Evolution defines pleasure as the only good

 
The only responsibility I will take would be me living my life trying to fully regain my actual feelings of pleasure through medication and such.  All other things in my life are of on good value to me without my feelings of pleasure and are things that only serve to make me feel depressed knowing that I can no longer derive any feelings of pleasure from them.  So I am just better off here talking and nothing more since at least talking about my issues doesn't make me expect to feel pleasure from it.  This is because me talking just isn't something profound and great like the things I would normally like to do such as playing videogames, being a composer, going out into this life/nature and enjoying it, etc.

 

 
My anhedonia is caused by a brain abnormality.  I think it is a negative symptom of schizophrenia.  As we all know with mental disorders, you cannot just choose to experience pleasure when you want to.  The brain has to recover on its own in order for that to happen.  Therefore, my brain has to somehow recover on its own in order for my pleasure to be turned back on.  I do not experience any brief moments of pleasure at all.  This absence of pleasure is there all the time 24/7 everyday.

 

 
Since my pleasure is the only good thing in life there is, then I expect and demand that I fully recover it and remain fully recovered for the remainder of my life so that I can fully enjoy the remainder of this one and only life I will ever have.  If it was any other type of physical or mental illness that could never fully recover and kept on returning, then I would be able to accept living with that.  But if my absence of pleasure keeps on returning, then I won't accept that since my pleasure is all there is to life.  But then again, maybe I can somewhat live with that (who knows).  But in order for that to happen, I would have to have a sufficient amount of pleasure in my life and a sufficient amount of those said moments of pleasure in my life.  Otherwise, me and my life will be of virtually no good value and I would end my life.
 
As for me posting here and constantly talking about my situation, that does not mean that I am just sitting here not doing anything about my absence of pleasure.  I am very well in the process of getting the right meds, exercise, etc. that I need.  It's just that I am just posting here in the meantime when I do have many free moments to talk about my situation.

 

I have been gone and busy for a while, but I have returned and am now going to actually explain my situation of anhedonia:
 
I was told that my anhedonia (complete absence of pleasure) was a negative symtpom of schizophrenia by my doctor.  But the question is, is it really a negative symptom of schizoprhenia?  Or did it just happen due to some overwhelming stress and depression in my life?  Furthermore, there are studies that say anhedonia is not a negative symptom of schizoprhenia.  So I am unable to even tell if my anhedonia is the result of schizophrenia or if I even have schizophrenia.
 
Now I am going to continue on here with something that I think you would find very interesting.  There might actually not be anything wrong with my brain at all.  There might be no chemical imbalance that needs to be fixed and there might be no mental defects that have caused my absence of pleasure either.  I am going to explain how that could be right now with a given example.  For example, with depression, there are two versions.  One version is the abnormal version which might result from a chemical imbalance and from other mental defects.  But the other version is the normal (natural) version which would be a normal response to a stressful life event.  For example, if your mother died, then you would feel depressed and there would be nothing wrong with you as long as you do not have a chemical imbalance or any other mental defect causing/perpetuating that depression.  So there would be nothing wrong in this case with feeling depressed with a stressful life event since that is how the mind is supposed to work.  
 
Therefore, the same could be happening with me here.  My absence of pleasure could of purely resulted as a natural response to a stressful life event and wasn't caused by any chemical imbalances or mental defects.  Perhaps it is my mind's way of protecting me from those overwhelming panic (fears) I was having.  Since I felt that they were too much to bear, then perhaps my mind turned them off along with my pleasure as a means of protection against them.  My mind would of had to turn off my pleasure as well since having that turned on with my fears turned off might be dangerous and might kill me.  Or it could just cause serious problems in the brain.  If my anhedonia is completely normal, then it could very well be a negative symptom of schizophrenia.  However, like I said, it might not be the result of any chemical imbalance or mental defects.  Yes, perhaps schizophrenic patients do experience abnormal levels of stress due to them having mental defects.  But the anhedonia might be a natural response to those stressful life events and might not be the result of the pleasure malfunctiong or anything of the sort here.
 
If it's the case that my anhedonia is a normal response, then medication that is meant to fix chemical imbalances and mental defects should not help my anhedonia at all since there weren't any chemical imbalances/mental defects causing it.  Medication should not fix something that doesn't even need to be fixed in the first place.  This would even apply to me exercising or doing any other types of herbs and supplements since those things are meant to help repair the brain.  Like I said before, my brain might not even need any repairing.  Not even TMS or any other form of electric shock treatment would work either.  If a person who was depressed who had nothing wrong with their brains went in and had a form of electrick shock therapy done on them, then that treatment might work at first (or it might not at all).  But if it did work, then I think it would soon wear off and the person's depression would fully return.  Not because there was something wrong with his/her brain and not because his/her brain went into a state of malfunction.  It would be because him/her being depressed from some stressful life event is just how the mind works.  If you had something wrong with your brain such as a chemical imbalance or any other mental defect and you had a shock procedure done on you, then chances are that it might work.  But if there was nothing wrong with you and you just felt depressed from some stressful life event, then chances are that the shock treatment should not work.
 
