Cell Funerals: Millions A Day Without You Even Knowing

Discussion in 'Science and Nature' started by Imbakedafatthemoment, Apr 19, 2015.

  1. #1 Imbakedafatthemoment, Apr 19, 2015
    Every time a cell dies all the other cells have a little cell funeral and they then cremate the corpse and release the ashes in the rectum. Then a gaseous force releases the ashes from the rectum. This phenomenon is known as a "fart." It takes around 250,000 cremated cells to result in 1 fart, and humans fart around 6 fts/day(fts=farts). Through this knowledge scientists were able to prove that humans lose 1,300,000-1,700,0000(15,000,000+or-2,000,000) cells to premature death a day.
    - I'm super fucking high
     
  2. #2 travilanche, Apr 19, 2015
    Wut?
     
  3. #3 Cactus Ed, Apr 19, 2015
    6 farts a day average?  Someone is not farting their fair share.
     
  4. #4 yurigadaisukida, Apr 19, 2015
    LOL

    :lol::D:lol:

    -yuri
     
  5. #5 JuanRing, Apr 21, 2015
    Heh after a night of drinking I'd say I fill my 6 fart quota in about the first 20 minutes, I wonder who's bringing down the average.
     
  6. #6 Deleted member 839659, Apr 21, 2015
    You forgot about nails and hair.
     
  7. #7 Omega369, Apr 21, 2015
    My cells come out of my pee hole I dunno what you talking about bro


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  8. #8 forty winks, Apr 21, 2015
     
    No shit!
     
  9. #9 Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Apr 21, 2015
    And here I thought it was the biproduct of stomach flora bacterium feeding on my lunch. Damn. Learn something new everyday.
     
    Brb, collecting fart ashes to reabsorb the premature cells. (probably will IV infuse, but possibly taken orally).
     
  10. #10 Mantikore, Apr 21, 2015
    And people wonder why I recycle my farts..
     
  11. #11 Mantikore, Apr 21, 2015
     
    Great butts fart alike.
     
  12. #12 sleepingblade, Apr 22, 2015
    You can also meditate to prevent farting, resulting in longer lifetime.
     

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