So I talked to my parents about my weed being taken away. My dad turned it over to the local sheriff as well as my information. Where I live, work, go to school, what I drive, like, etc. I understand why they did it, but it just doesn't compute to me. They are restricting me as an adult because they love me. I get that, but it just doesn't make sense to me. This sort of thing shouldn't happen. At least, I don't think it should. Or, it doesn't happen normally. I'm not mad that he did that. Surprisingly. Then again, I'm not the aggressive type. I am, however, the type to self-blame and cry myself to sleep at night. It happens once and a while. Has been going on for about a few years, but that's beside the point. I told my dad---after he told me he turned over my stuff and information to the sheriff: "It feels like I'm being restricted as an adult by my parents. I'm not surprised or mad. Just annoyed. It's annoying." They treat me like a teenager and I don't like it. Sure, I live in their house, but I don't think they should go so far as to put me on record like that. To keep an eye on me in such a envasive way. It made me feel like a part of my freedom had just been taken away. Maybe I'm just being paranoid because I'm (admittedly) naive for my age. Maybe because I've been so guarded my whole life, that I'm inclined to be submissive to what they tell me. Like, I have no say in it. Not cool. Not cool at all. Am I just taking this too hard? Are they right? I don't know. It doesn't feel right. They---or rather, my mom---tells me that I'm an addict. That I can't live without it. I don't think that's true. I just want to make my own decisions and it feels like they are restraining me within this corral they have raised me in. I told them that. I told them to let me breathe. My mom's response: Apparently, I had pneumonia as a baby and had difficulty breathing on a couple of occasions. That really got me thinking, but then my inner yearning for independence interpreted that as a tactic to keep me in the corral. If it wasn't clear before, I'm kind of a metaphorical speaker. Sorry if things seem spacy and contemplative. It's just how my mind works. I don't know what it could be. Maybe I still haven't outgrown their sense of control and it's making me doubtful in my efforts to convince them to just let me make my own choices. I just don't know sometimes. I know the talk was important and I value it a lot, but I feel like---because I'm so slow (yes, I was with the slow kids all through out school) and guarded---I wasn't able to level our opinions. I'm not surprised that I couldn't convince them. I wasn't hoping to, because I know I can't. I'm not very good at talking or being persuasive. This makes it very difficult for me to be social and to defend myself and my beliefs. It's like studying for a test---aka research on cannibis and how it has benefits other than recreational use---and just blanking after signing my name. It makes me feel mentally weak, feeble, and just flat out inadequate. I don't want them to tell me to stop. I want to decide when to stop on my own and they don't allow me to. Again, maybe it's just how I was raised or maybe I'm just too feeble and submissive to step outside this mental corral, but it just doesn't feel right; them setting limits on what I do or don't do. I understand that they are my parents and they love me and so are just trying to protect me, but I guess I just feel smothered and this is some subconscious form of rebellion. Or, maybe I'm actually making great strides towards independence and this is just a bump in the road. But, I just don't know. They're worried I'll end up some druggie living under a bridge, stealing to get my next fix. I can understand that, but I wouldn't let that happen. I just want them to trust me. To have faith in me. To let me be my own man. Please let me know if I sound like a bitch or something, it would help put things into perspective. But anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is: Although I know why they restrict me---despite the fact I can't stand it---it just doesn't sit well with me and I want to...break out of it. I don't feel entirely accepted by them. Of course. I'm doing something they don't agree with. Maybe I should just stop giving a damn and do what I want, but I don't want to disrespect them. This is all so complicated. I wish I could convice them to at least try it, but I know I can't. That, and I know they wouldn't. I've been planning and saving for a while, maybe I should just move out as soon as I can so as to stop juggling my live my life and holding their approval. Because both these aspects will never be simultaneously at 100%. They're just too conservative. Mexicans can have that problem. We can be stubborn in our beliefs. I could tell because they pointed out how persistant I was being. They said that because I'm defending it---weed and my ussage---it means I'm dependent on it. I seriously doubt that (surprise, they shot that down too), I just want them to leave me alone in a sense. Any tips or advice beyond the obvious: "move out"? I konw that. I need more answers. Something that would help me in this---I'd hate to call it this, but---"cause" of mine. I know most of us, if not, maybe all of us, have been in this situation before. ---Thanks.
I think you take it way too personally.... I mean I get it and all, they are your parents and all that. But take it from someone who is their own toughest critic (takes one to know one), you are being too hard on yourself. You sound very reasonable in your entire approach to all this and your mindset you have about it. If you're the same kid that posted about the crazy mother that cheated on your dad then I'd say get away from her (I know, that sounds like "move out" but it's not). To me it sounds like your parents are having a negative influence on your life right now. That is a very heavy thing for me to say, and I don't say it lightly, they are your parents after all and you love them. But from the way you are talking it really sounds like you need to be away from them for now. Here's a suggestion. Don't smoke as much. I don't know how much you smoke, and I don't really care, I don't think your smoking habits are the issue. But I think it would be good for you. I know it doesn't seem like it but weed does affect you, especially when smoking a lot, in a mental way. It's not necessarily bad, but like for me I had gotten to where I smoked all the time and got a bit depressed and anxious. So I cut back drastically and my head got a lot clearer. So you obviously need to move out. How? You say you have money, that is good. Maybe you can find a friend or two, ones that do not smoke a lot of weed and move in with them as well. The point is, the next step you take does not need to be centered around smoking weed. It needs to be centered around what is right and what is a healthy step for you mentally. Try to make that next step be one where weed is less of an influence, but still a positive one.
dude, your parents are fucking idiots. get a lawyer. it might be that your parents broke the law going through your shit. laws are different now a days and even though you live at home, you are still protected. that is first and foremost, above and beyond anything else, do this. do it soon like fucking tomorrow soon. then act cold and dry to your parents because you now know anything and everything you say and do around them could get you in lots of trouble. keep it to yes and no answers if possible. fuck that is scary shit, fucking parents turned you into 5.0. now that you have that handled, move out. once you have and only after you have moved out, get your medical card for marijuana. don't live in a medical state, move to one. hell, there will be 3 or 4 states where it is legal recreational now. for fuck sakes man...why haven't you left yet?!? {Colorado, Washington and as of july Oregon. thats 3}. want to smoke the dankest of the dank and give not even the smallest of fucks what your parents think? then move the fuck out! want to get high every day? move the fuck out!!!! i think i made my point lol once you move out you don't even have to talk to your parents or even include them in your life. i got to say, this is probably one of the reasons i would stop talking to my parents. turned you into the law man. that right there proves they are to ignorant too have even made such a choice. to have turned you into the fucking law. how incredibly stupid. they could have and still may ruin the rest of your life or at least several years of it. i am still trying to wrap my head around this decision they made. how is it supposed to help you? like in exactly what way is this any benefit to you? in any way? i see nothing but negative connotations associated with such a poorly conceived and ill thought out idea of "helping" their son. fucking idiots. complete fucking idiots. it isn't like they found a stash of dead hookers under your bed like my parents did...
Your parents want to control every aspect of your life, big fucking surprise. What, did you really think they gave a fuck about your opinion? they're always going to do what they think is right first and foremost. Get used to it as long as you're living with them..