I've heard that these shock treatments might cause brain damage and mental impariments/problems.  So I would only use those as a last resort.  But I would only use them in the event that my anhedonia was, in fact, caused by a brain abnormality.  I would never use them if my anhedonia is something completely normal.  I would never go in and needlessly cause damage to my brain over something that never needed any shock treatment in the first place.  I'm not sure, but I don't even know if those shock treatments actually cause damage to the areas of the brain that experience pleasure.  If it's the case that they do, then I would only be doing myself uneccessary damage.  Therefore, this is the reason why it is absolutely vital that we find out why my anhedonia has happened.  Is it a normal response and there is nothing wrong with me that caused it?  Is it something that did result from something mentally defective in my brain?  Or could it perhaps be both a normal response and the result of some mental defect?
 
In the event that it is just a normal response, then treatments that are meant for physiological problems in the brain such as chemical imbalances and mental defects, these treatments should not work.  In the event that my anhedonia is purely a psychological problem (such as with just my way of thinking), then only treatments that are meant to help that would work.  These treatments would be CBT (Cognitive Behavorial Therapy) and other forms of treatment I might be unaware of.  However, I'm not sure they would work and that there is only one way that would work.  This would be known as "The Fear Elimination Technique" I am going to present below.  If my fears that I am still having can be eliminated, then that might give me a chance to eventually recover from this anhedonia.  I am now going to present it here right now:
 
I have noticed that I was able to talk myself out of some of the fears I was having in the past.  That would be the fear elimination technique.  But now, there are two remaining fears I am unable to talk myself out of.  This is because there are hidden fear memories that need to be rationalized with (talked out of).  For example, a person who fears mice would freak out if mice were in his/her room.  But if those mice were to be perceived as gone such as if they were never mice to begin with, then that would eliminate his/her fear right then and there.  He/she would of talked him/her out of his/her fear by realizing they are not mice.  So that is the same method that happened to me when I first had some other fears (panic disorders) going on.  I was able to talk myself out of those fears.
 
 However, if they really were mice, then this person would freak out on a daily basis and won't be able to eliminate his/her fear no matter how much he/she tries to rationalize with the fear.  As long as the perceived stressor (threat) is there, then no amount of rationalization can eliminate that fear.  So that is what is now happening with me with these last two remaining fears since I am unable to talk myself out of them.  But I think there would actually be a way to talk myself out of those fears.  It wouldn't come from trying to directly rationalize with those fears.  Rather, it would instead be rationalizing with the hidden memories that have caused those fears.  For example, if what caused this person's mice phobia was that he/she has associated some tragic life event with these mice, then what we would need to do here is to try and make this person recall that tragic event.  He/she might not even be aware and might not even remember any tragic event that caused this phobia.  But it is there and he/she just has to recall it.  Once it has been recalled, then that is what needs to be rationalized with.  Hopefully, that might ease up or eliminate the fear once it has been rationalized with.
 
The Fear Elimination Technique
 
In the event that the reason why this anhedonia (absence of pleasure) is continuing on like this and isn't gettting any better is because of the fact that these fears are still there and that my mind is using this numbing response as a means to protect me from the overwhelming emotional experience of these fears by turning both them off and my pleasure, then this would be a technique here to try and rid of these fears in order to try and restore my ability to experience pleasure.  But if this doesn't work and my anhedonia just never seems to get better over time, then this would be the time for those brain procedures that shock your brain such as TMS and VNS which might be safe.  If that even doesn't work, then it would be time to wipe out my memory or to end my life.
 
Now the only two remaining fears I have are my fear of me speeding with the Earth since the Earth is always speeding.  My other fear is me being unable to escape the situation of my nose always being there in my view.  Therefore, I am now going to explain how we might be able to talk myself out of (reason) with those fears even further since that was actually the one and only thing that has managed to calm those fears significantly.
 
With my fear of the earth speeding, I have managed to calm this fear significantly down. Also, as we all know, phobias are not rational and result from an irrational part of the brain known as the amygdala.  This area of the brain learns through association and not reason or logic.  In other words, my brain has associated me speeding with a bad event in my life which would be me losing control since my fear of the earth speeding is actually a fear of me losing control.  The reason for that would be because of what I said before which is that speed to me means that everything is not calm and that the only way for things to be calm and for me to be calm would be if everything is at rest.  Perhaps I witnessed some event in my life in which a person was speeding very fast in some vehicle and they screamed since they were losing their mind.  I also know that with mania, the mind races and the person can go into a state of insanity or panic since the mania is too much for them to handle.  Therefore, those two events I have associated with me speeding which is the reason why I panic when driving or if I were to realize that the Earth is speeding.  I think how my phobia of speed first developed was that I was getting a manic high while listening to music on the radio while my mom was driving.  This manic high has been associated with the speed in such a way that my mania might "speed up" with the speed of the car to the point of insanity or panic.  So this is why I panic when speeding even if I were to have no manic events.  The fact of the matter is, my mind has associated me speeding with losing control and going insane and this is the reason why I panic when speeding even if I weren't in a state of mania.
 
But trying to talk myself out of my fears by saying that there is no reason to fear them, then this won't work.  Telling myself that me speeding does not mean me not being calm since there are plenty of calm people on subways and buses also doesn't work at all. The only way for me to talk myself out of my fears would be how I did it before.  This method would be trying to get rid of the perception of the associated stimulus.  For example, if I were to perceive right now that I am not moving at all (such as if the Earth were to magically stop moving), then that would completely get rid of my fear of me speeding with the Earth.  But trying to just help me cope with that fear and trying to make me talk myself out of it in any other given way, then as long as that perceived stimululs is there, then this fear would still fully remain.
 
