BEFORE YOU READ:I'm not asking for help,I'm just sharing my experiences When I get VERY high, I get these very terrible thoughts. Like killing people and thinking my life is so horrible, but I always catch myself and change my thought process. I'll have conversations with myself like SCENARIO 1 (In my brain) Me1: what would it be like to take a plier to all his teeth Me2: dude stop thinking like that Me1: just try it Me2: NO STOP SCENARIO 2 Me1: I have such a terrible life, my parents always have hated me, I was always the failure among my siblings. Me2: nah your good man don't treat yourself like that Me1: no you suck, stop wasting your life and kill yourself (I have all these thoughts of how to die) Me2: no that's crazy Then I fall asleep and I wake up sober and I'm perfectly fine. I know my limit on how much weed before I get these thoughts, but the pros of smoking that much weed is when I close my eyes I get these awesome visuals, in full color and everything. The minds is heaven and hell, all wrapped up in one ball of meat
Usually get thoughts like that when I'm drunk as fuck, main reason why I quit drinking, but with marijuana those thoughts turn constructive and it helps me get a better grasp on the things in my life that are bringing me down. For your situation you will have to ask yourself if those thoughts are worth the high.