What would you do? (hypothetically) The kid wasnt yours

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by MilkyLumpkinz, Jan 31, 2015.

  1. #1 MilkyLumpkinz, Jan 31, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2015
    So my friends cousin whos like 9yrs olds dad found out that she may not have been his after pretty much raising her since birth. Well the past 3-4 months he found out the truth, she isn't his which makes sense because lets face it, hes pretty friggin white and she looks mixed with (black) and her mom is white. Anyway! he loved this kid up until the truth came out, and it sucks because shes a super cool kid! I got to spend a few hours with her an she seemed pretty bummed the entire time. Anyway she was sitting outside on the porch by herself and like a dumbass my friend asks her why shes sad because she was crying. All she can say is "I thought he loved me" that stuff really fucked me up. Like hes being bogus af right now, but at the same time I'm not in the situation. So blaaaddess what would you do? if you were in this situation? I guess I can understand how he can be upset over this, but hes barely seen her since. I'm not really sure what to make of it because.. ok soo yeaaa her mom was a kind of a whore an all!! but I just don't think thats her fault. Thoughts?

     
  2. If I raised the kid for 9 years, as far I'm concerned I'm still her daddy even if I'm not her father. The mother on the other hand, I'd be incredibly pissed at.
     
  3. yeaa I was thinking maybe that pushed him away (the wife thing). The fact that his wife did that to him, but idk if thats a good enough reason to forget about the kid ya raised, ya know :/
     
  4. Did he live with the child and her mother?  I would say that from what you wrote, I don't see how he went for 9 years thinking that it was his child.  If it were me, I'd feel bad, but I would not walk out on the kid.  If he does, well that's his business but it's not right.    
     
  5. from what I understand they were married an a family so I'm assuming he lived with them. An yeaa thats what I'm sayin! I don't see how you go 9yrs not knowing. Supposably her real dad is dominican or something but she def looks mixed with something because she has pretty dark skin compared to both her parents. (Not just pure white) I'm thinking he was in denial or somethin..
     
  6. It always makes me angry when I see people using kids as pawns in their fights. The kids are usually too young to understand that it's not their fault, and it's heartbreaking to see. Like, a guy I work with won full custody of his son(12 years old) from the mother and she trashed literally everything she bought for the poor kid just to spite the father and make him have to buy all new stuff.
     
  7. Hes got to feel betrayed by the women and this is seeping into his love for that girl. As the girl i would be spitting mad at the mom because her stupid ass is the reason she is in this situation.
     
  8. #8 MilkyLumpkinz, Jan 31, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2015
    yeaa I hate that to. Its like ur so worried about ur friggin relationship you forget ur kids a person with feelings! Thats pretty bogus of the mom for sure, she could've just keyed his car. But really! mess up ur kids stuff? atleast if u just gave it to him, he'd remember you loved him enough to get him that stuff not that you fucked his stuff up just to get back at his dad & didn't even think about him!
     
  9. I think it would be horrible for him to reject this child, after being a father to her for her entire life.  The poor kid didn't do anything to deserve this, and she is not even a teenager - far too young and vulnerable to understand anything.  Heartbreaking. 
     
  10. #10 MilkyLumpkinz, Jan 31, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2015
    Yea I think anyone would def feel betrayed. I do think shes mad at her mom because of the way she expressed herself when she talked about her but at the same time her mom is the only one shes got right now so I could see how being a kid it'd be hard to stay mad at anyone. Specially being in this situation of feeling rejected. The kid just looks miserable, just watching her made me miserable. It sucks..
     
    I agree, ya know I kept thinking on the drive home like trying to find a proper explanation of why it would be ok to just up and leave. I told myself I'd never understand but I just don't see me every rejecting a kid, especially one I've had in my life for so long and cared for to just stop caring? Idk..I will never know what hes thinking, maybe to him he has a valid explanation/reason? :confused_2:
     
  11. #11 riddler2k7, Jan 31, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2015
    I honestly would take the child, adopt it so legally I'm her father (you can do that right) then proceed to emotionally, spiritual, and financially that lady.......... until I get over it.

    Like OP said, it's not the kids fault and it seems the kid still wants the dude to be his daddy........
     
  12. Here is my worry on the situation. What if he never wanted to be a dad but when he heard he had a kid he stepped up. If that was me i would struggle to not go on a fucking rampage. I know its not the kids fault but if this guy never wanted kids and then he was doing what men should do when they find out they have a kid and step up only to find out you just in his eyes wasted 9 years of his life. I would struggle to feel anything but hate.
     
  13. Terrible situation.  I don't know what this guy is going through, but it's clear that the child is hurt, and this could affect her for a long time.  
     
    I never was a parent, or got involved with other people's kids.  I thought it was just too much, I don't even like to hear stories like this but I thought I'd throw my 2 cents in. 
     
  14. I totally understand, I am a person who never forgives, and would want to see that lady suffer for lying to me. But I would feel like that lying bitch will say "remember how he said he would love you no matter what (what dad doesn't tell their daughter that) and he just left?" It would be hard, no doubt but I also feel it would be kinda hard to throw away nine years of feelings a father would have for his daughter. But I would go after that bitch any and every way possible, even trying to take her own daughter away, just put her through hell.
     
  15. Yea I can def see where you're coming from, though that would really hurt for a kid to think she was a wasteful part of his life. (I can imagine) But yea I would be pretty furious to, because if his wife lied about this! imagine how much else she probably lied about. I'm sure it had to be a build up of things but then again I don't really know these people. I'm really only going off of what I've heard an seen so far.. I'd like to think any dad who decided to just step up at first though really grew to love their child. Thats what being a parent is all about, loving them unconditionally and sure sometimes that takes time but I still don't know if I'd be able to just walk away from it all. Obviously she misses her dad, shes crying over him and really hurt over this. He had to have left an impact on her that is making her feel this way because if he didn't she wouldn't be this miserable over him. Believe it or not when you're a shit parent your kid might not even care if you left. I just don't feel like that was the case, she says really good things about him aside from him leaving and saying she thought he loved her or that he doesn't care about her or miss her. He hasn't seen her for months so I don't blame her for saying that and feeling as bad as she does but I also don't blame the guy for being angry. I just wish he would check up on her because the 9yrs wasted to him wouldn't have been to her.
     
    Yea its a pretty shitty situation. I really feel bad about it all and I really wish I could do something but I'm powerless in this situation. Shes just a kid and everything she knows is pretty fucked up. Her mom really did the job in damaging her kids trust! Its a sad situation for all of them. By all I mean the kid & her dad.
     
  16. Children need to fill loved for emotional health. That child is no different. I bet he loves her and is just pissed AF at her mom.
     
  17. Sue the hell out the bitch N honestly distance my self from her and the kid to take time and think
     
  18. I would probably sell everything I ever bought her. I would continue to support the little girl but I would tell the mother to get a motherfuckin job if she wants to eat. Then I would smash all of her friends.
     
  19. It's a sad fuckin situation. Balancing your new feelings for the child you now KNOW isn't yours against the love you must feel for her would be monumentally difficult....especially adding on the mountain of hate you are now shouldered with because of the betrayal, the lies and the years of being made to provide for someone else's spawn.....its enough to make you do some crazy shit.
     
  20. Yea I think so too. It makes sense
     

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