It would seem as though as long as the message itself of me speeding is perceived as being there, then this fear would still remain.  So this is the reason why talking with myself in such a way that gets rid of that perceived message would be the only way to completely rid of this fear.  This method has, in fact, worked with all the other fears I had which is the reason why I am no longer having any of those other fears and that I am now only having these 2 remaining fears left.  If it weren't for that method being used, then I would still have those other fears even to this day and they would have developed into full blown panic disorders as well just like these 2 fears have in the past before I managed to somewhat keep them calm down using this method.
 
My phobias can only be eliminated by getting rid of the perceived associated stimulus that is causing the phobia (in this case, the message of me speeding).  This would be no different than if you developed a phobia and then a panic disorder from having a bunch of snakes always next to you 24/7 that you could never rid of yourself.  But that once the perception of those snakes is gone (such as them being taken away by a pet owner), then that would get rid of your fear completely.  I realize that there are many people who say that phobias and panic disorders are things you can never talk yourself out of since mental illnesses are not choices in which you can just snap yourself out of.  However, they would actually be wrong here.  When it comes to our mental illnesses being natural stress responses to perceived problems in our lives, then we can completely get rid of them using this method I have presented.  The only way they could not be choices in which you could not get rid of them would only be if this perceived stressor (problem) in your life persisted (such as my perceived message of me speeding persisting).  But if our mental illnesses are the result of chemical imbalances and/or abnormalaties in the brain alone, then that is when we have no choice and cannot snap ourselves out of them and cannot talk ourselves out of them.
 
So I will bring up my example here which is that if the perceived stressor in your life was your mother dying, then you would obviously become depressed from that.  However, if your mother was then brought back to life, that would get rid of your depression right then and there.  And yet if your mother remained dead, your depression would not lift even if you told yourself good things such as that there is no reason for you to be depressed and that you are free to accept and move on with your life.  The reason for this would be because the perceived stressor is still there (which would be your mother being dead).  As long as that perceived stressor is there, then it will remain there and telling yourself good things will not get rid of your depression.  But if the perceived stressor is gone and you still feel depressed, then this would be the result of a chemical imbalance and/or abnormality in the brain.  That, or it could be a whole new perceived stressor in your life now.  The reason why stress responses such as panic and depression can easily go away once the perceived stressor is gone while they always tend to remain as long as the perceived stressors are there regardless of what positive and uplifting things you say to yourself and other things, this would be because our minds are evolved to warn us of perceived threats and to only completely eliminate them when they are perceived as being gone.  Telling yourself positive things does not eliminate that stressor at all as long as that stressor is perceived as being there.
 
Now I am going to continue on explaining more.  If we absolutely can't find any way to eliminate the perception of the message of me speeding, then there would be the other perceived message to focus on.  This other perceived message would be the fear of me losing control.  But even this message can have other associated messages as well that need to be eliminated using this fear elimination method.
 
Now as for me having the fear of forever not being able to escape the situation of my nose always being there in my view, I have a fear of being trapped and not being able to escape situations.  The only thing that I have managed to tell myself that has kept this fear under control for now would be the fact that I could instead put something over my nose which would of allowed me to escape from the situation of my nose being in my view.  Otherwise, if I perceived that there was absolutely no means of escape, then I would be in a state of full blown panic right now that would last mostly throughout the day each day.  I would be in this state of panic even though my fears have been somewhat numbed by this anhedonia.  My pleasure is completely numbed, but my fears are not numbed entirely.
Now me telling myself things such as that the messages such as "trapped" and "can't escape" do not apply in this situation since they can only apply in certain situations and that there is no reason to fear not being able to escape the situation of my nose being in my view since fear is a response to danger and there is no danger, this hasn't worked.  So we have to find other ways to eliminate the perception of the two messages that apply to this fear.  The first perceived message here would be the perception of my nose always being there in my view while the other perceived message would be my perception of being afraid of not being able to get out of that situation.  Also, I don't think it can even be possible to eliminate the perception of the first message since I will always be able to perceive my nose being in my view no matter what because I always do see my nose no matter where I look.  Even me not focusing on my nose being there and focusing on other things has never helped this fear at all either.
 
Now I'm going to continue on with more things here.  If I were to somehow have my full pleasure and my fears turned back on right now, then I have some very important questions regarding that.  When there is a perceived threat (such as a lion), then the mind would obviously go into panic mode.  However, if that perceived threat is constant (such as if that lion was always there chasing you), then would you be in a constant state of panic all throughout the day?  Or does it eventually get to the point where the mind just simply wears out from all that panic and takes a break for a while?  I need to know this because it is very important.  My fears are also constant perceived threats.  Since the Earth is constantly speeding and that would cause me panic, then I fear that I would be in a constant state of panic.  Same thing with the fear of my nose constantly being there.  I also have a fear of fear.  I fear of going into a constant state of panic and I worry that would cause me to go into a constant state of panic as well.  I fear that it would get to the point of me being hospitalized and being shot up due to the fact that not only would I be unable to calm down, but also because I would die from sleep deprivation since having all that panic would keep me wide awake each day until I eventually die.  My fears are calm for now since not only are they somewhat numbed (turned off), but also because I have sort of talked myself out of them a bit.  However, the slightest thought would trigger the full blown constant panic from these phobias.  Therefore, I am now doing all I can to avoid any such thoughts that might come to my mind and fully trigger those phobias.
 
