Long story short: -Met a cute girl, hit it off, started dating (okay to be honest it was more sex, eating together, cuddling) -We both live on campus in residence, I work here and she goes to school -She says she wants to live off campus next semester instead of living in the dorms. Starts looking for a place to rent -There's another guy who likes her, and she admitted to me that she finds him attractive -He is 11 years older and is renting a house, offered her to rent a room in his basement ... -she tells him "no thanks, I'll keep looking for a place." She looks at other places but they are more expensive -He offers to reduce the rent, and tells horror stories about the town we live in in order to pressure her to move in with him -My gut feels wrong about the whole situation, and I stick to it and tell her he just wants her for obvious reasons -She's now going to live there next semester -I break it off with the girl, ignore her, and she's angry. I know how these things go, though. Two people who are attracted to each other with bedrooms 12 steps away... they will wind up in bed together. She says I don't trust her, and it's true I hardly know her So question: Am I in the wrong here? My gut says something is fishy about this, and I know he is interested in her. In my opinion he is too old for her (she's 21 and kind of naive). Although I know it's not my responsibility I feel as if she is getting slightly manipulated by this guy who doesn't have her best interests at heart. He offered to reduce the rent by $200 a month, that's a lot..in exchange for what?
No, you are not in the wrong. Go find a girl that is perfectly happy to kiss your entire ass, then marry her. Good luck!
Remember that The guy has ten years experiance on you. Maybe she wanted to live with you instead? If you dont clear thingsnu with her you are going to loose her. You should talk to her. Make you listen. Write her a letter maybe. Hurry before the other guys influence grows on her. Like now!
You fucked up. A little trust would have gone a long way. Now you stepped out the picture which gives him the green light. If you're this jealous so early on in the relationship maybe it's best you go your separate ways. Your jealousy and suspicion would only grow the longer she lived there. Which means you would take it out on her. Jealousy isn't a symptom of her infidelity it's an indication of your insecurity. You would rather her pay 400-500 a month for your peace of mind than let her get a great deal on a room. That's selfish and controlling. Dude you need to work on you.
An older guy was interested in her and has his own house. 99.9% of girls are going to choose the older dude(and then regret it later and come running back to you crying). You did the right thing by just getting away and not dealing with it. You live on campus, tons and tons of other cute girls around.
Not enough information. He's for sure going to try to get in her pants. Doesn't mean he'll succeed, though. In fact, moving in with him makes it very risky for her to sleep with him. There is an enormous downside risk to letting a roommate relationship go beyond that. Some women don't care about consequences and others do. If she's a pretty responsible woman, she thinks about consequences and probably would not sleep with him. If she's a party girl, he'll have her at some point in time.
This is the reason I broke it off. She could live anywhere and chooses to go with him-I question her intentions- end of story. He's older, has a steady job and is renting the house, don't think he bought it. She is very future/security minded and the older guys apparent career has seemed to kick in her instincts. The guy she's moving in is a little crazy though, and not over her ex. I think she would save herself a lot of hassle by living somewhere else.
It's not that simple, if this were a long term relationship, some of your points would be more applicable to this situation. However, it's more of a short-term friends with benefits situation. I don't trust her, I hardly know the girl. Seeing how easy it was to get her into bed, I'm sure any other guy won't have a problem. Thanks for your honesty though If a woman give me any red flags, I am not hesitant to walk right away, experience has taught me this. The older i get, the less BS i put up with a girl. You know you made the right decision when they are calling and texting you back with sexy messages..
it's clear that your not just worried about her being bedded by him but actually her well being too. so i would say this is not fueled by jealousy but instead from your instincts. = just my opinion though always trust you instincts, even if they are wrong sometimes, that's how you get better at understanding yourself as you grow, the moment you stop believing in your own instincts is the moment you WILL become insecure. = also just my opinion
A couple of things I noticed about your posts. First of all you set a higher standard for her behavior than you do your own. It was just as easy to get you into bed apparently. The fact that your standard for her behavior doesn't apply to you is what is known as a double standard. I'm sure you've heard of it. You have already dismissed her as a possible slut. She's 21 not 14. I'm sure she's quite capable of handling her life. I'm surprised she's lived this long without your protection and concern for her welfare. She was honest enough to confess her attraction to him yet you feel she can't be trusted. Based on what exactly? Your gut feeling? Seems like your gut feeling needs a tune up. I'm not busting your balls I'm just saying you didn't even give it a chance. Did you bother to tell her why you broke it off? Did you give any hint that you were uncomfortable with the living arrangements? In your first post you called it a relationship and now you're saying she's nothing but a fuck buddy. You say you hardly know her but you sure have her pegged. You're all over the place and contradicting yourself right and left. On second thought I don't think you fucked up. I think you did her a huge favor. Good luck with your future "relationships".
Fuck that OP, I would've done the same thing. And that guy is fucking pathetic lol! I would never rent my room out to some chick I wanna bang, fuck I don't want to live with a female period.
Yeah, he doesn't have her best interests at heart. You are absolutely right about trusting your instincts/intuition. I'm not just saying that because you agree with me, but from personal experience when I have ignored my instincts, things have gone awry.