I met a girl from work, have been receiving good vibes from her since we met sometimes when we made eye contact we would both smile and she would look away still smiling and we talked when we could but we don't work together very much. Just about 2 weeks ago I invite her out for drinks. Met her and a friend of hers and everything went very well. Went back to their place but I didn't make a move even though I was getting very strong signals from her. I hoped that I didn't disappoint her so I invited her to a party last night. She showed up a little stoned, I had been drinking but could still handle myself. Her and I make chitchat in groups and I broke out a joint and lit it, then offered her a hit and she declined, I think that's when things went south because she practically ignored me after that, then she left about an hour later. I followed her to her car (felt like she was walking a little fast) to ask if everything was alright, I apologized if the situation was awkward because I think she knew we had a thing and there were other people from work there I don't know if she trusts them. So she says everything is fine I tell her ok I'll see you later then, I walk away as she gets in her car to drive away. I just don't know how to fix this or what exactly the reason was for her being like this. Both times I asked her out it was face to face, I wonder if I should go to text so I'm not putting her in an uncomfortably situation or should I wait it out a little. But I mean what happened did she just see an uglier side of me when smoking socially or maybe it was because I offered her to smoke in front of other coworkers? Which btw I think most of them are going to know about our thing now. Shitty feeling I should mention that I have no idea where we stand right now so I don't know whether to let it cool down for a few days or just send her a text sometime today something along the lines of "sorry you had to leave so early, was wondering if we could get together sometime for dinner or another drink just us, if not I totally understand" and seeing how she responds
Could be a million things. I tried to date a coworker and she just went back to her ugly nearly bald boyfriend (At 23 LOL) that treated her like crap. The only thing I could figure is he was in school to try to become a lawyer and she wanted money, maybe he had a big johnson.....Who knows, her loss. He was such an incredible D-Bag and I got the last laugh by getting a decent job making more than he probably ever made even as a lawyer. You could get a million answers here and none of them could be right. Maybe it is in volume three due out next summer.....
Dude honestly dont even bother trying to figure this one out. When she got to the party she could have been acting weird for a thousand other reasons. I mean if you said she was a little stoned maybe being in a crowd of people stoned made her relive the memory of her old hamster dying who knows man. Just make believe this never happened and proceed as normal. She probably doesnt even give a shit anyway
Got a text back saying that I'm nice but she doesn't want anything more then friends. I'm bummed because I thought she was a super chill girl and we've had some good vibes. Her loss I guess, I really am a nice guy. I wish I knew more but I guess like you said I shouldn't worry too much about it.
Any tips to relieve possible tension? I'll be seeing her every so often next month and I'm cutting back on working similar shifts with her to give her space. I didn't text her back, I thought it would be best but she probably thinks I hate her now which isn't the case. Just want things the way they were before which wouldn't be a big deal except now more then half the people we work with know we had a thing that didn't work out and I feel like I can't control that what those group situations will be like. We've had a few one on one conversations alone at work but I'm not sure if she's still down for that.
So how many times are you going to create threads and delete them? And as for the reason why she lost interest in you is because your too nice, and the solution to that problem is to treat females like you would your buddies. You even acknowledge how nice you are, you know someone is too nice when they realize they are nice. And you better not delete this thread this time pussy!
I know sometimes I just feel like I reveal too much and when someone quotes my post I have no control over it so I delete the entire thread. If she saw this thread the way it is now I wouldn't care. I really doubt that the nice guy thing was the issue, it had to be something that happened at the party that turned her off and the fact that she was high probably didn't help as someone else mentioned. I agree though I could have treated her more normal and not come off as too nice, but there's no way that was a deal breaker.
Whatever you do, do not agree to be her friend, and don't think this is an akward situation, sometimes shit doesn't workout and when it doesn't you move on. She doesn't want anything serious? Tell her that all you did was offer her a joint, tell her you don't know what ideas he got from that but you were just trying to have fun at the party, this clears things up for her so she realizes that you are not desperate or a try hard, you just offered a join. She offers to be your friend, respond and tell her that you have a lot of friends but you do appreciate the offer And update us with her next replies, make sure you word your replies properly.
I'm actually thinking about it now, I think she may have been disappointed when I didn't make a move on her last time we hung out, but I really didn't expect to move so fast with her.