Important Clues to the Cause of my Anhedonia
 
I said earlier that it is absolutely vital that we find out whether my anhedonia is a completely normal response, is a result of a brain malfunction/defect, or is both of those things.  I am now going to explain my situation of anhedonia, how it happened, and will give important clues for mental health professionals and/or other intelligent people to decide whether my anhedonia is normal or not.  In the beginning, I had those fears (panic attacks) and didn't seem to be able to calm down.  I think my inability to calm down is purely a result of my defective mood regulation.  I have always been the type of person who is bad at remembering things.  I know that the hippocampus is responsible for memory as well as mood regulation.  I have also been the type of person in which all my moments of depression in my life were chronic and also severe.  I think they were even moments of what would be known as dysthymia (which is a chronic form of depression).  That depression would last all day everyday 24/7 for about a year or longer.  Therefore, maybe I have a weak/defective hippocampus which is unable to regulate stress and the depression stress response.  I think that is a result of schizophrenia since schizophrenics do have defective hippocampuses.  But then again, maybe mine isn't a result of schizoprhenia since maybe I don't have schizophrenia.  Schizophrenics are unable to perceive reality and what the facts of reality are.  But I am able to.  If any irrational/deluded thought comes to my mind, then it would be purely the result of my lack of knowledge and education.  If you were to teach me the facts of life, then I would no longer be able perceive those thoughts and delusions as being true.  But as for a schizophrenic, he/she would still perceive his/her delusions and thoughts as being reality and being true.  If my writing seems like incoherent nonsense to you, then that would be the result of my lack of knowledge and education.  Not because I am some schizophrenic.  
 
So maybe I don't even have schizophrenia.  I know that my younger brother doesn't.  So maybe I don't either.  But then again, maybe I do and it's just a matter of me being very intelligent and logical.  Perhaps my intelligence is able to override my schizophrenia.  In other words, maybe I am able to see the facts of life despite my schizoprhenia.  Perhaps I am able to "see past" my schizophrenia in a way.  For example, if I were to have some sort of feeling regarding a song's melody and tonality (mood) that no one else feels which is a feeling that has no rational basis in reality, then I would still feel that way even if it were proven to me that the song does not convey that feeling.  However, at the same time, I would realize that the song does not convey that emotion at all and that my own feelings would be false.  But we won't know for sure whether I have schizophrenia or not unless it is proven to me whether I actually have it or not.
 
As for my hippocampus, maybe that is not the cause of my panic attacks being out of control.  Maybe it's simply because they are very strong fears that can't calm down.  As for my bad memory, maybe that is just because I am just the type of person who just stays at home and doesn't actively engage my mind in tasks that require memory.  Maybe my bad memory is just the result of me not "exercising" my hippocampus.
 
Once I had these fears, I then made the realization later on that there are people who are treatment resistant in terms of phobias and panic disorder and that no amount of exposure therapy or any other form of treatment helps them.  This realization caused me severe depresssion since I felt that my panic attacks might last and not get better.  Immediately when I experienced this depression which was severe and chronic, that is when those fears immediately turned off.  My pleasure was still half there at the time and was half turned off.  I had two stress responses going on at the same time.  I had my panic (fear) stress response and I then had the depression stress response.  So maybe the depressive stress response dysregulated the fear stress response and left me with anhedonia.  Maybe my mind has turned off my pleasure and those fears to try and regulate itself again.  Maybe all those moments of chronic and severe depression I had before that moment of depression caused damage to my brain over time and wore out some connections in my brain since having too much stress in your life can do that.  Depression is a form of stress and can do this as well.  So maybe that damaged the areas of the brain responsible for stress and mood regulation which caused those areas to malfunction and resulted in a dysregulated stress response.  Or maybe all those moments of severe and chronic depression did no such damage and that it was instead my schizophrenia that gave me defective mood regulation and resulted in this dysregulated stress response.
 
I am really thinking here that if I didn't have those fears at all and that I just simply had that moment of depression alone, then I would not of developed this anhedonia at all.  As a matter of fact, I would have my full pleasure right now if it weren't for those fears being there and them becoming dysregulated by my depression.  I never developed anhedonia as a result of depression in the past and I had many moments of severe and chronic depression.  I know that my anhedonia was never a result of the medication I was on either since I never experienced anhedonia whatsoever being on those medications.  But in the exact moment (second) that I became severely depressed, that is when those fears and my pleasure turned off.  As for medication, I am thinking I need a new one known as "Parnate" since that is known to help many people with anhedonia.  All the other medications are only known to perpetuate anhedonia and to cause brain damage since they also can cause anhedonia.  I think Parnate is the only safe medication there is.  All those other ones (such as SSRIs) cause excess serotonin to linger on in the brain.  This lingering serotonin then becomes neurotoxic and damages brain cells and such.
 
