She had an extra row of teeth, you know, like a shark....but I fcuked her

Having spent the greater part of my misspent youth chasing tail, I came across many an occasion when my dick controlled my direction instead of my head. "S" was one such occasions. She had an extra row of adult teeth behind the front row which was only recognizable in her obvious speech impediment ( sort of thick speeched, like a mouth full of marbles) or when she drunkenly laughed , throwing back her head and exposing the conehead-like gnashers. I was instantly repulsed of course, who wouldnt be? But besides being " blessed" with supernumerary teeth, she had the body of a pornstar, as if God was compensating for the tooth-angels falling asleep on the production line and perhaps going through life with huge, perfectly shaped tits and a bubble butt would somehow "even things out" for her. Well,....if you are not the religious type and instead follow a more rational, secular, dare I say Darwinian approach to understanding the genetic balancing this freak of nature presented you would have to agree that her positive attributes more than compensated for her misgivings since she successful in attracting males to share their genetic materials with her ad libidum.

I, today, think of myself as a selective, careful and quality conscience individual but am forced to concede that at least at one point in my life, I would fcuck a shark toothed slag if given the chance. Such is life....the yin and yang. Go figure.

 

I'm not trolling..just "fessing up". Speaking of which, my first year of college, I was placed in a dorm room with some stank dirty white boy from some Alabama shithole named Jeff. He was the type that was a bit older, slew footed, bearded and as dumb as a sack of hammers. He went to class everyday leaving his dirty cloths all the fuck over his part of the room...he had no friends, he knew nobody and didn't want to know anybody. I had made friends fast...I met some "cool" guy with long hair at the Union shooting pool who ended up being my college dealer for the next two years...back in the early 70's the term "cool" didnt mean someone trying to act all that, it just meant he toked....anyway, this Jeff dude and I only spent the sleeping hours in our dorm room and morning breakfast together in the cafeteria since I had to eat and he always asked if I wanted to...so, I did. Jeff was the straight Bama redneck type that only drank Budweiser and had no interest in weed....better for me cause he was a dirty unclean bastard who stank and the less time I spent around him the better. Anyway, Jeff hooked me up one morning with one of the Mexican girls working in the Caf as unbeknownst to me he had been screwing one since halfterm. The friend of the skank Jeff introduced me to was an older ( maybe 24?, I was 19) hot Mexican chick with a limp and one of those funny shoes. I quickly learned why she limped and occasionally wore a different shoe..she was an amputee.

For the next semester, maybe twice a week, Jeff and I fucked two Mexican cafeteria sluts, one ugly enough to fuck an ugly, bearded Alabama redneck with a bad case of BO and the other lookin like Jenny on the block minus an appendage. 4 feet apart under sheets. I can still smell the funk. That lopsided Mexican chica could work it baby....like a cam shaft...I only stopped tappin it after I discovered our room and my body infested with crabs. Not pointing fingers here but they didnt come from me. I went to the infirmary, got treatment, asked for a room transfer for "medical reasons" and got it. I stopped eating in the cafeteria and never saw Jeff or the Mexicans again except in passing.

I stuck to my clean weed smokin friends after that, my new roommate was immaculate, not cool, but clean...and my new girlfriends all spoke english...but.....and its a big but..that Mexican chick with one leg was sweet......hot and despite having a bush thicker than a Cambodian rain forest was to that date the best piece of ass I had ever had. Did SHE give me the crawlies or did dirty Jeff or his wonky eyed senorita? Did my girl get them and did she think I gave them to her? Thats troubled me for decades.....but not much. Lesson here: Drinking Budweiser never leads to anything good. Stick to weed.... and nasty bastards with crabs and no social skills can even get laid....in Alabama.

 

One of the main negatives about being led around your life by your cock, instead of your head is you end up in a lot of places you really shouldn't be...like in a Fat (ugly) girls bed (I actually like fat girls..just the cute ones) or in an insect infested dorm room with a couple of compromised Mexican domestics....but in all honesty, allowing your head to rule over your dick can be even worse...because in the former at least I was getting laid..in the latter all I was getting was frustrated.
 
