I think my wife is not interested in me

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by MCherrypoppins, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. So we went through the honey moon stage and because she was my first " a lot of things " I found my sexual desire finally flamed up. And became horny all the time. She is 25 and I am 24 . For the past 6 months sex has pretty much come to a halt. ( we are a lesbian couple ). My last post we finally connected had sex but that was the last time . I don't know what is wrong . I come on to her all the time , and she constantly rejects me , tells me she is tired or just moves my hand lol. It is really discouraging me , I asked her today why she never gets horny anymore and she said " I just don't have lust anymore ". Which makes me think " I'm just not attracted to you anymore ". I hate myself right now I guess I'm ugly or just not worth it anymore in this marriage. The thing is with other people she always liked fucking her girlfriends , but me. She says we'll this is a marriage we have forever together blah blah blah. I love her so much but I feel like an ass everytime I get a tingle down there .


    *Follow your heart , load the bong , spread the joy because life is short . Don't judge just love*
     
  2. Maybe she aint gay no more


    Sent from my iPhone using Grasscity Forum mobile app while high as fuck
     
  3. It's a tough spot for you to be in, I feel for you. I commend you for starting the conversation, because it's a difficult one to start. There are many things that can contribute to a low sex drive. She could be self conscious, or have hormonal issues... My only advice is keep doing what you're doing by talking to her. Let her know how it makes you feel, without placing blame. You don't want her to feel attacked. Ask her what you can do in the situation. :) I'm sending good vibes your way!!!
     
  4. Just be like "Lick my tits" and when she says she's not in the mood say it wasn't a choice :D Just messing...there's laws against that shit. Talk to her and ask her what she means, confront her, it can't get worse right?
     
  5. I have confronted her and she says she loves me so much but I know that I just want to feel the love like physically :,(


    *Follow your heart , load the bong , spread the joy because life is short . Don't judge just love*
     
  6. Ha I've wondered this too before trust me . But I'm sure she's gay lol ;)


    *Follow your heart , load the bong , spread the joy because life is short . Don't judge just love*
     
  7. Maybe make a really romantic setting when she get's home from somewhere, candles, massage table thing, weed...if that doesn't work then something's going on that you should know about
     
  8. Sucks yo, got married too young imo.  Especially since you have little experience.
     
    She is either 1.) Getting it elsewhere, 2.) having hormonal issues
     
    As I said in another one of your posts, I would def be concerned.  Little to no sex at 25..guess what it's going to be like in 5 years, 10..?  Sounds like you are up shit creek w/o a paddle.  
     
  9. Give her a show! Sometimes people can't just be ready for sex, so my suggestion is to do what you would do if she wasn't there but in front of her,
    If she declines you just say "well I'm horny af and if you won't bust my nut, I'm gona do it and in front off you so you can watch me suffer" I bet she will get involved😘😚😍


    Why do we call it the third eye? When really it could be the first
     
  10.  
    I can't say I have any great recommendations but I have a little bit of experience, tangentially, and a lot of experience in the marital dept.

    My wife (now ex) and I had a "girlfriend" living with us for several weeks and we were having mind blowing sex during that time.  My wife wasn't working and she and the girlfriend were doing a lot of experimenting while I was at work.  I was the first guy the girlfriend had been with and the girlfriend was the first girl my wife had been with.  When chatting with my wife about the time that I was at work, she said that at first it was extremely hot and they would make each other cum but that after a week or so, the kinda lost drive with each other and she felt like they needed me to be there because I kind of pushed it along and everyone had an awesome time.

    I guess what I'm saying, besides that obviously you two need me there (jokes), is that I've kind of seen this before between two women.

    Regarding marriage death bed syndrome, it's sooo common.  I'm experiencing it right now with my current (2nd) wife.  I've lost my attraction to her because of relationship issues.  I kinda don't like her anymore.  We don't share many interests at this point (8 years in) and the marriage has been reduced to an almost life partnership where we're just trying to successfully raise kids and pay the bills.  I need help too, don't know if this helps you any.  Maybe honestly see what annoys the hell out of her about you and see if you can avoid that.  Surely there is something.  Not saying this is your fault but change is best started with yourself whenever possible.
     
  11. Are there any firsts you could do for her? Sexual or not, just to show you are interested in her wants as well. Try and spark something new and have fun with it.
     
    Try to not pursue sex for a little as well. Do things that you both enjoy and both currently want to do. Live it up in other areas and see if the spark comes back, or if other things are deteriorating as well.
     
  12. She going through depression or anything stressful? My wife and I have been together for over 11 years and when life was overwhelmingly stressful for a few years our love life was nearly non-existent. 
     