But we also have to look at this from another persepctive as well since it might not be a dysregulated stress response and might be a normal response.  I noticed that all those constant fears I was having have all been turned off.  But all other normal fears are left fully turned on.  For example, with my fear of the Earth speeding, that fear has been turned off.  But when I go and drive in the car with my mom, then I would still be able to fully fear and panic while driving.  Therefore, there could be one of two possibilities here.  One possibility is that my mind turning off those constant fears is like my mind saying "I have turned off your pleasure so that I can help regulate myself.  Having constant fear throughout the day would only serve to hinder this recovery process and I am going to have to turn off those constant daily fears.  As for all other fears, those are just simply brief fears and won't hinder the recovery process.  So I will leave those types of fears turned on."  However, there could be the other possibility which would be my mind's way of saying "Having fear all throughout the day each day and it having the possibility that it could be treatment resistant is too much for you.  I realize that you could lose control virtually all throughout the day each day and I will turn these fears off as a means of protection against their overwhelming presence."
 
Now even though my fears are turned off, I can still experience them to a significant degree.  Therefore, this sort of says to me that my anhedonia is the result of the first possibility above since if my mind wanted to protect me from the fears, then it would leave them completely turned off.  The fact that they are still there to a degree might mean that it was not neccessary to completely turn off the fears in order to try and re-regulate (recover) the mental defects that have caused my anhedonia.  I also notice that no matter what I tell myself, that it does not ease up this anhedonia at all.  Even if I were in a particular moment where I felt that the fears weren't as intense, that still doesn't ease up this anhedonia.  Therefore, that says to me that this is not a normal protective response and that my mind is trying to repair whatever damage has been done to my brain and is trying to re-regulate itself.
 
Now I also noticed that during that moment of severe chronic depression I had that caused my anhedonia, that my pleasure was half there at the time.  But as the depression fully disappeared, then my pleasure has completely turned off and has remained fully turned off all the time 24/7 in which there are never any brief moments of pleasure at all.  Even in my dreams there is no pleasure whatsoever.  This also says to me that my anhedonia is not a normal stress response.  I am going to explain why.  I am thinking the reason why my pleasure was half turned on at the moment during my severe depression was because the area of the brain that experiences pleasure is what turns off the depressive stress response (in addition to other brain regions as well).  Therefore, my pleasure had to be turned on to a certain degree at the time in order to rid of the depression faster.  Otherwise, my depression would of still been there and might take much longer to rid of.  My brain had to turn off my depression the fastest way it could in order to get right into the recovery (re-regulating process) in which it has to try and re-regulate the fear stress response now.  My pleasure would have to remain fully turned off in order to try and re-regulate everything.
 
Over time, my anhedonia has only gotten worse and worse and not better.  This says to me that it is the result of a brain defect/mental malfunction because if it were a normal response, then it wouldn't get worse and worse.  Instead, it should of just simply completely turned off and nothing more.  Also, many people with anhedonia report having windows which are brief moments in which their pleasure returns and then turns back off again.  With me, I only had windows of fear and never windows of pleasure.  I would have brief moments in which my fear and panic would return, but then it would all completely turn back off again.  Although I might of had windows of more pleasure when my pleasure was half there during that moment of severe chronic depression, I no longer have any windows of pleasure whatsoever and only had windows of fear.  As a matter of fact, I no longer notice any windows of fear anymore either.  If there are any, then they are very rare now.  Therefore, this says to me that my anhedonia might not be a normal response since windows are said to occur since it is the mind's way of trying to restore itself back to normal.  It manages to do so for brief moments, but then everything gets dysregulated again and turns back off.  The mind cannot sustain these brief moments.  So it is back to having to try and regulate/repair everything again.  The fact that I had windows says to me that my anhedonia was the result of a dysregulated stress response that was trying to be regulated.  If it was a normal response, then it should of always been there protecting me from those fears 24/7 and there shouldn't be unexpected brief moments in which those fears return.  Also, these windows only last for 3-5 minutes each. 
 
Now I notice a strong and sort of rapid pulse in my back and abdomen as well as my neck.  I think this would be the dysregulated stress response pumping cortisol which is a stress hormone.  This pulse says to me that there is a stress response going on in my brain that is unable to calm down since that pulse is always there.  Perhaps some doctor can put their hand on my neck and measure that pulse so that they can see for themselves.  I notice that this pulse does calm down sometimes when I am sleepy or ready for bed.  Then it acts up again when I am fully awake.  There can be two possibilities that this stress response is.  The first possibility is that it is a stress respone turning off my pleasure and fear as a normal protective response.  But the 2nd possibility is that it is a dysregulated fear response caused by that moment of depression I had.  It could very well be a dysregulated fear response and I am going to explain.  Even though my fears themselves have been turned off to a degree, the areas of my brain that become active in the first place when a fearful threat (stressor) is perceived, they might be left active since I am still having these fears as a constant part of my daily life, but am unable to actually feel these fears at the moment.  These active areas of the brain send the fear signals in the first place.  Once a threat is perceived, these areas then become active and send the fear signal.  This fear signal then reaches the other parts of the brain that experience fear.  Therefore, the areas of my brain that experience fear are turned off while those other areas of the brain might still be active and are still perpetuating.  
 
