out of mind. The fact that he does know you're this close with your exes and has a problem at this stage probably does mean you're posing some of the redflags I mentioned.
Most of my breakups have not ended in friendship... Usually either totally dont wanna see 'em Or still wanna fuck 'em..... Your Bf probably assumes the latter is the only reason your ex's are still friends with ya... He may be right... He may be paranoid... Up to you decide that.
Maintaining friendships with exes is a no no for me. I just do not understand it. You are an ex for a reason and I think keeping those lines open cause more harm than good. I have dealt with this and was ready to end the relationship. If you care that much about your friendship to where you are willing to mess up a good thing with a great person, go work it out with your ex.
because sharing your chick doesn't feel good. it never will. so you need to have a talk with your dude and let him know that he isn't sharing you with anyone. but he doesn't own you either. no more then you own him. tell him that he can have any friends he wants to have. so as long as they aren't going to get him in trouble, killed or cheat on you they are good to go, no matter their sex, color or religion. he isn't your master, he is your equal. you need to keep coming back to that. you need to let him know that there isn't any competition and that there never will be. you need to let him know that he has the same freedoms that you do. that these are unconditional freedoms and that with out them you cant be happy. you are his right? he does want you to be happy right? how can you be intimate with someone when they compromise your happiness? you might mention that is one of the reasons those guys have been moved into the friend zone and will forever remain there. as crazy as it is, guys are simple like that. no games, no fucking riddles, just say what it is you want. it helps if you do it in a way that doesn't crush his stones all the time. guys also like it when you tell them they are doing a good job, all the time. you need to tell him he is safe and get him to understand you're never going to do anything to hurt him. not with out talking to him about your feelings first. make him feel safe. make him understand that the happier you are, the more safe he is. it is that simple or it can be that simple if he lets it. tell him that he can come and talk with you about your friends and even come hang out with them if he likes. more so if he is feeling uncomfortable in some way. communication is key to consistent happiness with those you love most. quality communication! however, if he is just a piece of ass and someone you're just passing the time with...flirt more. when ever he brings up his unhappiness about your friends, nail him. right then, right there. you should be using your wily feminine charms at this point to twist his soul to your will. you'll know its working by the stupid look you leave on his face and his tears. this last paragraph, i kid lol anyway, if i had to put it all in a nut shell then it would go something like this.....LOTS OF SEX, lots of atta boys and quality communication. that man will slay dragons for you if you do those three things....i shit you not! i know this because it is what my lady does for me and there is nothing i wouldn't do for her. toke on blade and good luck !