    After life started to resume some sort of normalcy I talked to her and told her I didn't feel like the romance was satisfying me due to a lack of effort on both our parts. 
     
    Basically it comes down to the fact that you have needs and if those needs aren't met then something has to change in order for you both to remain happy. Hopefully she hears your needs and does the right thing, whatever that is.
     
  13. #13 Messiah Decoy, Mar 2, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 2, 2015
    There's old pussy and then there's new pussy. It's natural to prefer the latter.

    People like variety when it comes to sex partners. With a long-term relationship things can get old when one person likes variety. It's not really about looks.

    What's the old saying? "Show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of fucking her".
     
  14. I can tell you about my situation because it sounds similar. Not saying it's the same at all, just something to think about.

    In my case, I would be your partner and similar stuff is going on. In my personal case there are two factors. One is that I'm going through a phase of not being that horny...me and my partner have a semiopen relationship and so I'm free to have sex with other people but I haven't, and I also removed my profiles from the hookup sites that we're on because I don't have the urge at all. It's not exclusive to me and my partner's sex life. I'm not sure if it's a hormonal/seasonal thing or due to the fact that I have a bit of stress because I'm planning my future but that's just how it is right now. I think it's pretty normal and not something you shouldn't automatically assume it's down to you...it makes me feel bad to turn down my partner when he wants to get it on but having sex when you really aren't in the mood is a chore, not a pleasure.

    The second factor is that this is my first relationship and I was really immature when it began years ago. I didn't know what I was getting into. And as time has gone on, I understand now that while I do love him, this wont be a forever type deal because we're too different. We don't have the same interests and it's difficult to find things we both enjoy...I actually have more fun generally when I go out with friends than with my partner and that's not how I want it to be. I have a certain plan for my life and a lifestyle that I want to achieve for myself so that I can be happy with my life and I just don't see where my partner fits into that. He has his own ideas and things that he wants from his life and they conflict. We've chatted about it several times. It's nothing to do with physical stuff or even personality, it's purely practical life stuff. I don't care how perfect a match you are, lasting relationships are more that just love or physical attraction, there's plenty of other factors. 

    This is probably totally different to your situation but I'm telling you it to explain that you shouldn't blame yourself unless you have a really good reason to...shit's complicated. It could be something to do with you, it could be a general relationship/lifestyle problem that doesn't have anything to do with you as a person per se, it could be something utterly unrelated to you whatsoever yet affects things because it affects your partner and then it transfers over. You need to understand it and the only way to do that is to talk with her, if you believe you can do that without making things strained. Or just be patient and wait and see if it passes.
     
  15. honest to god, the two of you need to do something intense together, something almost life threatening, get the blood pumping. you know? it'll make her feel hella alive, and in a weird way that turns people on. at least for me. doing something crazy and coming out with 2 arms and 2 legs makes me horny. go skydiving, take a vacation somewhere cool. not somewhere cliche, or the usual place. you just need some spice to kick things up. like me i used to masturbate a few times a day now i haven't done it in days cause i feel like im bored/depressed a lot. maybe thats how she feels. 
     
    i can tell you right now if i was at niagara falls leaning over the fence and taking a huge wiff of the fine water, hoping like hell i won't fall over, i'll get horny. 
     
  16. Sounds like you have a dysfunctional relationship, aside from gender preference or anything else.
     
    Good luck.
     
  17. #17 *ColtClassic*, Mar 3, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2015
    Do you both earn relatively the same amount of income?
     
    How much time do you spend with each other each day?
     
    Did you first meet in a long-term relationship?
     
    Is there a large discrepancy in the amount of sexual partners you've had in the past?
     
  18. What does that mean ? Aside from gender preference there isn't anything wrong with me being gay. I've been this way since birth and so has she .


    *Follow your heart , load the bong , spread the joy because life is short . Don't judge just love*
     

  19. To answer your questions I used to have a problem with her high number of people she had been with but then I realized she was a stupid teenager then and got over it . We both currently spend a lot of time together as we are both waiting for our jobs to start up again, there's been investigations going on at our place of work so we've had a few weeks off . Last night I told her how I felt about everything and she seems completely different . I think she is afraid of losing me . She is also a grasscity active user on this site and found my post . I don't know something clicked in her head and she seems like she wants to give this a true effort . Sex may be more important to me than her but she will always be the most important person to me in the world she is my soulmate . ;)


    *Follow your heart , load the bong , spread the joy because life is short . Don't judge just love*
     
  20.  
    Pretty sure that's what he meant. Saying there is something dysfunctional in the relationship, but it isn't the fact you are gay. That was my interpretation anyhow.
     

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