Since I had very little to no control over those fears in the first place before I developed this anhedonia, then this says that those active parts of the brain that send those fear signals were very hard to regulate in the first place.  Therefore, they might of been bound to be dysregulated by any additional stress in my life.  I think that moment of severe chronic depression has done just that.  Now those areas of the brain have been completely dysregulated and, as long as they continue to perpetuate, I think it might be impossible for them to be at least back under regulation to the degree that they once were before I developed this anhedonia.  My mind might be turning off my pleasure and the fears themselves to try and regulate those brain areas.  But it is failing.  And it just might continue to fail all throughout the rest of my entire life unless we do one thing here that just might bring back my full pleasure.  I am going to state this solution in bold below to make myself clear:
 
We need to use The Fear Elimination Technique I mentioned earlier to eliminate these fears.  Once the perceived fears are gone, then those areas of the brain that send the fear signals might no longer be active anymore.  As a result, there would no longer be any need for my brain to turn off my pleasure in order to try to regulate anything anymore.  My pleasure should then fully return as a result.  If The Fear Elimination Technique doesn't work, then I will have to get TMS or some other shock treatment.  I don't think any other treatments are going to help regulate something this severe.  My anhedonia only gets worse and worse over time and I think that only shock treatment would work for it or The Fear Elimination Technique I mentioned.  But as for now, since fears and stress perpetuate anhedonia since the mind is unable to ever get back to a regulated state as long as those fears and stress is there, then my anhedonia will never get any better as long as the fear stress response is still there.  As long as I am still having these constant fears (even though I am not actually experiencing any feelings of fear from them), then that is still the constant fear stress response going on anyway that will only serve to perpetuate my anhedonia.  So I have these 3 phobias (fears) that need to be eliminated.  My fear of no escape, my fear of losing control, and my fear of fear.  Somehow eliminating these fears might not ease up my anhedonia at first.  But it would at least make it MUCH more likely for my anhedonia to recover.
 
I am now going to state some additional things that support the reasoning that anhedonia is not a normal response to a stressor in life.  There is an intelligent member on a depression forum known as "itstrevor" who helps people who struggle with anhedonia.  He gives great advice and information regarding anhedonia.  He is intelligent and has studied much up on it.
 
Here is the link to the depression website he is on and his entire discussion with others who suffer like him:
 
http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/83323-answers-to-curing-anhedonianumbnessapathy-no-1/
 
Therefore, I am going to bring up something he said which was his own stated reason as to why anhedonia is not a normal response to stress in life:
 
"STRANGE “WINDOW/SWITCH” PHENOMENON
 
Strangely, I would sometimes spontaneously and instantaneously get a “window” of normalcy where my emotional numbness would break for a few minutes and I would feel normal, as if a “light switch” was controlling my emotions and ability to feel pleasure. My libido, my numbed emotions, and that zombie-like feeling I was having – they were all related, they all came from that same part of me that seemed to be “turned off.” It's the same type of sensation that I was missing – whether it was the feeling that I was not getting thinking about a girl, the excitement I was not experiencing thinking about my future, and the enjoyment I was not experiencing being around my family doing activities with them, they all (pleasure) seemed to be just “off.” As time passed, I would see fewer and fewer of these windows until they disappeared completely. At first, with much difficulty I felt two windows once while crying shortly after arriving at home after returning from college and once during a car ride with my mother.
 
I have heard many other anecdotal reports of similar phenomenon, and many report such “windows” to last for minutes, hours, or several days before a relapse back into the anhedonia. The unpredictable “on/off” nature of this phenomenon suggests that there are underlying physiological mechanisms seemingly independent of psychological factors at work, and that there is some “threshold” that needs to be reached.
 
A “DEFENSE MECHANISM,” SUPPRESSAL OF EMOTIONS, OR ACQUIRED CALLOUSNESS?
 
To an outside observer, it may be tempting to label the loss of emotions/numbness as a natural “defense mechanism,” the result of personal efforts to suppress emotions, or callousness acquired due to age. While studies have shown that repeated exposure to violent imagery may desensitize individuals to a certain degree(such as in playing video games), it does not prevent an individual from feeling good. The healthy mind works to regulate emotions so that if there is too much exposure to a stimulus that invokes a certain emotion, there will be greater tolerance. The corollary to this is that in the relative absence of such a stimulus, the smaller the tolerance. These mechanisms work to keep emotional responsivity at a certain level regardless of external stimuli. Those impoverished in Africa do not experience more depression than people in wealthier countries. Think about this; in Kindergarten, most children are carefree and have life easy, but by the time they reach college, they have to study, work, have responsibilities and more. In Kindergarten the responsibilities of adulthood would have seemed overwhelming, and if imposed immediately on a Kindergartener, it would have been overwhelming and emotionally distressing, yet over a period of many years, a Kindergartener gradually learns to adapt to the responsibilities of adulthood. Though there is a significantly larger amount of stress, a college-aged person has the same emotional capacities as a Kindergartener. Both a Kindergartener and a young adult can still love, enjoy things, have interests, etc. An anecdotal example from my life would be that the loss of a relationship several years ago at the time would have seemed to be the end of the world, but over time there is acceptance, and I have been able to move on.
 
When chronic stress and other factors disrupt normal emotional regulation, and one can no longer experience love, sadness, laughter, etc. this is not a normal reaction to everyday stressors; this is a mental health issue. Anhedonia does not increase evolutionary fitness in cases where there are no longer any stressors present, but actually is detrimental to it (disinterest in procreation and social interaction as well as food, etc.) suggesting that it is not a natural defense mechanism.
 