Example: One summer, on break from Uni, I was visiting my parents in Columbia, South Carolina and working a summer job as a wine purchaser for the largest retail wine shop north of Tampa and south of Baltimore. I had worked there for years working and taking classes in wine to enable me to be a sommelier/purchaser for this Company when the main guy was on vacation..usually for the summer when he went to France and Italy to make bulk purchases from the source for the shop. One fine day a beautiful group of ladies came into my shop looking for champagne and there was a teeny tiny one with the greatest set of legs you have EVER seen...I walked over and asked if I could help her and casually just threw out "Wow, those are dancers legs!"....she looked me up and down and replied "yes, I am with the Columbia City Ballet , I'm the Ballerina"....anyway, we sparked..long story short, I asked her out, she agreed, we exchanged vitals and I had a date with the hottest little teeny tiny pocket rocket you have ever seen.
That Friday after work, I picked her up...it was a great summer night and we decided to walk around downtown doing a Bar scene hop...moving from one place to another over the course of a few hours which was popular there because of the close proximity of many nice clubs and bars ...and the weather was great.  It wasn't 15 minutes in before she started making snide comments about people she saw on the street...seems she had a criticism for everyone...she was coming across like a huge snob. I ran into several of my friends and after saying our hellos, she would comment negatively about they way they dressed, their education, the way they walked, talked...NOTHING good to say about ANYONE...I started worrying of what she must think of me. I tried changing the subject, she would make fun of the bartender, the waitress, anybody and everybody we saw..it was endless....I grew more and more negative about the date...I just started tuning her out, not listening anymore....at the end of the night...my head was filled with garbage..just total negativity.I felt awful....we never got around to talking, looking, weighing each other up because she was too damn busy talking everybody she saw down so I didn't even feel close at all to getting to where I wanted to with her...so, I decided to just end the date and go home.
We went back to my car and I drove the several blocks to her home which she shared with several of the troup and I didn't even get out of my car, just looked over at her when we pulled up to her place, leaned over and opened her door for her. She looked at me like I was a fool...I said "This just hasn't worked....I think we had better not see each other again"....She got out of the car, closed the door and walked around to my side of the car and stood close....she didn't say a thing. I was sweating angry at having had to cut my date short because of all the BULLSHIT I had to hear coming from her...I was in a real shit mood by this point. What a waste of time.....She moved closer to my car window which was down, my arm out on the sill...me just looking angry straight ahead sort of shaking it in disbelief for all the shit I went through...."Sorry, this date really sucked" I said..."Glad its over...you're home, I gotta go" preparing to put the car in reverse and leave....when she reached out, took my hand and stuck it down the front of her pants till my finger touched her wet labia...no panties, no hair, nothing..just flesh, moisture and labia...finger slightly penetrating...just slightly.....THATS when my head took over and these words ACTUALLY came out of my mouth "I'm sorry...I'm just too upset"..retracted my hand, rolled up my car window and backed up onto the street leaving her standing there looking at me like I was a tool.....100 FEET was all it took for my cock to scream "YOU FUCKING LOSER!"...my head said "keep going, you blew it, shes a bitch, you are miserable"..my cock is screaming "ITS PUSSY you FOOL..she wants you to FUCK HER!...NOOOOOOOOOOO!".....every inch, every second I moved away from her location I regretted it. My head had gotten its way over my throbbing and angry blue veined cock. Well I'll just be goddamned. That had to be the most stupid, worst call ever made by a single man in the history of chasing pussy. I STILL to this day, 35 years later regret it.
With age comes wisdom..or at least it should.and what my wisdom gained from 35 years since that episode has taught me is that if you arent willing , or man enough, to guide a woman to your desired goal you don't deserve to get laid. A real man...a true cocksman would have ignored the remarks of this silly woman because she wasnt making them about YOU...and what did her stupid attitude have to do with your goal of getting her in bed...NADA. ZIP. I lost sight of the goal line because I was too busy looking at every blade of grass.  Eyes on the Prize brothers...eyes on the prize. Don't be like me.
"Don't look at the grass if you want that ass..
  keep smiling , ignore shit..
  Soon, you will be piledrivin'"