I smoked a little and am realizing this. Maybe not necessarily a deal breaker but what could have totally changed the mood is if I didn't look for a reason to stick by her but instead go do my own thing, socialize with the next group, let the host give her a tour with just her, and let her come to me on her own. It probably would have helped to not make our special friendship so obvious, she really is a lay-low about everything she's really cautious when it comes to social situations. Hope that makes sense
This is exactly what she was trying to avoid. Trust me she is thanking god she called you off, if not even getting to first base leaves you with a "Situation" at work where you try to avoid her. The more I read your thread the more I see where the problem is. You are way too clingy for most people's comfort and have such delicate feelings that they must be stored in a christmas ornament. Personally I think you are looking way too much into "Vibes" people give you. Sometimes a smile is just a smile and eye contact is eye contact because she does not have a submissive personality. I would not change a thing at work and go on with life and hopefully you have learned a valuable lesson. Don't shit where you eat. This especially goes for someone that gets crushed by rejection...... Stop looking into every little thing, seriously. Life is not as complicated as you are making it. It didn't work out, don't bother with the why, you can't handle a relationship at work because of this exact situation move on with life, get your poon from anywhere else but work. My first post was a joke about how complicated women are.....guess what? It's just a joke. Most women are not as complicated as some men make them out to be.
I think that about sums it up. I try not to be too clingy but I feel like I give off this impression that I'm maybe a bit too delicate. The only thing I want from here on is to not create awkwardness in the break room which I'm all for as long as she is. I just want to pretend like nothing happened. That's how I'm going to be
Ya man, just think of her as thinking "how can I miss you if you don't go away?". Girls dig confident, happy, guys. If you still want to be with her, forget about trying to make it happen. Be her friend but don't screw it up and try to tap into any possible glances or inuendo. Just be content and friendly, if she's remotely interested, she'll want some of that too and want to hang out. Sounds like she already knows you're interested in her. Don't play hard to get but be independent. If you build it, they will come.
When I am high, I see things I usually don't see. I don't want to be negative, but she might have seen something she doesn't like about you. Also, she may not be sexually attracted to you. If she said she wants to be friends then yes. Just from me, how I think. You can just ask her why. If she is cool she will just fucking tell you.
Yeah for sure dude, regardless I'm not walking away from this without gaining something. I'm much more confident and chill since meeting her and stepping out of my comfort zone to ask her out earlier on instead of friendzoning myself like I recently did with another chick (been going on for almost a year it's not happening and I've accepted that by now). This girl I've known for about 5 months but almost never see her. The chances we have gotten to talk got me to realize I need to step it up and I did. I accomplished a lot more here in the last 2 weeks that I decided to pursue her then this other girl for almost a year. Just started another job about a month ago working outside with a lot of pretty girls, one actually grabbed my ass yesterday now I'm on the shy side so I just need to work on that more
She was attracted to me for sure, but I think me offering her a joint in front of other workers pissed her off and I'm just like I don't give a fuck if they see me which was honestly why we had the party in the first place. Was suppose to be a no judgemental zone, but there were 1 or 2 gossips who showed up uninvited I think that didn't help either. She probably could have cut back more and loosen up but I honestly don't blame her for being cautious at the same time
Hm, that makes sense. You really should just ask her in my experience. I had some issues with my husband when we first got married. I grew up in a really honest family and his family is awkward. So he didn't have very good communication skills. To me, beating around the bush takes so much energy. Here you are stressing about what happened. She may be thinking something completely opposite that you have no idea about. Men and women are rarely on the same page. Which is why I always tell my husband exactly what I am thinking and he is like oh shit, I didn't even see it that way lol. Then we have a good laugh together, cause it is funny. You should try and set a time with her, uninterrupted... sit at a park, outside of work, where she has time and see if she can seriously just talk to you. Just talking always helps, guessing is sooo vague.
I would really like that, just not sure if she would be down for it. Best I can probably do is be more causal at work and take it from there. I know soo much stress but another thing is she had a fallout with another guy like me who works there only he went full retard I won't get into but basically they can't work together or he's fired. I don't want to be that guy. I really feel like there is a lot of unnecessary stress, this was a really small thing. The politics of work relationships I guess
I smoked a little. Just a story, There were often times when it would just be the two of us in the same area and we're both introverted so there's this silence for about 10 good seconds after saying "hi". So time and awkwardness go by until one of us mentions something like "do you think we're going to get pizza at tonight's meeting?" and we'll literally just have a steady flowing conversation about that for several minutes until one of us has to leave. Outside of work was different. She was more talkative, flirty, bold but nervous. I could have treated her and our friendship with a little more respect the other night. Not trying to be apologetic or anything it's just how I feel.