Close to giving up for good

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by Marijuana Kamui, Mar 24, 2015.

  1. #1 Marijuana Kamui, Mar 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2015
    Hey blades and bladettes. havent been on the forum for a while. changed my profile pic. thats me if you were wondering. Anyway I've been kinda down these past few months, I decided to take a break off the city to improve my otherwise non-existent love life and to no avail. each chance was met with varied rebuttals, some polite and others blunt, but hey who hasn't felt rejection am I right?. Anyway after many attempts of being constantly rejected, it's kind of crushed my hope of finding somebdy to like me for who am I you know... I don't know just some thoughts. anyway could use some advice from my fellow tokers.
     
  2. #2 sharkwave540, Mar 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2015
    I have better luck letting girls come to me instead of actively seeking them. Instead of meeting a chick from a bar, you might actually have a connection with someone from work, just strike up a casual conversation. Have you tried that?

    Btw, this is just based on the details you've provided so far. You haven't really mentioned where you meet girls.
     
  3. What have you done to improve yourself?
     
  4. I agree with sharkwave540 but according to your profile you're only 19; live your life first...as cliche as it sounds, EXPLORE, HAVE FUN, TRAVEL, have a few one night stands lol!!! Live your life with no baggage and I'm pretty damn positive someone will come along :)
     
  5. librarys, smoke sessions
     
  6. go out more. Read on things. Reflect and find myself
     
  7. #7 BlazedGlory, Mar 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 24, 2015
     
    You don't look bad judging from your profile pic, but some things you could do to improve would be, for one thing, switching from glasses to contact lens if possible. I have crappy vision, but I know personally I hate how I look with glasses, so contact lens were a great choice for me.
     
    I'm also hitting the gym again, trying to get in shape for summer. That's something everyone can improve on, and if you do it right you get health benefits from it as well.
     
    How's your confidence and conversational skills? Is your social circle healthy, etc.
     
    There's always something you can do, you're never helpless and you should never give up. It can get discouraging I know, but the guy who gets rejected more than his friends also tends to get more girls in the end.
     
    Don't give up bro!
     
  8. I could offer some insight and advice on this situation but I am not going to because if I do I am not going to sugarcoat anything and be straight out blunt and you are probably not going to take it well.

    So I will pass. And BTW "Be yourself" is the most useless advice anyone is ever going to give you when it comes to handling real life situations.
     
  9.  
    "Don't be fake" is pretty good advice honestly, I put it like that. Another good tip is don't make your life about the search for a woman. Make your life about good times and doing cool stuff and you'll naturally pick up an amenable female.
     
  10. #10 Yummybud20, Mar 25, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 25, 2015
    ok i'm going to be harsh because i've felt similar to you and I know some people here will bash me and disagree with me but here is my advice:
     
    1) No matter what girls or people tell you girls care about looks. it's not the only thing they care about but it's a big factor if you are not good looking most girls won't' even bother giving you a chance unless you have something else amazing about you like you are a musician or a celebrity. but if you are not good looking and are just an average joe with nothing interesting about you good luck finding a girl.
     
    2) you can improve your looks, not everyone can look amazing but you can get a better haircut, dress better, go to the gym if you are overweight lose weight, it's hard work but it is the only way. east healthier, if you have bad skin try to fix that eat healthier, go to the dermatologist. glasses are ok i think just has to fit your face.
     
    3) you need to improve yourself to get quality women. if you are in your 30s and working at mcdonalds i can guarantee you won't be able to get a quality girl that will stay with you. you don't have to become a CEO or a multi millionaire but having a good career and making more money will make you stand out.
     
    4) build your social skills by talking to people more not just girls you like but everyone, girls don't like awkward guys. so you have to try and build your social skills if you are socially awkward.
     
     
    but seriously number 1 is looks, it sucks but most girls won't even give you a chance to get to know you if they don't like your looks. i know a ton of cool guys with good social skills confidence, going to school, have a life have friends but can't get a girlfriend. girls are just way more pickier than guys, they talk shit about wanting a good guy or a nice guy they have a good time with but they always end up going for the good looking guy that works out. very rarely a girl will go for a guy that is not good looking but she finds some other quality in him but it's rare and like winning the lottery. 
     
    and women's standards for looks are much higher than most men. i see lot of good looking guy dating women below their looks but its' rare for a woman to do this unless the guy has something else about him like he is a doctor. actually i see good looking tall guys with unattractive women. women just have a ton more options so they will of course go of the best they can get. this usually means average looking and especially below average looking guys will have to struggle to get any girl. i see this all the time. even myself for example, my sister is equivalent in looks to me and she's always had no problem getting boyfriends, me on the other hand not so easy.
     
     
    the tips people give on getting girls only apply to good looking guys. a good looking guy can just be himself (whatever that is even if he's awkward) and girls will at lest give him a chance. if you are not good looking even ugly girls will reject you bc all girls these days get so much attention from men they think they shouldn't settle for anything but the tall good looking guy with muscles with money and a good job. at least if you want an average or good looking girl....
     
     
    and final tip stop caring about having a relationship with a girl, most of it is fake and bullshit anyways. girls only "love you" for superficial reasons, the may feel "love" but its' because of your looks or your status / job etc, until the next better guy comes along when they'll drop you and not give a fuck. i guess same with guys, any beautiful woman can make you feel "love".
     
    so if you remember that also remember that no girl is special, you might think this one girl is so great and different and awesome but she's not, all women are basically the same. and all men are basically the same, we'll think we like a girl because she's so great but it's just because she has a nice ass and some nice tits you are attracted to and a pretty face and you think she's so awesome.
     
    so last thing is don't give a fuck about any single woman. doesn't mean treat woman badly, but don't ever focus on a girl it's a waste of time at least until you are dating her for a long time, even then be weary. 
     