Now that you've read Trevor's arguments, I think there is a strong possibility that my anhedonia is the result of some mental defect.  But you must also consider the other strong possibility that there is nothing wrong with my brain and that my anhedonia could be a normal response to those panic and fears I had.  But I will add one more argument of my own supporting anhedonia not being a normal response.  When we have any type of stress response, we are hardwired to turn that stress response off when the perceived stressor is gone.  For example, if you fear a lion that is chasing you, then if the lion were gone, then you should no longer have that fear.  We are also hardwired to turn off other responses as well to situations in life.  Therefore, people who have had anhedonia as a response to a traumatic event and still have that anhedonia even after the traumatic event has passed, then this says right here that this anhedonia is not a normal response and is instead a response that the brain uses to try and regulate and repair itself.  But with me, I am unable to tell if this anhedonia is normal or not.  If my fears are somehow eliminated, then if the anhedonia goes away in that instant, then that says to me that it either was a normal response to the traumatic event (fears) that I was having.  Or that it was a dysregulated stress response and that all that was needed to fully recover my pleasure was to simply eliminate those fears.
   
If it is a dysregulated stress response, then my brain would need to be reset like a frozen computer.  In other words, I might have to have shock treatment in order to reset my brain back to normal in which those fears might become regulated once again.  But I also have a very important question regarding this.  Can those shots that are given to outbursting psychotic patients also do the trick as well?  When you administer one of those shots to them, that shuts down their stress responses and other brain functions.  Then when the medicine wears off, then the mind resets back to normal.  Therefore, I am wondering if one of those shots would reset my brain back to normal or if shooting me with a tranquilizer gun would also reset my brain back to normal.  Maybe it's not a matter of my brain needing to repair damage at this point.  Maybe my brain just needs a quick reboot back to normal.  So this is the reason why I am saying maybe those shots could work.  I'm not sure though.
 
In conclusion, it is absolutely vital that we find out whether my anhedonia is a normal response or not.  I wish to know what is wrong with me right here and now and whether I truly have schizophrenia or if I was somehow misdiagnosed.  
 
Now I am going to present one last very important point here regarding how vital it is for me to have my feelings of pleasure back in my life:
 
If I somehow recover my pleasure, but it keeps on malfunctioning in which my anhedonia keeps on returning, then I think I might end my life.  This is because pleasure is the only thing that makes my life worth living.  Therefore, I must have that as a daily part of my life.  My pleasure is more important than the air I breathe as I said before.  It is like the air I breathe.  The air I breathe keeps me physically alive.  But my pleasure keeps me alive in the sense of my life being good and worth living.  I would rather die from lack of air and other things than to live without it.  Therefore, my pleasure is more important than my heart and is more important than the air I breathe.
 
Even if my pleasure were to fully return only once a week (which is hardly anything at all btw), then that would be a life of very little to no value to me.  Imagine being thrown into a dungeon in which there is nothing good about you and your life and is nothing but misery for you.  You are told that you would only get out of this dungeon once a week and that you would only be able to full enjoy having a good life only once a week.  So can you see here how that would be a virtually worthless life and a life that is nothing but a mockery and an insult to you and to the one and only life you found value in and wanted to fully live?  All innocent people such as myself deserve the full good life.  Especially since I am an atheist and I believe that this is the one and only life there ever will be.  Therefore, it is that much more vital that we have a full good life with as little suffering and misery as possible and with as much pleasure as possible since pleasure is all there is to life and is the only good thing there is in life.
 
Many people might say to me "So what?  My life is a dungeon as well and I still find reason to just move on in my life and do my best anyway in life."  But you are not me and I am not you.  Therefore, you could never possibly understand how absolutely vital my pleasure is for me in my life.  Furthermore, for you to still find reason to accept, move on, and make the best of life, then this would mean that you would be attributing a good value judgment to that dungeon life you are living.  It is our value judgments (thoughts) that determine how we perceive our lives.  If we attribute good value, then we would choose to live on and make the best of life anyway.  But if we attribute neutral or bad value, then we would not find any reason to live on and make the best of life.  Therefore, since pleasure is the only truly good thing there is in life, then there would be no reason for me to attribute any good value towards anything in my life without my feelings of pleasure.  The only life I am living for now would be me living to try and full recover the very thing that made my life good and worth living for in the first place which would obviously be my pleasure.
 
So there would be no reason for me to live on and make the best of life if I have lost my pleasure and could never recover it.  Some people say that their lives are neutral and have no good value, but they still choose to live on and make the best of their lives anyway.  Here again, these people would be attributing good value to their neutral lives.  Otherwise, they would find no reason to live such a life.  So unless I can recover my pleasure, then there would be no reason to attribute good value to anything in my life since pleasure is the only truly good thing in life.
 
Although I find myself quite depressed about the aspect of me choosing to end my life if I could never recover my pleasure, there are moments where I find myself laughing since I would no longer have to put up with this mocking insulting inferior life.  It wouldn't be a laugh derived from any pleasure.  But it would be a laugh nonetheless.  I could just put an end to my life if I could never recover the way I wanted.  In a way, I would be victorious even though I would just be dead in the end.  But at least I died no longer having to live this mocking insulting life and at least I no longer had to live and put up with the mocking and insulting "advice" of others who just tell me to accept my absence of pleasure and move on in my life.  How could I possibly accept and move on in a life that is nothing good at all?  Pleasure is the only good thing there is in my life and that is the reason I must have it fully back in my life.  
 
