Friends with benefits (after a year long relationship)

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by J_IntheMix, Aug 15, 2015.

  1. I won't make this too long. We were together for a year. Broke up a month ago. The sex was incredible all the time, and we both know we're awesome sexual partners, just not so awesome in other areas in the relationship.

    She hit me up tonight, said she wanted to feel me inside her. I called her and we both talked about how it will be strictly a physical thing, I wouldn't stay the night,etc. So I went. When I arrived she was already naked on the bed. I took her and immediately kissed her whole body. I went down on her til she begged me to fuck her and damn....I missed her body so much. We talked for a bit afterward and then I left just as planned. Kissed her goodbye, and here I am now at home thinking about the events of my evening.

    I guess I wanna hear your stories about having this kind of thing with someone you were serious with. This is totally new territory for me and I'm not sure if this will end badly or not. Thanks for reading...
     
  2. Firstly, Jealous of first year of sex, I remember those days. Secondly, Either man up or take it like a bitch and you will get more attached and it will just hurt more. Take it from a guy who has been there and is now regretting it 5 years down the line.
     
  3. #3 killset, Aug 15, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2015
    Very very few people make friends w/ benefits work. Almost zero make it work after being in a relationship. It will end badly. Friend with benefits means she can date other guys. How are you going to handle it when those guys become more important then you. You're friendly piece of ass doesn't want anything to do with you unless she's slutty your going to be kicked to the curb. That's if your emotions towards each other doesn't get in the way. If you're emotions get in the way, you or her may date someone else but the 2 of you will always live this twisted running around behind your partners back shit. Dont fool yourself into thinking otherwise.


    The only slim chance friends with benefits works is if you're actually only friends and not ex's
     
  4. Fuck her brains out. don't buy breakfast
     
  5. Never works. I can tell you right now you're either going to get attached again, or it's going to ruin your current relationship with her.
     
  6. It's possible, but moderate your oxycotin levels (social-bond hormone released after sex or falling in love - http://healthland.time.com/2013/11/27/how-oxytocin...) and keep your mind calm (overthinking leads to unrealistic scenarios). Hope everything goes well.
     
  7. I have no real way to answer because virgin, but I think she uses your boner for a live dildo. Your feelings may get hurt, but I do know how feelings of a guy can get hurt that way being used by a girl or two. [​IMG]
     
  8. Very well put.


    Wish the best for you OP
     
  9. #9 -13 Amp-, Aug 15, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2015
    shes keeping her situation the same while she moves on...yall broke up, so shes no longer tied to you, but she still has you when she feels like she needs you, that will be replaced once she gets a new boyfriend, then you'll be called on when shes mad at him or if they break up...rinse and repeat

    and with the "i missed her body so much" comment, you're gonna get crushed by this, get out now...

     
  10. I don't think either of us are going to get attached like that again. We're both very reasonable and both agree that our relationship wasn't working. And we both agree that we have great sex. I'm not actively trying to get back together and we've made it clear that we're going to see other people. Its purely physical. I think what makes it different is that we were friends before we even dated.

    I totally get what you guys are saying though. She hit me up tonight actually and I told her no.
     
  11. lol everyone in your shoes starts out saying the same thing right before the fire
     
  12. Sounds good OP, I highly suggest having several other women around tho. She's gonna be getting dicked down by others, totally sucks if you're not doing the same.
     
  13. You should write a book. You got me all hot and bothered.
     
  14. sounds like space is the only thing needed in your relationship. Time apart to enjoy time alone. That's why when you went over her house it felt ten time better, because the thought and idea of her body was fading out from your memory. The moment you saw her naked, the memories come running back, giving you the awesome feeling. Talk to her about getting back together and not spending a bunch of time with her to keep your lives separate, but sharing some points of life.
     
  15. Oh man, I just saw this and had to comment.

    I was dating a girl for three years, we just broke up a few months ago. I'm still madly in love with her and she says she loves me, but doesn't want to be loved right now. We talk, and it's either really good or really bad, then we end up seeing each other and fucking like crazy... Then once it's over it's back to silence and minimal communication.

    Over and over again, it isn't getting any better and I'm just dragging myself through the mud at this point to make her happy when I'm clearly not happy at all. I want more from her, she wants less from me.

    So take it from a guy who's going through something similar to your situation right now; separating sex with relationship stuff is difficult at best, impossible most of the time. Just be careful, that's all I can offer. Shit sucks.


     
  16. It's going to start out very reasonable and seemingly rational but the effects are going to be cumulative. You're going to get the warm and fuzzies and start thinking about old times. The next thing you know you'll practically be in a relationship again and all of the old conflicts will be renewed. Plus you'll have some new wounds to open up. You'll be in worse shape than when you started.




     
  17. Treat her like a slut. Dont put any sort of feelings into it. Dont even kiss her.

    Bend that bitch over and get it and leave asap
     
  18. I dunno about a whole book but I'd love to start a sex blog. I've got lots more stories to tell ;)


    And to everyone else, things are still good. We're keeping our space and being open about seeing other people. I did spend last night with her though, it was her bday and it ended in a sweaty good time.
     
  19. Ahahahahhaha ur comment made my night :D
     
  20. /thread
     

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