Every time a cell dies all the other cells have a little cell funeral and they then cremate the corpse and release the ashes in the rectum. Then a gaseous force releases the ashes from the rectum. This phenomenon is known as a "fart." It takes around 250,000 cremated cells to result in 1 fart, and humans fart around 6 fts/day(fts=farts). Through this knowledge scientists were able to prove that humans lose 1,300,000-1,700,0000(15,000,000+or-2,000,000) cells to premature death a day. - I'm super fucking high
Heh after a night of drinking I'd say I fill my 6 fart quota in about the first 20 minutes, I wonder who's bringing down the average.
And here I thought it was the biproduct of stomach flora bacterium feeding on my lunch. Damn. Learn something new everyday. Brb, collecting fart ashes to reabsorb the premature cells. (probably will IV infuse, but possibly taken orally).