My whole life, I always had that thought carrying with me, the thought that makes me go "Wow, I'm here, I'm existing, I'm living, this is life and this is the world I live in." It wasn't until I started smoking marijuana that I had realised this, but I know that before the thought was always there and marijuana helped me realise the thought and helped me bring it into my consciousness while I'm sober and in a clearer way. I always questioned why I couldn't remember much from when I was younger, but when I started smoking, it was like it helped me delve into those memories and as if it strengthened them. Now days I'm sort of plagued with the thought of chance and existence, like if a number of factors changed just a little bit the earth would be toast (or ice) it seems surreal that we're so lucky to be here and I just imagine in a far far distance away, someone exactly like me could be thinking the same thing, researching or posting their own experience like me. Needless to say this isn't the only thing that's on my mind, I live life I go I socialise, have fun and live life the way I feel it should be, at the end of the day I'm happy that I'm here and I'm happy that I'm fortunate to have everything that I do (especially the holy Mary J). Thank you to everyone that's taken their time to read this and I look forward to your replies *on a side note I'm sober right now haha*
It has been my experience that cannabis tends to suppress the ego. This is why we experience a feeling of oneness with the world. Do not let the apparent chaos of our natural situation here on earth trouble you much. Rather learn all you can about the system's life, it is true we may never understand everything but as you learn more and more it looks less and less like chaos and more and more like divine beauty.
What your attention is one with your 'IS-ness', all your life flowers...then the truth is revealed to you. -Mooji