Since this life was never meant for us and does not give the full good lives to innocent people who deserve to live such lives, then we are not meant for this life either which means that we should all just kill ourselves if we are unable to live the lives we truly wanted to live and found good value in.  In other words, since this life was never meant for me and doesn't give me the life of immorality and full pleasure that I deserve since I am an innocent person who has just as much value as any other innocent person, then I am not meant for this life either which means I would end my life if I could never recover my pleasure.  Since this life has disrespected me by not living up to my expectations in giving me the life of full pleasure that I absolutely need, then I won't live up to its expectations either.  In other words, I will not live by the advice of others and I will not live by the "rules" of this life which state that we must all accept our suffering/absence of pleasure in life and just keep on plowing through life anyway.  That is an utter mockery and insult to me.  I only live by my own rules and defined greatness in life over reality which would be my desire to live a life of full pleasure and immortality (even though such lives are obviously impossible for me to achieve.  At least, the life of immortality is impossible to achieve.  But a life of full pleasure could happen once again for me.  But I just can't be too sure on this).  I have transcended through my attitude and personal values/defined greatness above this inferior reality of suffering, absence of pleasure, and immortality.  I refuse to be brought down by it since it would now only be an enemy to me for giving an innocent person such as myself this inferior worthless life of misery/absence of pleasure.  It will obey and respect me.  Otherwise, I won't obey and won't respect it in return.  I would put an end to it as I said before.  
 
I realize that there is no grand purpose or meaning to this universe which would mean that this universe cannot actually disrespect us and such.  However, to me personally, it is major and serious disrespect to take away the only life I ever found value in which would be my life of full pleasure and then to give me no afterlife of eternal pleasure as a reward.  As for people who insist that I accept my absence of pleasure and just move on in my life anyway, these are people I utterly detest.  If I had the choice, I would choose to take on the form of Hitler in my own way and slaughter these people.  If I had the choice, I would unleash a nuclear bomb upon these types of people.  These types of people would be Buddhists since they would absolutely insist that I accept my absence of pleasure.  Buddhism is about accepting of your suffering and absence of pleasure which I do not agree with at all.  These Buddhists claim they are so divine and powerful more than those types of people who don't accept.  They are wrong.  I am above them since I live by my own rules and defined greatness in life.  I do not obey them and their advice/rules.  I am, in a way, above this entire life (reality) as well since I also don't adhere to its rules and don't live by and don't accept them.  If you live by your own rules and defined greatness in life, then that is what makes you the dominating entity above all the rest of the inferior scum who only wish to lower you down and deny/restrict your own personal desires/rights in life as an innocent human being.  Even though I would have the intention of harming others who insist on telling me to accept my absence of pleasure, this still makes me a fully innocent person since these people would deserve it and have it coming.  You DO NOT tell an innocent suffering person to just accept it and move on in life.  That will surely drive him/her to homicide and/or suicide.  Therefore, I can honestly conclude that it is those types of people who tell you to just accept it who are the ones not innocent.   
 
My right and personal value that I have as an innocent person is my life of full pleasure.  This is a right I have and it should be respected and not denied and restricted by those who tell me that I should just instead accept my absence of pleasure.  If I can't recover my pleasure, then people should respect the fact that I would then end my life.  They should not still insist on telling me to accept my absence of pleasure.   
 
<div>One final concluding question I would like to ask is that Trevor said that anhedonia does fully recover if it was just simply caused by stress and as long as there is no stress perpetuating it.  But he said that anhedonia due to Parkinson's Disease can be intractable since Parkinson's Disease causes damage to the brain's axons.  I am wondering if schizophrenia also fits in with Parkinson's Disease.  In other words, will my anhedonia be intractable as well?  Is it also the result of damage to the brain's axons in schizophrenia or not?  There are some studies that say that schizophrenia is not an ongoing neurodegenerative disease and that it only happens early in life.  Therefore, if there was some damage caused to my brain due to those many moments of depression I had in my life, then wouldn't those moments of not caused damage to the brain's axons?  Would it instead just be normal damage that can be fully repaired and remain fully repaired?  Now the damage to my brain's axons due to the schizoprhenia early on in my life might of very well contributed to the anhedonia that I have developed now.  But wouldn't the fact that my stress was regulated before I developed this anhedonia say that my brain can be regulated back into that state once again in which my full pleasure would return?  If there was no additional axonal damage to the brain, then shouldn't all the rest of the damage be repaired and that my brain should eventually go back to the way it was before?  I know that axonal damage tends to be permanent.  So if my anhedonia was the result of additional axonal damage such as due to my schizophrenia being an ongoing neurodegenerative disease and its neurodegenerative effects being exacerbated (made worse) by those moments of depression I had, then that's when my anhedonia would be much less likely to recover.  
 
But even in the event that my anhedonia is not the result of additional axonal damage, then could the dysregulated stress response just be too much anyway to possibly get back under regulation due to the axonal damage that might of occured in the first place due to my possible schizophrenia?

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