I'm starting to wonder if I have a darker and more assertive self underneath. I've always been a push over for my half-sister (we met as adults). I play the goofy nice guy and she treates me like a dope. We don't talk much any more but she calls during my birthday. So we're talking about her 3 year old. She says her daughter is really smart. She says it couple times. So I get a little manic and start saying her daughter will hustle her for some cookies and raising kids is like doing a bid. Suddenly she talks to someone else and quickly tells me she'll call me back. Of course she never does. So the next day I feel a bit slighted and start to think back "was it something I said?". Then it hits me. When she pointed out her daughter was smart a couple times it must have triggered somthing in me. Cause I used the term "hustler" and "bid" (prison sentence). Her baby daddy was a jail bird and drug dealer and I knew she still had feelings for him when he left her and her baby. So I basically insulted her without even realizing it. A dark personality virtually took over while my nice and naive persona was oblivious to the subtext of what I was saying. What do you guys think? Do I have another, darker personality under the surface? Do you have any experiences like this? TL;DR - I said some mean things to my sister without realizing it. Wondering if this could be a submerged, darker personality.
I think it was coincidence and that you're looking waaaayyyyy to deep into it. If you're a push over then youre a push over and believing that a second personality of yours that's more dominant and aggressive comes out unexpectedly, isn't going to change the fact that you're a push over. Grow a pair and consciously think and make the decision to be more dominant instead of hoping it'll somehow happen
But I don't like being a jerk and to me there's a thin line between "being assertive" and flat out being an asshole. I didn't want to hurt her feelings even though she treats me like I'm simple. I believe in karma so getting back at people is pointless when I believe the universe will make things right. Even when I want to teach someone a lesson, I'm conflicted as to whether the punishment fits the crime or whether I'm putting out negative energy. I'm really not the type of person who welcomes conflict. But I'm wondering if part of me secretly does.
While I didn't intend on saying things I wouldn't consider them an accident. I was speaking directly from my subconscious.
Yes, you're the next tyler durden. Now that we've cleared that up i'm going to need you to blow up wells fargo on account of my massive credit card debt. And remember, don't ask questions. Sent from my SCH-I535 using Grasscity Forum mobile app
Alright bro. Here's the deal, being a pushover gets you NO WHERE good in life. I was for suchhhh a long time, and I let people walk all over me and treat me like shit. Speak up for yourself. You're going to end up snapping on somebody someday, and it's going to be bad, because you held it in for so long. Under no circumstances should you EVER tolerate disrespect. You're a person with feelings and thoughts just as much as your sister is, and she needs to learn quickly that she has no right to treat you with such blatant disrespect. Fuck thatttttt.
Also, which part of you do you think is going to serve you better and get you what you want/need out of life? Letting people treat you like their bitch? Or standing up for yourself and what you think?
Half sister? Like blood related? If blood related, I'm going to hold off on what I was gonna say As for the OP, I think you are looking too deep into it man, don't think your demon said it
"There are things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
I think there needs to be balance. You can't be a doormat and you can't flip your lid every time someone says something slightly offensive.
Like I said, it's simple. If someone's disrespecting you, defend yourself, but respond appropriately. Don't punch somebody in the face for saying your hair looks greasy today. However, punch them in the face if they call you a dumb ass incest-participating bottom feeder.
Once had a Gameboy stolen from my backpack when I was younger but the weird part was what was left in its place. An old worn hard cover copy of "The Sixth Wave: Led by Phaide". Blew my young mind and I haven't missed that gameboy. It really made me think differently. I like to think Tyler Durden made the switch out. Seems like something that character would do. Instead of melting my mind with a gameboy he opened it with a book.
Accidentally saying something that was inherently offensive doesn't make you evil. You used terms and sayings that were part of your life before and common slang. Old habits die hard. You did without intention. Now i know where you are coming from and you have nothing to worry about it sounds like. I have sociopathic tendencies and well lets just say the things i do without knowing it or subconsciously are far far eviler than you accidentally saying something wrong. Don't worry.
Idk i do these wierd fuck ups from time to time and then think " how did i even come up with that subconsciously.man i am a dick" fuck it though cuz i didnt mean to
I'm really missing something here...your sister tells you her baby girl is really smart ( like ALL mothers feel about their babies, even if they are as dumb as Benjamin "Bubba" Buford) and THAT somehow triggered a slightly smart Alec reply from you...that now has you worried about being a closet asshole? And your sister non confrontationally just excuses herself by saying she has another call? Maybe you do have "issues" if THAT gets you thinking hard. You sound like a nice guy...next time she tells you how cute or smart her baby is.....just agree. No matter WHAT you believe...family is hard sometime....but they are blood. It's worth the effort.
You lapsed in concentration and said something you would have usually said if talking to someone else. Plus Tyler Durden would have reduced her to tears over the phone not passed some vague comment that is barely an insult.