Her anorexia has made me stop being attracted to her

Discussion in 'Sex, Love & Relationships' started by WillChives, Jan 24, 2015.

  1. So I've been with her almost a year, we met, it was great, she's funny and intelligent and really makes me tick. Sex was frequent at the beginning, and I enjoyed it but now due to her struggle with anorexia I struggle to find her physically attractive. I'm still 100% loyal to her, but she just doesn't do it for me anymore 'in that way'. I think nothing less of her as a person and love her no less, but I can't help what I find hot, can I? Advice? Thanks fellow blades 🌿


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  2. #2 MrJamesDean, Jan 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2015
    leave her.
     
  3. whatever you do don't tell her you don't find her attractive anymore and thats whats breaking the relationship, literally anything but that. shes already going thru a rough time. one of the very few situations where lying would probably be best
     
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  4. #4 BIGGUNZ, Jan 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2015
    Dude grow a pair and either leave her or man up and help your girlfriend through it. If she is actually anorexic and you actually loved her you would still find her beautiful because even if right now she isn't looking her best it's not just the outside that matters and you obviously thought she was attractive in the beginning  
     
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  5. Sneak some bacon fat into her food.

    It reminds me of the American dad episode where Stan starts losing weight but thinks he getting fat, so they start injecting lard into his celery.
     
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  6. Is she getting treatment for the anorexia?
     
  7. She's having therapy and was in a residential care plan for 6 months, just before we got together. I am still hugely attracted to her personality and of course I will help her through recovery, but it's solely the lack of physical attraction that I'm referring to which directly impacts my sex drive. I think it could be a good year until she's fully recovered, and I'm sure I'll be physically attracted to her when that comes. It's just, what to do with this empty slot for intimacy that I retain as a human being and can't help but want to be satisfied?

    Thanks for letting me vent at you blades, this is my first ever post and I'm glad someone's at least listening, irregardless of the opinions I'll hear back, so thank you.


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  8. so a girlfriend to you is only about how she looks? something to flaunt around town?
     
    you're either with her for the right reasons or you arent, sounds like you arent..
     
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  10. My input is that anorexia is a disorder and you should get her some help with it... or at least push her in the right direction. Maybe therapy? I don't know, but obviously help is needed in an anorexic person, especially if it's affecting your relationship with her.
     
  11. #11 MilkyLumpkinz, Jan 24, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2015
    This is pretty sad..I feel for these chicks. Just recently I saw a documentary called "Thin". Its about women/girls that go into a facility for treatment of anorexia/bulimia,etc. Its pretty sad to watch at points because you get to see how vulnerable they really are. It is no easy fix! and to be honest, if you truly loved your girlfriend..you obviously wouldn't be on here asking this question, like wtf! BUT since you are. My advice is to find the courage an dig deep inside yourself to find out how you really feel about this chick. I really don't think its love, but if you care enough about her, you'll stay but of course don't if you feel like you're gonna resort to cheating or leaving anyway. Then minus well just leave now! She deserves someone who will be there for her through thick an thin! (no pun) thats what a relationship is about! Sure attraction is great an all, but looks fade. People change with time, an they def don't look as great when we first met them. What keeps us around is who they are on the inside, their heart. So as OP said, Man up & be there for your girlfriend, or just go. Don't tell her why because that could really scar her an she obviously already has her own issues. But whether you decide to stay or go, push her to get better. Recommend treatment, talk to a very close friend or family member about the situation. An do not HURT her, more then you have to.
     
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  12. I was hoping that my post would be taken with the fact safe that I love my girlfriend, no one is kidding anyone on that front. Just needed help on how to get through this with her, and I know it's way harder for her than it is for me but these issues do effect the people that surround the person suffering. P.s. She's doing good though, so things are on the up


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  13. I'm kinda with Milky on this one, the fact you even needed to make this post makes me question how you really feel about her, or why you're with her in the first place. so shes going through some shit and she doesnt look like she used to? then be there for her and help her through it!
     
    you've been with her less than a year, you're gonna go through periods where you two might not even want to talk to each other, thats just how things are. every relationship has their ups and downs, and will test you from time to time. If you really care about her and you're in it for the right reasons, you'll stay with her and be there for her..
     
  14. as long as she is getting help and making progress then hang in there. if she is giving zero fucks and purging after every meal, leave her. it is fucked up to say it like that but here is the truth in it.......if she is going to crash and burn then she will have no problem taking you with her. this is a serious mental problem and not many people find a way out from it. unfortunately no one can give you the right answer but you. good luck man, yours is a hard fought journey full of pitfalls and traps.
     
  15. Whatever you do don't tell her you don't find her physically attractive because that'll make her illness worse. But threaten to leave her if she doesn't improve and if she doesn't then leave her. Tell her you can't stand watching her hurt herself.
     
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  16. 3 simple words: i am gay
     
  17. just curious how little does she eat?
     
  18. You don't love her, you love the way she looked and If you did really love her this wouldn't be an issue in the first place. If you're not willing to help her through something that's actually really fucking hard to deal with, then you should leave her, because she deserves better then you.


    You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
     
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  19. And I am willing to help her, I owe it to her and know she'd do the same for me. To mr curious she was on 350calories a day at worst, now around 1000, bare in mind around 1200 are needed to maintain weight even whilst in a coma.

    Thanks for your advice and opinions, I appreciate your time.


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  20. Has she tried cannabis? Slip her an edible and fry up some fatty foods.
     

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