Insecure, depressed, wasting my life.

Discussion in 'General' started by wtfjusthappened, Feb 27, 2015.

  1. I know this forum is all about good vibes, but iv got a case of bad vibes that I just cant shake.

    Iv never been the life of the party, and im ok with that. I just want to learn how to socially interact with people I dont know.

    It's hard to describe, but every time I meet someone new my brain instantly fucks me over. I start telling myself things like "how could they every want to be friends with you" or "they are judging my every move" etc. Its extremely debilitating.

    I dont know how to meet people. I dont know what is socially acceptable. People tell me, to walk up and introduce myself, but this only ever results in me awkwardly backing away after saying something stupid.

    Im 22, iv been single for over a year, havent even come close to meeting anyone who im interested in. I just feel like im wasting my life, and the longer I wait to jump on board with the whole having a social life thing, the harder it will ever be.

    End rant.

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  2. So...Stop wasting it and do something, it isn't going to change by itself.
     
    You have to change it.
     
  3. Im 21 and felt somewhat the same, do you have a job? Thats a place to start if you dont, try taking a break from ganja too if your constantly high you wont really have much to talk about and last but not least, this ones optional drink an energy drink they really do a good job at elevating my mood my favorite brand is spike
     
  4. I do have a job. Iv been at the same job for 3 years. Iv gotten raises, and the job is good to me, but I feel like its time to move on. My life is stagnate.

    I took 6 months off of the ganj and just recently started smoking again.

    Ill have to try that energy drink thing. Im usually a pretty big coffee drinker, but coffee dosent have any added vitamins like energy drinks.

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  5. I've been o solo mio for so long I don't even know how to react when someone says they wish they were better at socializing.
    Good luck with that.
     
  6. What worked for me is doing mdma (make sure its clean & tested) with a couple of close friends a couple of times, a bunch of shroom trips and make sure you are constantly seeking truth and reading as much as you can and fighting for truth & justice in this world... eat a clean diet & exercise as well.
     
  7.  
    Ha, you've got your whole life ahead of you.
     
    How would you like to be pushing 65, twice divorced, no woman in my life, no kids, and with failing health? I've done all right financially but that's about it, and it's way too late to change any of the other things now.
     
    Make the best of your youth and your health while you have them.
     
  8.  
    I like this because it really puts things in perspective.
     
  9. #9 BGreen420, Feb 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 28, 2015
    Dude, dont feel like your alone, because i can assure you that a lot of other people go through the same thing you are right now, and i can tell you this. Things will get better, and you WILL learn how to interact better with people, it just takes time, practice, patience, and of course a positive mindset. No offense, but i can already tell you're one of those people who think to much about things. Always thinking "oh no, this person probably doesn't like me."  "What should i say to this person?"  "Will they think what i have to say is stupid"  "Will i ever find a girl, get married, have kids?"  "What do people think of me?" "Is this it? Is this what my life is going to be like? Is it going to be like this forever? Its just so mundane"  You get my point. You're first step in fixing your problem is to stop thinking so much.
     
    Next time you find yourself in a social situation, have confidence. Take things slow, and step-by-step. Just don't THINK about the next step, just take it, you know? Even if you don't necessarily feel confident, just act like it. Soon enough, you notice that it will just come naturally and having confidence is a huge part in social interactions. And, one of the keys to having confidence of course is like what i said, not thinking too much. Don't worry about if someone is judging you or not, because if they are, so what? Who cares? Now if they say something to your face, that's a different story because you can at least speak for you self and set the person straight or tell them to fuck off and move on with your life. You are going to encounter a lot of shitty people in life, but also A LOT of good people as well so you gotta always remember that man. Be optimistic, have good vibes, and tell your self "YOU GOT THIS!" You must not think about the past, or the future, just LIVE in the present. Best of luck.
     
  10. #10 Messiah Decoy, Feb 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 28, 2015
    You have to treat the social awkwardness like an addictive drug. It should be something you look forward to, like a wolf that feels threatened and gets pumped to fight.

    But instead of fighting you become spontaneous and have fun.

    It's just a matter of perspective.

    Be one with your wolf. Don't be helpless Little Red Riding Hood.
     
  11. #11 BloodBooger, Feb 28, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 28, 2015
    At 21...or sometimes even at 31...you are still a stumbling, bumbling dumb ass. ...at 51 you will realize this..but you won't be able to see it from your perspective for many years...so, what you need to understand is most people that you meet at your age are stumbling, bumbling dumb asses too. Some have their shit together, but most are making many of the same mistakes and having the same social anxiety that you have. At my age, I'm constantly amazed that young people can even make a relationship work...what with the small minded selfishness most of us carry around....I didn't grow up till I had children and then I realized that this fucking universe didn't revolve around me or my needs....I had a job to do...and that job would entail me giving, giving, giving till I could give no more and drop over dead at the end.

    If you are good at anything, concentrate your energies on that and the rest usually falls into place by accident. Sort of a zen type thing where you get what you want by not wanting it..or not concentrating so much energy on it..like relationships with girls. I guarantee you that if you come across like you could give a good Goddamn to a girl, as opposed to completely attentive and desirous...that girl will be more interested in you and more likely to show interest.
     
  12. The issue is he may not know where to begin. I think a lot of people end up at a crossroads eventually and don't know which way to turn.
     
  13. U can still live a good life.

    One question i have though..how would you do things differently if you could?
     
  14.  
    My life is what it is. The idea of "fun" has a whole different meaning now than it did when I was young.
     
    What would I have done differently? I've had a lot of really nice GFs, but always had the itch to move on after a while. I wish I would have been more tolerant and stuck with one, taking the good with the bad.
     
    It sucks being alone at this age, although it's better than being stuck in a horrible relationship under one roof.
     
  15. uhm... huh?
     
    [​IMG]
     
  16.  
    I was were you were
     
    I'm a completely different person now
     
    Intense self-reflection while smoking weed, regular combat sports (brazilian jujitsu in particular) and involvement/leadership in university groups pulled me out of that deep dark hole
     
    The jujitsu was the most important factos; my particular insecurity was mostly physically based.
     
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTgNoOX4MFA 
     
    Best of luck forward, brother, I hope you can kill those demons like I did
     
  17. M8 u need to just throw yourself out there. Go raving and put something up your nose

    Shit i love to party but weed makes me act like such a dopey guy

    You sound like a bit of a socially anxious person with a hint of paranoia. My best advice is to learn to be a naturally chilled out person. Being a quiet guy doesn't mean you're chilled out if you're constantly on edge. Stop thinking you need to be big boss shit talking alpha fuckdog, you need to be zenmaster buddha out here my friend.
     
  18. I love how nobody mentions to talk to a psychologist. Well not really, but you should talk to one.
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would likely be helpful for you.
     
  19. We all think people are judging us. Because.. They are.

    But why should you or I care about someone else's internal judgements?


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  20.  
    I don't see it the same way, I think it is fairly easy to look at the crossroad and know what way you do not wanna go...If you go anyway, that's on you, but that has nothing to do with change.
     
    It is as simple as realizing you don't like where you are headed and moving in a different direction, change isn't as hard as you have been convinced it is.  Just stop and turn around.
     

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