1.) You knew where you had to go, what you had to do. Getting too high is no ones fault but your own. 2.) Men don't understand subtlety when it comes to women. Its unfair to be mad at him for not picking up on a hint, you should have outright asked him and told him how important it was to you. If he refused you'd be in the right to be mad. 3.) You had a panic attack because you were unfamiliar with driving and it was amplified because you were high. I don't believe, like your boyfriend, that you were incapable of making it, especially when you made it that far. 4.) It's reasonable that if you made it that far you could finish the task. He made an effort in calming you down, walking you through it and checking up on you. 5.) Texts are never reliable. You're getting mad at him after the fact you made it and that he didn't confirm your text. You didn't say you called him 6.) You did make it. Your safety wasn't on the back burner, he was reasonable and reliable with helping you through it and it would have been unreasonable to come to you when you were that close. It is an inconvenience. 7.) You're blaming him for your anxiety attack and that he "let" you do something. I think you're a responsible adult and part of that is owning your actions. 8.) You're extra angry because he was with his friends, you're projected jealousy is icing on the aggro cake. 9.) What you would have done and what he should have done is moot when all you did was hint Yes, you're over reacting and your relationship has some major communication issues. Edit: "I'm starting to have second thoughts on how chill I am with him smoking all the time." - I'd ditch your ass. But then again I'm an asshole. I think you're having residual effects of a crisis level or manic panic attack and you're being slightly unreasonable. I don't know your relationships history but that's part of asking for advice on the internet. Sorry if this isn't the hugbox answer you wanted.
I was seeing your point of view up until "It is <span style="background-color:rgb(247,247,247);">an inconvenience." I don't know if you've ever been in a serious, adult relationship, but your SO's feelings should never be an "inconvenience."</span> Also, I am not blaming him for my anxiety attack. I am blaming the weed for it. I'm also not "extra angry" at him or at anyone, and it has nothing to do with him having his friends over. I am in no way jealous that he spends time with his friends. "<span style="background-color:rgb(247,247,247);">Edit: "I'm starting to have second thoughts on how chill I am with him smoking all the time." - I'd ditch your ass."</span> LOL. I'm definitely not interested in dating you so get over yourself. I take it that grasscity is not the place to even question people who smoke weed without someone getting defensive for obvious insecurity reasons. For fuck's sake..
Driving 4/5 the distance to get you when you have 1/5 to go is an inconvenience and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. Turning it into "muh feelings" is something it's not. Unless it is, then it's a classic non-issue. Flip it however you want. You also might want to check your privilege. This fundamentally comes down to you being upset he "let" you do something.
So it's his fault you can't handle your weed? Nobody forced smoke down your lungs, you're an adult and you made the decision to get high instead of being sure you'll be capable behind the wheel. You shouldn't be mad at anyone, but yourself at this point, hindsight is 20/20.
First of all, I never said it was 4/5 the distance, nor did I make any reference to how far away from him I was, so it's kind of obvious you are pulling things out of your ass. Why? No idea.. maybe because you want to believe that I am "privileged," whatever that means. Sorry, I'm really trying to be open to other people's opinions because I care about my relationship and want an outside perspective to keep me in check, but yours makes no sense, and is based on judgmental assumptions. One of the reasons I am upset is that we are both usually really good at being there for each other, and this time I felt like it wasn't the case. I would drive for hours if I felt like my boyfriend needed me. Someone who feels inconvenienced by the people they love as easily as you can't ever really understand, can they?
I'm not blaming him for getting me high, although I can see how I came off that way by what I wrote. I didn't think I would get as high as I did, so yes, that was definitely my fault. The reason I choose not to smoke again anytime soon is because I don't like the feeling of not having control. I wasn't upset with him until he didn't respond to my message for almost an hour.
I'm schizoid so talking about range of emotions doesn't really ring with me. Despite my coldness I can empathize. I think you need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly what you're telling us. Majority of relationship issues and insecurities come from bad communication. I gave you my honest opinion, I guessed with the numbers but I don't think I'm wrong. Don't write off what I said because because our values of what is convenient are different. You should be talking to your boyfriend about that, not convincing me. Tell him what your expectations are in maintaining a healthy relationship. See what he can meet, compromise on what he cant. If you can't see eye to eye don't force a relationship you don't feel secure in. You're not here questioning others, you came here asking a about personal problem. questioning your justification on your judgement. You saw my point up until I had something you disagreed with. Since then you have only been on a dismissive defense. You came here and put yourself on blast. This is par the course with asking advice on the internet. If you want a hugbox try tumbler. They'll even give you trigger warnings.
