Life as Chaos;Death as Control

Life, as I see it, is manifested by mere will into emotion to action into consequence.
While clearly defining yourself with life, is defining your experience.
But to try to remember your experience is not the same as when you've experienced it.
As pain is apt to be forgot, yet rememberance of it yields only faintness of its actuality.
To be present in experience is more about relinquishing control to life itself.
And life then relinquishes control back to you.
However, what seems to be a random-spontaneous particle as in what quantum mechanics shows, instead the truth is that it is not entirely random.
Rather when to try to control free-will, you become determined to destroy it. 
And when you relinquish control of free-will, you become determined to grow it.
The choice is exacting growth or destruction by means of relinquishing control or attempting to control.
Thus life is to allow chaos.
And death is to allow control.
To allow chaos is as simple as giving up your own power, and attempting no conscious endeavor to gratify self in any way, external or internal.
To allow control is more shamefully complex, it is to gratify your own power, by means of a conscious endeavor to the external and internal.
 
Therefore free-will is a choice to be self-determined by either life or death.
And the chaos caused from free-will is due to creativity and destruction from either side of both life and death.
Chaos is life, life is good and bad.
Life is not black and white,
And thus, life is what you make of it.
Without the tug of war, there would be no life.
Without the tug of war, there would be no sense of anything.
Without pain to contrast pleasure, there would be no definition to anything.
Without contrast of any sort, there would be nothing.
Existence would become nothingness if ever there were not conflicting paradoxes.
The harder the paradox, the greater the amazement.

 

"The harder the paradox, the greater the amazement."
                                                            -QiParadoxical