  11.  
    yeah be yourself is bullshit. it works if you are a tall good looking guy then sure you can be yourself whatever the fuck that is and women will come based on your looks. personality doesn't work a ton for getting woman, you need to meet her threshold for attractiveness before a women will even give you a chance to see what your personality is like.
     
    if a woman downs't like your looks you get labelled the "creepy" guy that tried to talk to her and she's not interested. I know guys that are boring as fuck, awkward but are good looking and they get girls. 
     
    women have much higher standards than men i've heard a ton of girls say things like i won't date a guy that is shorter than 6 feet tall while they are only 5 feet tall themselves.
     
  12. If be yourself doesnt work its only because the "yourself" part isnt what theyre into. Its a warning to not manufacture a persona for women, that comes from insecurity.

    Being tall carries weight with some girls, but dont listen when they say stuff like 6 feet plus only. If the right guy comes around they wont care if hes a little shorter.

    Trust me man im 6'2 and girls wont throw themselves on you just for that alone,. Well not the worthwhile ones at least.
     
  13.  
     
    well not just height but overall most girls want at tall handsome man. i'm 5'8 maybe 5'9 with shoes haha so i'm taller than most girls and most people wouldn't refer to me as short i'm more average height or a bit below average but a lot of girls prefer a guy that is 6foot plus. yeah they will date you if you are shorter but are really good looking. if you are too short and good looking then you are fukt too. i know short good looking guys that can't get a girl and they are funny and are good people.
     
     
    anwways one more thing i have personally experienced is some guys are told to go for girls within your "league" in terms of looks but think this does NOT work. actually i think i have a better chance with really pretty / tall girls.
     
    thing is average looking girls or short girls are generally more insecure and want a really good looking guy. subconsciously women are looking for guys that will give them the best babies, so if they are short they don't want another short guy to give them short kids.
     
    i'm not too short but at 5'8 or 5'9 i will not have success with the petite 5 foot tall girls. i've had better luck with girls my own height like 5'7 or 5'8. taller girls care less about height they will date a guy their own height.
     
    shorter girls i will often see with a guy that is 6 feet +. same goes for the below average girls or or average looking girl you may think oh she isn't the hottest girl here so she'll probably give me a better chance that the really hot girl, i find this false. like i said all girls under 30 yet so much male attention, even if the good looking guys just want to fuck them and dump them these girls feel like they can somehow turn these good looking tall guys into boyfriends so they will reject the guys in their own range of looks for those good looking guys. plus all women are insecure especially the ones that aren't the hottest and they want really good looking guys to validate themselves they think oh i had sex with this tall good looking guy i must be really good looking too. They don't want to be seen with a average or below average looking guy.
     
     
    so oddly enough i think the really pretty girls that are maybe even taller will give a guy a better chance, they know they are good looking and they are confident with their looks and so they are not as preoccupied with getting a guy with the best looks i think. well they of course care about looks too but i find they are more likely to give you a chance.
     
    i've talked to many of the best looking girls in my class and they tend to be the nicest and most approachable even if they are just begin nice.
     
    thing is i think most of the other girl that have such high standards will be single into their late 20s and they will then finally settle for the chubby nice guy that is balding bc they finally realize they are getting old and the good looking guys are not going to marry them or stay with them.
     
     
     
     
    oh and I agree with the "begin yourself" part not hat it is good advice. but never put on an act to try and impress women that shit doesn't work. women will easily see through your fake confidence act and they won't fall for it. 
     
  14. Dude... That was such a bummer. Lol
     
  15. Thanks for the advice. It put alot of things in perspective
     
  16. You need to hit the gym and start kicking some ass bro!
     
    You can't wish chicks into your lap. You're a man - your job is to pursue. 
     
    If you want some motivation - think of what a hollow old man you'll someday be if you stop caring now. Quitting and giving up when you're still a young man is not an option. 
     
  17.  
    Not to be harsh but whatever you do don't take Yummybud's perspective as gospel, it's definitely not as bleak as he makes it sound, his attitude could use a huge adjustment too.
     
    You've got some good tips to go on, now just start by putting one of them into action at a time. Don't try to go from 0 to 60 in .2 seconds or you're gonna get overwhelmed.
     
  18. How old are you OP?  Job?  How much do you make?  Overweight?  Hobbies?
     
    Basically, what do you bring to the table?  Seriously, write it down (not here if you don't want to).  Women desire different things than guys do, you must understand this first and foremost. 
     
    1. Don't be a bum.  Wear decent clothes (find your own style), be employed.
    2. Have hobbies.  It doesn't matter what it is (gaming doesn't rly count), be passionate and go for it.
    3. Get in shape.  Clean up your diet and start working out.  Great for confidence and you'll look better too, no brainer.  Ya the effort             sucks, but getting no love sucks way worse!
     
  19. I do think personality goes a long way. Physical attraction I think is just a first impression, of course if you're ugly no one is going to give you the time of day, but how you talk to girls, how you treat them, what you do for work, etc will help determine how far you'll go. You can be a 10 on the attraction scale until she learns that you don't go to school or work and are just mooching off your parents
     
  20. oh I don't but it cleared us some thoughts
     

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