I appreciate your honest opinion, and you made some good points in your first post that helped me see my own irrationality. Anxiety and overthinking everything are issues I know I have to work on. That's why I decided to ask for insight on this forum first before seeing my boyfriend tomorrow, knowing almost everyone here smokes and could understand his point of view more than mine.
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and some of my worst panic attacks, "crisis" level, have been driving unknown roads or missing an exit. I'm speaking from personal experience and have a degree in Psychology. What I considered "irrational" are part of the defense mechanisms in attempting to cope with something. Displaced anger, projecting. sublimating, etc. Take it how you want, I'm well aware I'm playing arm chair psychologist but it's my honest semi-educated guess. I just have an unintentional wickedly cynical tone in how I type, sorry for being cold.
No. I chose "p.sparkles" because my friend named the first glass pipe I ever had "princess sparkles." Suffice it to say, it was sparkly. I figured it would be an easy username to remember.
8-1030 .. 2+ hours later n u still thT baked?? What u smokin i know sd bud is good but damn Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum
Out of curiosity, why did you make an account here just to seek relationship advice? This seems to be a regular occurrence here, even when weed isn't involved. Weed was involved here, but it doesn't sound like that was the central conflict to me. Regardless, this sounds like a no harm/no foul situation. Take it as learned lesson and move on. If I was your boyfriend I would have suggested you refrain from smoking that night, but in the end it's your decision. He seemed a lot more involved than I would have been. Sounds like a rather nice guy.
I'm actually impressed how he handled her panic attack. Normally it's "Calm down, you're freaking out over nothing. Everybody has anxiety, deal with it". He did exactly what I would have done. Down to forgetting to text back after I saw she was alright. I really don't think her safety was in jeopardy but a panic attack literally feels like impending doom. Your right though, we got a ton of these. I think Google is just beastly at link people to us for every reason imaginable. What really surprises me is how not overwhelming liberal we are. I thought for sure this place would lean to the left. It did pre-2008 iirc. I miss the conspiracy theory trend we had that dropped off after 2012. God I loved those threads and unironically arguing with people about reptiles. Now everything is dank memes. I hate when you post in threads where I'm being sincere. I feel like I have a duty to be ironic and shitpost.
No worries. I was a little thrown off by your tone at first, but I don't really expect people to be friendly on an internet forum. I've never heard of that disorder before, but I've had OCD since I was a kid and that's categorized as an anxiety disorder, so it doesn't surprise me that I am overall a pretty anxious person. I normally don't get panic attacks, but last night was really bad. I considered exiting the freeway multiple times but I kept telling myself to suck it up.. only to start panicking again seconds after driving past the exit, like "WTF WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST EXIT." Turns out my parents' flight was delayed so I sat at the airport parking lot for a good amount of time. Downtown is about 15 min away from my boyfriend's apartment and where I actually pulled over was about 10 min away from the actual airport, btw. It would have been an inconvenience for my boyfriend and I didn't want to do that to him, but at the same time, I was really scared I was going to fuck up and crash, possibly injure someone or myself, etc. So I never explicitly asked him to come, but was hoping he would, I guess. I need to be more decisive. I do not blame him for not reading my mind. Haha um. I have no idea what I smoked. My boyfriend actually shotgunned the bong for me because I am extremely lightweight (I know, I'm a huge baby) but it was just too much for me that time. I normally just use the pipe, and take small hits. I enjoy getting slightly high, but too much and the room is spinning and I feel nauseous. It sucks.
I don't normally post on any forums but I wanted some outside perspective on this because I definitely felt like there was a good chance I was overreacting. So I pretty much typed my question into Google search and found this forum. Thought it was worth a shot to ask. I think he forgot that I had to go to the airport later, as did I the moment I said yes to smoking. And he is a nice guy. I apologize if I sound bratty pointing this out but he didn't see my message that I was alright until almost an hour later, and that's why I initially got upset. We chat over Facebook messenger and you can see if the person you're chatting with has seen your message, and at what time. I was upset that he didn't bother to check his messages to see if I was alright, but given that he was also high and with his friends, he probably just lost track of time. I just wonder if that's the best situation to put yourself in.. losing track of time and being apathetic to what's going on.